Welp, I finished only one of my homework assignments. This is rad. Really rad.

I have no motivation to tackle my mountain of work whatsoever and I ain't even mad

School is hard, screw it

I'm so tired right now. I give up on everything.

Good morning!

Today I'm gonna be very busy doing my homework. I have a ridiculous number of essays to complete/revise for English class, tests to study for, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I was supposed to go to Food Club tonight, but I just don't know if it will be possible. I hope I can, though! Today I also want to exercise in some way. While dress shopping yesterday, it really hit me how much weight I've gained since I got back from New York in July. I keep telling myself that I'll start once my schedule frees up, but if I don't start now it'll be so much harder for me to make any progress. Just starting with something small every day will help a lot to at least balance out my metabolism.

9/27/14

Yesterday was the giant game against our rival. It's where LeBron James went to high school. Usually he makes it out to the game, but not this year. For the first time in 8 years, we almost won. We started off excellently, leading well into the third quarter. Eventually, we went into triple overtime, which, after being humiliated year after year after year, is a big freaking deal. I don't even care about football that much, but it was just so insane!

Today I did door-to-door campaigning for my dad, which was hot and tiring and miserable. After that, my sister and I went homecoming dress shopping, which was stressful. In the end I found a dress that I liked and fit in, so thank goodness!

Mum Day

Every year before my school's football game with our rival, we are silent for the entire day. This has been going on for over 50 years, it's kind of a big deal. Last night, my class decorated the entire school and slept over. It was hard work, but it was a ton of fun and it was amazing to see it all come together. Also, a friend of mine asked me to homecoming and now I feel a lot better about all of that.

LORDE WAS PHENOMENAL OH MY GOODNESS I WISH THE CONCERT COULD'VE LASTED FOREVER!!!

Goodnight!!

Goodnight! I'll try to check in after the concert tomorrow night. It's gonna be really busy for me Thursday Friday and Saturday as well because Thursday night is the Senior Lock-In and Friday is Mum Day and the  game against our rival school.
I'll fill y'all in on what all of that means, probably with pictures, when I post next.

9/23/14

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile! It's been a very eventful past few days. I'll give you the long and short of it.

Saturday: I went up to Playhouse Square in Cleveland and did my acting classes with CPH College. It was a ton of fun. After that, I went and met up with Andy at Cleveland State. I was pleasantly surprised with the school, the campus was really nice! We watched the worst movie ever, Standing Ovation, on Netflix with his roommate/longtime BFF/my friend Matt and caught up. On the way out, I ran into a girl who I did community theater with in 8th grade! Ironically, she's dating one of his other roommates.

Sunday: I went to the first Food Club meeting at this adorable little Mexican restaurant called La Loma in Akron. It was very delicious, authentic, and cheap Mexican food.

Monday: It was an ehhh day. On the bright side, I had a really good French Vanilla Coolatta from Dunkin' Donuts in the morning, and I found a teacher willing to moderate Film Club!!!

Tuesday, today: The biggest part of the day is where I got asked to go to the Lorde concert tomorrow night, and needless to say I didn't pass that up!!!! I can't wait to go!!!!

I finished my government and some of my English homework!!!! Now I'm trying to read some of "The Knight's Tale" from The Canterbury Tales. The love interest's name is Emily, so every time I see that I always think "Awww geez, Geoffrey Chaucer.... Who knew that the most popular girl's name of the mid to late 1990's was just as popular in the mid to late 1390's?"

I just applied for a bunch of scholarships, go me!

9/19/14

Today was a lot better than yesterday. It went kinda slow and it had a lot of meh moments (a bazillion errors in the paper that EVERYBODY catches and makes fun of us for, more stupid stupid Homecoming proposals, getting gypped by Starbucks, and more), but as a whole it was fine. I'm pretty sure I did well on my AP Bio test, and that was the most difficult thing I've had to do today. Plus, I get to do fun theater shtuff and see Andy tomorrow, so yay!

I somehow survived this week, and if I keep my chin up I can survive next week. And the next week, and the next week, and the next week...

Goodnight

I'm calling it quits. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday and I get to see Andy on Saturday. I just need the week to end, I'm so so tired of everything.

On top of all that, I'm worried about getting film club back on its feet. Even though I don't have to go through the approval process again, the teacher who was the moderator doesn't have the time to moderate the club this year since he's doing other stuff and moderating a new club, so I have to try to find somebody interested in doing that. Plus, I haven't even brought this idea up to my parents yet. I'm sure they'll say yes since I quit the play, but I can never be positive. I really want to do this, because I desperately miss film club and I don't want it to die. It's the last piece of Andy I have at school, and I want to preserve it as best I can.

I have my first AP Bio test tomorrow and I'm pretty terrified. I may as well just kiss my GPA Goodbye for the rest of the semester. School is just getting to be too much.

Uggggggggggh I HATE DANCE PROPOSALS UNLESS THEY ARE HAPPENING TO ME MAKE THEM STOOOOPPPP

9/18/14

Or, why I hate School Dances

Today wasn't the best day for me. About ten gazillion people were asking each other to Homecoming, and it kept hitting me that that wouldn't be happening for me. Prom last year was already one dance too many for Andy, so I wouldn't want to put him through any more. We talked it through awhile ago, and he said that he'd be okay with me going with guy friends as dates to dances, so I was thinking that maybe something like that would happen this year. But nope! I want to go to Homecoming, but I don't want to go alone. It's a Catch-22 because my boyfriend doesn't want to go and would be happy if somebody asked me to go, but nobody is going to ask me to go because I have a boyfriend.

I just hate walking around and seeing all these cute and sweet things happening to my girlfriends and other girls at my school, and knowing that nothing like that is going to happen for me. The only reason that my boyfriend asked me to Prom in a cute way (He wrote me a series of notes and then made a playlist that spelled out PROM, I saw it coming from the first note but I let him go crazy with it!) was because everybody was bugging him about how he was going to ask me. When he told me that at the time, it really hurt my feelings because his heart really wasn't in the whole prom thing at all. Basically, that half-hearted asking is about as close as I'll get to the cute little things so many guys do.

It seems really trivial and stupid, I know, but I can't help but feel that way about all of the school dance business. I'm a hopeless romantic, and I love the little things like that, even if they "won't matter in the long run." It's the thought that counts, and it hurts a lot that nobody's thinking of me,

School dances for me have been disasters for me as a whole. No matter what dance I've been to, there's always been something wrong. Freshman year, my boyfriend was a dick and I didn't really like to dance during anything but slow songs so it was painfully awkward. Sophomore year was easily the worst. For Homecoming, I had been freshly dumped and my ex had brought a date from another school, and on top of that nobody asked me, AND the group of "friends" that I was planning on going with kicked me out because I didn't have a date. Needless to say, we aren't friends anymore. The winter formal was supposed to be better, but it was also awful. The weekend before the dance, after I bought my dress and the tickets and everything, the guy that I was dating dumped me over the phone and I was dateless. Being alone there was just too much for me, I was miserable at the dance and I spent most of it crying in the bathroom.  Junior year I didn't go to any of the dances besides Prom. It was ok, I didn't miss out on anything missing those dances. Prom was just a hassle with getting dressed and all the other fancy shtuff and we hardly did anything but eat and sit around at our table. Literally we sat the entire time and made fun of the music.

This year, I feel obligated to go to all the dances since it'll be the last time that I'll ever have to deal with dances ever, plus all my girlfriends are pressuring me to go. And I do want to; I love getting all dolled up and everything. I just don't want to go through it alone, because dances alone make me miserable.

I pretty much gave up on my Beowulf essay! I'll be at school so early tomorrow that I can finish it easily enough before school.

Even though I got a lot of rest today, I still feel really tired and bleh and sick. I just need to finish and tighten up this essay, then I'll be in good shape to get to bed. Hopefully early; my sister needs to get to school early so it's not really a late-start Thursday for this girl. I just want the week to end.

9/17/14

Today was easily the best day of the entire school year for me. My mom let me sleep in and go to school around lunchtime, I got Chipotle, did my nails, and finally finished the first issue of the newspaper and sent it to print. Newspaper was the only class I went to today, thanks to round 2 of the Revolutionary War Day. I wish every day was like today!

Goodnight!

I officially give up for the night! I got pretty far on my essay. I just have to finish one body paragraph and the conclusion, and then read through it and fix my errors and clumsier language. I'm pleased, but also beyond tired. Sleep tight!

Tomorrow is going to be a ratchet day for me- glasses, no shower, hair up, no jewelry, minimal makeup, sleeping in a lot. I NEED IT!!!!! I have to get better by Saturday when I go up to Cleveland and visit Andy and do my workshops. If I get as much done as possible now, I can get to bed super early tomorrow night. I'm talking like, 9:00ish. That's be a miracle.

It's kinda sad that I've reached a point in my life where getting to bed early is a dream come true, literally. This must be what getting old feels like.

The math wasn't too painful. Now back to the essay...

I have to step away from my English essay to work on my math and other homework. I really should have done what I could last night, but I was just too lazy... I have to get better about that.