In better news....

Earlier this morning I sent in a submission to DePaul's comedy magazine, Detour, and they've already gotten back to me! I now have to answer some questions and then write up two articles based on the pitches I sent in for my submission. For our submission, we had to create 10 headlines that could be on "The Onion" and some feature ideas. These were my headlines:

1. 8-year-old girl gets "pretty full of herself" after beating leukemia
2. Young man goes vegan for two hours after watching documentary on food industry
3. New Thai-Fusion restaurant just "eh" according to local hipster
4. Socially inept man responds "you too" when wished a happy birthday
5. New dating app includes feature that identifies which matches are most likely serial killers
6. Woman disappointed after hiring handyman from Craigslist, expected to "at least be kidnapped or something"
7. No one surprised when ghost-hunting reality show revealed as a fraud
8. Local man decides he looks cool wearing sunglasses at night
9. 30 things better than your Buzzfeed list
10. Newly orphaned child consoled by that fact that he's only a few billion dollars away from being Batman

My feature ideas weren't as good, but my best one was for a column: "Rachel Dolezal has inspired my transition into a Native American woman"

Hopefully something good comes from this! I'd really love it.