1 AM AND STILL GOING STRONG

I'm like halfway done with my essay, a bit further on the quote reflections, and I annotated my book some more! (I initially stopped after the first 50 pages; I was annotating too much and it was distracting me.)

My dad told me it was bedtime... Dad I'm fully aware what time it is and YES I'm still gonna work on my homework!

I have no motivation whatsoever. I need to to be held at gunpoint to get anywhere with all of this homework. Honestly I'm saving some of my Honors Government homework to do on my lunch on the first day of school. That's how far this has gotten. Why must school be this stressful?

Welp, I still have a fair deal of writer's block! It was helpful to unwind a little bit, and having written the big things that were stressing me out was kinda therapeutic. Now I just have to persevere with the working...

Writer's Block Blogging

Ugggggh I have insane writer's block right now. It might just be stress getting in my way, cuz I am so so so so stressed, so I'm just gonna blog about all the things that are stressing me out and that might help. If not, I'll just take a bubble bath or something small to distract myself long enough to calm down. So here's the collective list of everything that's stressing me out, not necessarily in order:

• Andy's leaving and I feel like I've wasted so much time this summer that I didn't spend with him. 
• All of my summer homework. I feel bad about this all around because I put it off and kept getting distracted by travelling and then Andy. I feel like no matter what I do I'm not using my time as well as  I could be. I need two extras days each week. 
• Being in charge of the school newspaper. On the bright side, My co-editor said multiple times that she is glad to take on the brunt of the work since she has a very easy schedule, which helps, but I worry that it might be a lot for the both of us. And some kids on the staff aren't very reliable...
• The first week of school, in English alone there's so much work: the first day we have two essays due the next day. That's absolutely insane and I'm not ready for that mentally. The first semester alone is gonna kill me.
• I've been gain a lot of weight as a result of eating worse at work and not having much time to exercise. I feel really crappy about my health, especially since I started the summer off so well, heading to the gym every other day, eating well, doing pilates, walking the dog, and so on. I really screwed up there.
• Being a giant screw-up in general has really been getting to me,

Tomorrow is gonna be so rough. I'm gonna be getting up early to work on my quotation reflections, and then I need to pick up some cookies and chips and veggies for the newspaper staff meeting, then seeing Andy for the last time for at least a month. At first I was way more freaked out about him leaving; I thought I wasn't going to be able to see him until at least Thanksgiving when he comes home, but I'll be heading up to Cleveland for theater classes at least twice before that. I do a program through the Cleveland Playhouse Education group where me and other high schoolers from the area get to take two master theater classes, have a free lunch, then see a show for free every month during the school year. It's right next to Andy's dorm building, so I'll at least get to see him regularly! I'll still cry Thursday night when I leave him, even though I know it won't be that long. Letting go is just really really fucking scary.

269 words down, hella words to go!

8-20-14

Yesterday I made a huge mistake. I didn't work on any of my summer homework. Not even a little bit. I done goofed. And I'm only just starting to work on it now today. I'm so so so so so so so so screwed. I have tonight, early early early Thursday morning, Friday night, and Sunday. I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die...

Shoutout to my mom for taking my phone again.

I SPENT 10 MINUTES MAKING MY SNAPCHAT STORY ABOUT MY SUMMER WORK INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY WORKING ON MY SUMMER WORK SOMEBODY ARREST ME PLEASE

I'm not mentally ready for the next 3 months

Welp, two and a half assignments down, two and a half to go....

The highlight of yesterday was a new froyo bar opening in the mall. It was actually decently priced; I didn't even have to pay $5 and I had a ton of toppings! I've been dreaming about that froyo all day, I'm having really bad cravings for sweets, particularly of the cold and creamy variety.

8-17-14

I had a terrible setback in my summer work: last night I had a terrible migraine (courtesy of the screaming little beastly children at Famous Footwear) and laid in bed from 4:30 until I fell asleep. I feel much better today, so yay for that! I'm already halfway through my Honors Gov homework, which I thought would take much longer. I've been having a lot of writer's block with my English work, though. I really need to get that worked out because there is a stupid amount of work that needs done there and hardly enough time to do it!

It's been a crazy day of stuffing envelopes for this girl! On the bright side, I didn't have to go into work, which was great. I still haven't gotten much work done. Oops.

8-15-14

Cedar Point was a blast yesterday! The two rides that were put in since the last time I was there were closed, unfortunately, but Andy and I still got to do a lot and see a ton of stuff. My favorite ride there is Millennium Force. It's hands-down the best coaster on the continent. We waited a total of four hours for it, but it was 100% worth it all. We ate lunch at the Johnny Rocket's in the park. The fries were great and I had the thickest milkshake I've ever had in my life, but my burger was meh. It had a funny aftertaste. All in all, it was a really great day and I'd relive it over and over again if I could.

8-13-14

Today was a pretty sad day for me. It started off well; I met with my newspaper adviser and co-editor to discuss the paper, met Andy for lunch, and picked up my schedule for senior year. After that, my day went far downhill. As I looked over and analyzed my schedule, I realized that it was extremely hard. If I survive my first semester alone it'll be a minor miracle. So in order to not spread myself as thinly I have to quit my improv troupe for at least the first semester. Improv is my therapy and my fellow improvisers are my family, so this really breaks my heart. Plus Andy leaves for school in 10 days, and then I have all sorts of work left to do and I'm dying. On the bright side, he's taking me to Cedar Point tomorrow, so at least it'll be a nice day off.

8-12-14

I can hardly focus on the East of Eden reflections that I'm writing. I want to impress the teacher really badly with my analysis and writing prowess, but I feel like everything I've written sounds like "herpderpherpderpherpderp." I'm sure I'm just over-analyzing it, but I still don't want to make a bad impression.

Today I (finally) went to the gym. Yay for getting back on track!

I can hardly focus on my summer reading assignments, I'm just so so so tired.

Uggggggh I'm so so so so so so tired I've been up since 6:30...

I am hardcore craving bagels right now. All the bagels, it doesn't matter how many.

Sorry for not posting at all the past few days! Work has been wiping me out. On the bright side, I finished reading East of Eden!!!!!!!!!


Now I just have to do all the other stuff....

Chocolate Mud/Nutella Lava Microwave Dessert

After the shells, I was seriously craving chocolate. It was driving me crazy, and this was the only thing that could fix it! Look at it, in all of its glory!!!

Here's the recipe for this glorious chocolate desert:

• 1 oz. chocolate chips, or however many you feel like putting in. I usually just go off of my sight.
• 1 1/2 tbsp butter
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 1/2 beaten egg or 1 tbsp of "egg beaters"(pre-beaten eggs in a carton). That's what I typically use just because I'm not wasting half an egg and I save some time and dishes by not having to beat it.
• 1 tbsp all-purpose flour
• 2 tbsp Nutella (if desired)

To start, melt the chocolate chips and the butter in a microwave safe bowl or mug for 40 seconds, and then stir to make sure it is blended evenly and has a liquid consistency. Then, mix in the sugar, egg, and flour until you have a semi-thick batter. If adding Nutella, leave a dollop right in the middle of the mix: maybe push it down if you so feel like it. Microwave the dessert for 45 seconds to a minute, but don't go over a minute. Personally, I like mine a little muddier so I only cook it for 45 seconds. Remove from microwave and allow to cool for 3 minutes before serving.

Alternative: Mix the chocolatey dessert up so it gets the consistency of a mud cake. This is my favorite way to eat it.

I really enjoy this recipe because it's great in a pinch when you don't have a lot of time or energy but are still craving a warm and rich dessert.

Bacon Shells & Cheese pic