IT IS FINISHED

I FINISHED THE DAMN ESSAY YASSSSSS EMILY YASSSSSSSSS I HAD 1,007 WORDS THIS IS GREAT I'M FREE I'M FREE I'M FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

39 WORDS LEFT ON MY ESSAY I CAN DO THIS I CAN DO THIS!!!!!

I have a really bad headache and the right half of my face hurts like crazy. I tried aspirin and taking a brief nap, but neither really helped at all. I'm starting to think that I get stress-induced headaches, but that doesn't really explain too well why half of my face hurts.

Work Last Night

Last night I got out of work at 11... It's looking like it's gonna be that late on Tuesday, too.... I can't have that going on, I'm gonna lose my mind!!!!! There was a really adorable little girl who came into the store dressed as Elsa from Disney's Frozen and she was precious! Apparently she wears her Elsa dresses every day: they had to buy her four dresses because she'd never take them off! We had some Frozen character socks, but we sold out of them the week before she came in! Funnily enough, two of my coworkers were arguing over which movie was better, Frozen or the Fast and Furious movies. I think that girl settled that argument pretty well.

I'm heading in to work now. Wish me luck! This is probably "goodnight," too. Oh well!

OOPS JK I HAVE 817 WORDS THIS IS BETTER THAN EXPECTED

I got 801 words on my essay, WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got some annotations done, but I can always do that on my break or later tonight by lamplight or something. All is well in this girl's world! It's just such a big relief to be almost finished with this homework. That was one of my biggest stressors.

I FINISHED THE QUOTE REFLECTIONS OH MY GOD YASSSSSS

I'm so mad that I have to work tonight! At improv, our fearless leader Bob is doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge along with two other players who were nominated on stage! All the proceeds from the show are going to ALS, and they'll be matching donations. Personally I just wanna see them get buckets of ice water poured on them!

8/23/14

Good morning everybody! I'm off to a solid start this morning: I ate a healthy breakfast and exercised a little. It wasn't much, but it's a great start. I have a lot to get done today. My goal is to finish my quote reflections and annotating my book before I go to work at 4, and then to get to at least 800 words on my essay. I would love to just enjoy my last day of summer break tomorrow, so the more I get done the better. I also plan on exercising at least a bit today. I've gotten in such bad shape since I was in New York, and I need to do what I can to get to where I ought to be health-wise.

Ferguson

My mom just got home from  St. Louis, which has me thinking a lot about the situation in Ferguson. The whole thing really angers me. It angers me that a cop killed a boy for absolutely no good reason. It angers me that the police there are inept, racist, and doing nothing about it. It angers me that this man got away with murder. It angers me that when a community came together to protest, they were treated like animals; tear gassed, shot at with rubber bullets and even live ammunition and hardly anything has been done to help them. It angers me so so much that the journalists trying to cover the situation are being denied their rights and even threatened by the St. Louis county police department. It angers me that the first amendment is being denied to these Americans. It angers me that the police in Ferguson are deliberately breaking the law by hiding their identities. It infuriates me that many police forces in America, especially Ferguson's and St. Louis county's, are more militarized than ever and even have more gear than America's army. It infuriates me that absolutely nothing has been done to take control back during this gross miscarriage of the law by the federal government. It infuriates me that nothing is being done, period.

Stress Post 1/who knows how many

Ugggggggggggggggggh writing is so so so hard and I don't wanna do it one bit and blehhhhhh. I just wanna lay around and sleep and be cuddled and that's not gonna happen for a long time and blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

My cat was just in a deep sleep and it was really really really cute. Needless to say I was distracted.

I feel like everything that I'm writing is super lame, but in the words of the deep voiced whatchamacallit in Katy Perry's Dark Horse, "There's no going back."

Aaaand I'm still far from finished with my essay. Great.

8-22-14

As expected, saying goodbye to Andy was really really rough. I felt bad because 40 minutes before I had to go I just burst into tears. I cried and cried and cried and it was really awful. I don't even know how I made it home, I was falling to pieces and screaming and sobbing and it was awful. I feel a bit better now, except for the gazillion other things stressing me out.

1 AM AND STILL GOING STRONG

I'm like halfway done with my essay, a bit further on the quote reflections, and I annotated my book some more! (I initially stopped after the first 50 pages; I was annotating too much and it was distracting me.)

My dad told me it was bedtime... Dad I'm fully aware what time it is and YES I'm still gonna work on my homework!

I have no motivation whatsoever. I need to to be held at gunpoint to get anywhere with all of this homework. Honestly I'm saving some of my Honors Government homework to do on my lunch on the first day of school. That's how far this has gotten. Why must school be this stressful?

Welp, I still have a fair deal of writer's block! It was helpful to unwind a little bit, and having written the big things that were stressing me out was kinda therapeutic. Now I just have to persevere with the working...

Writer's Block Blogging

Ugggggh I have insane writer's block right now. It might just be stress getting in my way, cuz I am so so so so stressed, so I'm just gonna blog about all the things that are stressing me out and that might help. If not, I'll just take a bubble bath or something small to distract myself long enough to calm down. So here's the collective list of everything that's stressing me out, not necessarily in order:

• Andy's leaving and I feel like I've wasted so much time this summer that I didn't spend with him. 
• All of my summer homework. I feel bad about this all around because I put it off and kept getting distracted by travelling and then Andy. I feel like no matter what I do I'm not using my time as well as  I could be. I need two extras days each week. 
• Being in charge of the school newspaper. On the bright side, My co-editor said multiple times that she is glad to take on the brunt of the work since she has a very easy schedule, which helps, but I worry that it might be a lot for the both of us. And some kids on the staff aren't very reliable...
• The first week of school, in English alone there's so much work: the first day we have two essays due the next day. That's absolutely insane and I'm not ready for that mentally. The first semester alone is gonna kill me.
• I've been gain a lot of weight as a result of eating worse at work and not having much time to exercise. I feel really crappy about my health, especially since I started the summer off so well, heading to the gym every other day, eating well, doing pilates, walking the dog, and so on. I really screwed up there.
• Being a giant screw-up in general has really been getting to me,

Tomorrow is gonna be so rough. I'm gonna be getting up early to work on my quotation reflections, and then I need to pick up some cookies and chips and veggies for the newspaper staff meeting, then seeing Andy for the last time for at least a month. At first I was way more freaked out about him leaving; I thought I wasn't going to be able to see him until at least Thanksgiving when he comes home, but I'll be heading up to Cleveland for theater classes at least twice before that. I do a program through the Cleveland Playhouse Education group where me and other high schoolers from the area get to take two master theater classes, have a free lunch, then see a show for free every month during the school year. It's right next to Andy's dorm building, so I'll at least get to see him regularly! I'll still cry Thursday night when I leave him, even though I know it won't be that long. Letting go is just really really fucking scary.

269 words down, hella words to go!

8-20-14

Yesterday I made a huge mistake. I didn't work on any of my summer homework. Not even a little bit. I done goofed. And I'm only just starting to work on it now today. I'm so so so so so so so so screwed. I have tonight, early early early Thursday morning, Friday night, and Sunday. I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die...

Shoutout to my mom for taking my phone again.