Uggggggggh Rough Seas Ahead

So in late March, my school's theater program is heading down to Columbus for the State Theater Conference. We do this every year, and it's always been a pretty positive experience. Well, until today.

One of the major portions of the State Conference is the presentation of the All-Ohio show. Essentially, All-Ohio takes the best and brightest actors and actresses, stage managers, crew members, and techies from across the state of Ohio and they all put together a show. The show alternates between a musical and a play. This year, it's a musical, and that musical is Spring Awakening. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the musical, it's a very beautiful show that explores the drama and trauma of puberty, bildungsroman (coming of age), and teen angst. It tackles a lot of typically taboo topics like sexuality, masturbation, sex, abortion, suicide, and sexual abuse. I have absolutely no problems with the show, and think that it's fantastic, beautiful, and overall spectacular. In fact, my friend Luke is in it! However, my DAD has a problem.

Part of the deal with Spring Awakening is that our parents had to sign a consent form for us to see the show, regardless of if we are of legal age or not, since it covers such sensitive themes. My mom and I, over a month ago, signed and turned in the consent form, and we thought that that would be the end of it. But alas, my troupe director Mr. K sent out an email to all students and ALL parents, both mothers and fathers of all the kids going, to inform them of the show, and needless to say, my ultra-conservative dad took great offense to it. 

Tonight, my mom, dad, and I had a talk (which really was my dad yelling and blustering through half-sentences-half-slurs and cussing up a storm) about the show. My dad's main point, hidden behind his clumsy, angry words, was that a Catholic high school like mine should have opted to boycott this particular show and should reserve the right for the department that sets up these shows to select shows that do not offend the beliefs of a particular audience, but are shows that every person in the theater can get behind and enjoy. While I stand behind this thought, I don't think censoring a theater conference is going to do very much or go over very well. The biggest problem I had with my dad's tirade was the insults he gave to my theater program, Mr. K, my school's principal, my friend in the show and his parents, and another completely unrelated girl who graduated but played nearly every lead role in the productions at school. (The last girl is a whole other story, my parents hate her because they feel like she kept me from getting good roles but it is what it is, and she's very talented and did a good job with the roles, even if she was never kind to me,)

My dad announced his plans to call my school principal and attempt to shame her for "not having the balls to eiorbewouiafioabfowa!" It's funny because my principal is a woman. Then, he called Mr. K, one of my favorite teachers and an adult I trust considerably more than him, a "namby-pamby who was trying to indoctrinate us theater kids with goddmaned liberal ideas." That's also funny because Mr. K teaches religious studies at me school, and is hands down the best religion teacher there. Then, he insulted my friend for "wanting to go up and do a masturbation and then do some suiciding on the stage" and his parents for allowing him to take part in such a "vile theater-concert." This made me incredibly angry, because my friend Luke is an incredibly talented performer, and performing in an All-Ohio production is something to be extremely proud of regardless of which show it is, AND because his mother was my pediatric dentist and my dad just threw her under the bus. Then, with the other girl, my dad referenced her endless appearances onstage at almost any event at my school, whether singing the National Anthem, performing "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes before football games, dancing with the dance team during the halftime shows, or all of the above and said that "she may has well have been doing a masturbation, too!"

That was all just too damn much. I can hardly stand my father and his endless desire to protect the innocence that I don't have and lost years ago (no thanks to him) as well as his need to impress his extreme conservative views that we see daily in his Bill O'Reilly-adoring, FOX News-consuming, offensive email-readings, and more. I am who I am, and he still hasn't learned that and he probably never will. I do my best to put up with him and appease him, because I know I can never get him to learn so I shouldn't even waste my time with that, but there comes a point where the line needs to be drawn.

If you haven't guessed by now, I don't have a great relationship with my dad, and our ideological differences only split us apart further and further. It makes me sad, really, but I know that I'm helpless against it, because I can't change, and I doubt that he can either.

Also, I'm super pumped that I won't be going with the group that had my ex, the homecoming queen, a guy who annoys the bejeezus out of me, and two girls I've never met before to the dance because they "weren't able to change the reservations at thee last second." Really, I'm excited! I only would have had Dylan, Abby, and then only one friend to talk to while I was there!

Evening Adventure

I took my dog to the vet earlier to get the sutures from her surgeries removed, and we had a grand old time together! She was a brave doge at the vet's office, and on both of our car rides we had a really fun time. We discovered that her favorite songs are "Fergilicious" and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," and we had a really cute singing and dancing party that featured me almost driving into our local bank since she kept trying to stick her head into my armpits. It was really really precious!

Blehhhh I'm so so soooo tired now....

2/26/15

Today was, for the most part, uneventful. The only (incredibly ironic) thing that happened to me was finding out that the group that Dylan arranged for us to get pictures and dinner with before Winter Formal was the group that my ex and the lovely homecoming queen are in! ISN'T THAT SO FREAKING FUN, GUYS?!

Goodnight!!!!!!

I'M SO PUMPED RIGHT NOW I COULD PUNCH A BEAR IN ITS BEAR FACE!!!!

So...

So if that means drinking nothing but lemon water the next three days, so be it! If that means exercising for a solid hour and a half each day, so be it! If that means skipping breakfast, fine! The point is, I'm about to lose some weight, tone my body up, and then have a great time with it!

I mean I need to start really losing weight since spring break (and therefore, ARUBA) is in about a month for me! I was doing pretty great before I hurt my ankle, and now that it's basically back to normal I really need to make sure that I'm getting myself back on track. My goal this weekend is to weigh myself on Sunday, and I want to weigh about the same amount that I did before my ankle was injured, give or take 0.3 lbs.

Woo!!!

I managed to fit in another full body workout before bed! Go me!!!! I'm feeling super determined to lose some weight/tone up before Saturday. Tomorrow, I'm going to wake up early so I can do a small, short workout. Then after school I'm going to hit the treadmill and then repeat my workout from tonight, adding in a few extra small things! I may skip breakfast/have a lighter lunch than usual, I'm not sure yet. Either way, I'm going to be taking serious strides to improve my fitness and my body.

I was productive, score!

Wish me Luck!!!

Goodbye for now!

I have to hand off the computer to my sister for a few hours now, so goodbye for now! I promise I'll (try to) be productive!!!!!!!

Whyyyyyyyyyy?

Uggggggh I lost the fire and I still have all kinds of work to do....

I'm gonna try to get through my bio and at least do SOME of the math homework that I have. I need to, as a bare minimum, do the homework that I had over the snow days and the worksheet that was my homework for the past two nights. I can always do tonight's math homework in study hall tomorrow/before school. The bottom line is that I'm not motivated enough in math which is why I am always putting it off and it ends up biting me in the ass in the end. Like in the units where I pay attention and actually do my homework the night it's assigned, I do soooo much better on the tests and stuff than when I'm constantly procrastinating, not paying attention, and struggling to catch up. I did GREAT during the last chapter, but with this new one, not so much...

Overall I'm pretty pleased with my day off, although it comes nowhere close to anything Ferris Buehler-esque. This is honestly the most productive I've been in ages!

Believe it or not, I'm on fire!!!!

Over the past hour and a half, I've basically finished my religion homework, made a lot of headway on my poetry analysis packet for English, AND I'm just about finished with my service project essay! I mean I haven't started my math, but that's not necessarily a bad thing! To be honest, I got about as much work done in an hour and a half at home as I would have done in eight hours at school, if that tells you anything about my school schedule.

OKAY, I'm doing SOME work...

I've decided to split the time until my sister gets home with my work between my next Video Production project, my community service hours essay, and getting ahead on my religion homework. I'm not about to look at my math until my sister arrives home with a calculator. If the spirit moves me, I'll read some of my textbook to try to get a better understanding of what's going on there. I can't really afford to get behind; I only JUST brought my grades up from the pits of despair and fixed my GPA to where it ought to be...

Uggggggggggghhhh

I'm super bored and not in the mood at all to work on homework and the like. I probably should at least catch up on my math, but it's annoying and I don't want to work at all....

I'm kinda in the mood to watch Marley and Me or something of that like. I need some cute animal antics in my day!

Sick Day

I essentially passed out last night and was out cold. I feel pretty blehhhhh and weak more than anything else. I was incredibly dizzy earlier, but now that I've eaten I feel somewhat better. Overall I just need some time to recuperate myself and get stronger for tomorrow. I can't really sleep anymore, but it's nice just to lay down and rest my head and everything else. I don't really want to go back to school, to be honest! But I'll survive. Not too long until I'll be out of school anyways, and that's the silver lining I need!

Uggggggggggggggh

Aaaaand to top everything off, my ankle is really hurting me again. Like can it wait until after the Winter Formal dance this weekend?

2/24/15

Overall, today was pretty awful. I finally got an email from DePaul about the scholarship, and well... I didn't get an interview. I'm pretty upset about that since it sort of validates all the feelings I had been having the other night when the whole posting of scholarship brags began. That, on top of the whole beautiful homecoming queen getting with my ex thing threw my self-esteem in the shitter today. I haven't felt this awful about myself in quite some time.

The only good part of my day was volunteering at my school's blood drive, but even that got marred since my poor sister went through some traumatic experiences in that whole process. My sister has blood drawn regularly for tests and the like, so she was expecting things to be a piece of cake. And of course, they weren't! Her nurse could not find the vein correctly and wound up bruising her arm pretty terribly. She had started to cry and she absolutely HATES crying, so I helped her out and got her tissues and juice and cookies while she was feeling horrible. Once they finally got the needle into her arm properly, they cut her donation short since she wasn't getting blood out fast enough, so she basically went through all that trouble for nothing. Now, she's in a ton of pain and so am I. 

I just want to sleep, so I'm probably going to ignore the majority of my homework again.

LOL @ My Self-Esteem

So this morning I found out that my ex boyfriend is going to the school's winter formal with another school's homecoming queen… Meanwhile, I'm the trash queen...