Uggggggggggh I can't focus in study hall at all right now....

There's this incredibly obnoxious and loud group of Freshmen sitting across the table from me and I can't concentrate on my poetry analysis project at ALL. Tonight is going to kill me. I want to turn in my poetry project tomorrow but I will probably get home some time around 10:30, I have to pack my stuff for States, and there's no way I'll have the energy to work and finish this tonight. I'm getting nowhere, ugggggggh. 

I think I'll do what I can tonight, but I think I'll just have to turn my project in on Monday. That may be the only viable option. Nonetheless I am ridiculously tired out and ridiculously annoyed with the Freshmen sitting in front of me. 

Yesterday

Yesterday wasn't nearly as abysmal as Monday was, but it still was ehhhh. The lacrosse team had an away game, which they won (yay!), but it was pretty far away. When I got home, I was completely dead. I was barely able to stay awake. 

Goodnight...

I got next to nothing done tonight. There's no way in hell that I'll be finished with this project by the time I leave for the State Theater Conference, especially with two away games...

Uggggggggggggggggggggggh

Dear school, 
WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS BULLSHIT?! I've been a good girl all my life, I've behaved in class and paid attention, I've diligently done my work, and I hardly take time off for myself. Why must you keep getting harder and more stressful for me?!  I have never done you wrong. I'm in the final quarter of my senior year! Things were supposed to get easy this semester!!!!! Alas, they aren't...

I may just sneak downstairs for a snack before I get back to work on all my other stuff. I can hardly think straight my brain feels like a slushie!

I SURVIVED THE PLACEMENT TESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, I bombed two sections and I may need to retake them which SUCKS, and if I do poorly on them again, I may have to retake the class I took last year for math. I wouldn't really complain about that though, because I did pretty well. I just wish I had my binder from that class still!!!! Like I don't really want to go into college taking some incredibly difficult math class when I'm not really going to need much math where I'm going. Just basic Algebra and arithmetic! Still, my brain is completely fried and I'm in no mood to work on my English project or anything else, for that matter!

3/24/15

Today sucked big time. I'm not in any mood to go into details but lets just say that everything that I thought would go wrong did and then some! I'm about to take a math placement test for DePaul, so wooooooohoooooooo kill me!

Goodnight.

Fuck everything I'm going to bed.

Low Moment Y'all

Ugggggggggh now I have to deal with the freaking Carmongeddon bullshit tomorrow on top of this dumbass project, my placement tests, prom dress bullshit, AP Bio test that I'm not prepared for at all crap, and a ton of other bbullshit that isn't coming to my head at the moment. This week is going to suck more than last week did. At least I had a light at the end of the tunnel last week, you  know? This week I have nothing. There's the state theater conference, but to be honest I don't really want to go since I'm the reason my school doesn't get to see Spring Awakening, I'm not performing in an individual event, and I'm stuck rooming with two girls I barely know and another girl I don't even like since all of my "friends" just HAD to room together. It would have been better if I just didn't sign up. They'd get to see their musical and they wouldn't have me weighing them down as a person who needs a room. Good god and I'm trying desperately to lose some weight, but that's looking highly unlikely, especially with my sister stuffing me with fast food in an attempt to "make me feel better." I feel fucking sick and I want to vomit. I'm not going to finish my project, and let it be known that I don't even care anymore. I can't take it right now, I can't take any of it. I just keep feeling worse and worse. 

I give up.

I hate everyone and everything indiscriminately at the moment.

Now I'm just really furious with everyone and everything. Andy's making me feel worse, my sister is trying to make me feel better by making me eat but when you feel fat that is the LAST thing you want to do, my mom isn't making things better, when I looked at the prom pictures from last year I only felt worse seeing how fucking fat I looked, and my dad thinks this is just some fucking hilarious joke. 

I haven't been able to stop crying somebody help me

I HATE MY MOTHER RIGHT NOW

We went back to the shop where I found my two dresses, and it was wonderful! We were about to buy the one that my mom thought was cheaper (because she's a goddamn cheapskate who doesn't care about my personal happiness) when we find out that the dress was actually DOUBLE the price that we though it was (it was almost $500!!!!!!). This made it an automatic "no" from my mom, even when I offered to pay for half or more of it. Now she wants me to wear the dress I wore last year that makes me look SOOOOO fat and pale and unattractive and I'm really really really really fucking upset right now. I feel unattractive and like a fatass and I still have so much fucking schoolwork to do I want to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugggggggggggh

There's absolutely no way that I'm going to finish this project in time. It sucks, but that's life I guess.

I just got back from taking my cat to the vet! It went really well and very smoothly. My allergies have been really messed up by the whole situation, though. I can't stop sneezing and sniffling all over the place, I just want to be able to breathe through my nose again!!!!!

Good Morning!!!!

I'm up bright and early to put in work on my poetry project before we take my cat to the vet and before we go back to the store to determine which dress I'll get for Prom. I only have one analysis written, total... Neddless to say, I need to get on it!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodnight!!!!

Ugggggggggggggggggh Poetry.....

I've hardly gotten anywhere with my poetry project tonight! I managed to copy and paste some citations in to create little "Works Cited" pages, but I still have to write 15 analyses of 15 different poems, so I'm still going to die!!!!! I hardly did anything today but shop, so I really need to get down to business in general!

Yesterday and Today

Oh my goodness I've been busy shopping all over the place!!!!!! Yesterday's Prom dress shopping was fairly fruitful; I've narrowed it down to two options (both of which are gorgeous and I'm happy in) and then the Theater Senior Night was also very lovely. Hello, Dolly was alright, nothing to really write home about. It was pretty cute though! 

Today I went to the mall with my sister and we shopped til we dropped! I bought my first crop top, got a nice flannel shirt, a swim cover up, all kinds of cosmetics between Sephora and Ulta, underwear, tank tops, and boots so overall it's been pretty good!!!! 

I'm beyond tired out right now and have absolutely no motivation to work on my English poetry project. In fact, I feel a little sick just thinking about it, but that could have been something I ate today; who knows.

Good Morning!!!!

Today is about to be incredibly busy; I'm about to get ready to go to the Lacrosse scrimmage I'm training at, then I'm rolling out to go Prom dress shopping with Abby and one of our friends who I hardly ever talk about but adore to pieces, Kaela, then I'm heading over to school to see the school musical (Hello, Dolly!) and I'll be getting honored for my "services on the stage) along with all the other theater seniors. I'm pretty excited about that! I'm definitely looking forward to it all, although I'm still pretty worried as to if I can finish my English work on time this weekend. We'll see!

Goodnight!

I FINISHED DRACULA YAY PROGRESS

Uggggggh Somebody Shoot Me

On top of all of those things, I have to worry about my massive English project, finish reading Dracula (I'm close, thank goodness), do a math worksheet, teach myself about the endocrine system and prepare for an AP Bio test on Tuesday, and I need to get my shit together with this upcoming Video Production project. I need to improve my grade there. I at least got some points back today, but I don't think that overall I'll be at a 4.0 this quarter (for the first time ever) unless my religion teacher puts in the bonus points from the extra assignment I did and my AP Bio teacher does the same for me. Like I'm really nervous, my grade could be made or broken. I have too much to do this next week; I'm screwed.

3/20/15

I got home from Lacrosse practice not too long ago. It was uneventful, but apparently there was a fistfight at last night's practice (that I missed, of course).Today had a lot of ups and downs. Obviously, there was the down of my co-editor-in-chief not being fired. I'm incredibly angry about that, but more on that later! First, the good bits.

I had a horrible headache when I woke up this morning, and while I didn't want to go to school, today was the last day of the quarter so I couldn't really miss it. I instead slept in and only missed my first three classes of the day. It was just what I needed!!!!! I stopped at Panera on the way to school and picked up a salad and a bagel for my lunch, and that was pretty nice. When I got to school, I found out that despite her medical emergency, almost dying, and spending the night in the hospital yesterday, my co-editor (ugggh I hate calling her that) was once again back at school. This came as a shock to me because she really shouldn't have been at school at all, what with her leg and ALMOST FUCKING DYING, you'd think she'd choose to stay home. But noooooooo! 

I sort of drifted through my other classes, dreading the storm that I thought was coming at the end of the day. She wasn't in class for Newspaper, so I knew something was up. So, I asked the Staff Adviser, and she informed me that the co-editor was to be given a choice: to resign right then and there (which she would never do) or to continue on a probationary status, still keeping her position of authority, where the next time she screws up she's out no questions asked. There's absolutely no way that this girl would quit anything, especially Newspaper. She sees it as her job (which it isn't, it's a fucking high school paper and she makes the experience that should be fun and relatively carefree fucking miserable), and she's had it ingrained in her that quitting is one of the worst things you can do ever. And it's just as likely that she won't change her ways AT ALL and will still be bullying and stomping over everyone and anyone who gets in her way. Well, she can't really storm out of class anymore since she can't even walk thanks to her knee surgery. She hasn't changed all the other times she said she would, so why the fuck would she change now?!

I'm really angry and I feel left out of the decision that was made to give her this option. She hurts the class as a whole; nobody wants to work with her. When she came back, I was the only person that even so much as ACKNOWLEDGED her presence let alone was moderately nice to her. People are afraid of her, they don't respect her, and she doesn't give them a lot of reasons to do so. I am infuriated by the fact that school administration and our adviser chose to hurt everybody else and stifle their chances of growing in that class instead of giving this spoiled, selfish girl the wake-up call that she needs desperately.  This is only going to bite them in the ass in the end. God, it makes me want to quit the paper myself. I am beyond sick of her bullshit and the bullshit being thrust upon us now. I can't really quit either though; I already am taking a study hall and can't take two, and then if I quit, everyone would be scrambling on staff because I serve as the voice of reason and as the leader that actually teaches them, advises them, and helps them in a kind, caring, fruitful way as opposed to a cold, dictatorial "boss" who sees them as dog shit.

This turned into a Carmongeddon rant really quickly, but can you blame me?! When I found out that they decided to go ahead and fire her, I had never felt happier this year. I felt relieved, like a major weight had been taken off of my chest. Now I just feel stabbed in the back.

Carmongeddon,=: the Finale?

I'm high-key furious right now. She isn't getting fired. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.