3/2/15

Today was a solid day! Nothing really out of the ordinary happened, but on the bright side I:

1. Didn't completely bomb my AP Stats test like I had expected to! I actually thought it was incredibly easy, so that was really really wonderful.
2. I don't have any homework to do tonight, so I can work out and stuff! (Which is amazing because I was a horrible eater today....)

I'm a little bit concerned about Video Production, though. My group (as in one other girl and I) has really limited resources and manpower. And half the time she isn't there and she's the one with the camera! Our schedules are both very different, so typically she has to do all the filming. However, she always does it with the wrong angle or doesn't follow the storyboards so we don't get the footage we need. Like our last project was one of the worst grades I've ever gotten in that class because there was hardly any footage involved with it because she didn't film half the things we outlined in our storyboard. My grade in that class is starting to suffer because of it, and it annoys me a lot.

I end up doing all the work editing, writing the scripts, doing the storyboards, and so on which is also annoying since I'm putting in all this effort for a meh product. Like I really love this girl as a person, but as a creative partner, not at all. Now, I'm going to have to find an entire cast for our next video because there's no way that we can pull off a fantasy-noir film with just the two of us. And what's worse is we don't have any time to film outside of school this week and it's obnoxious....

Goodnight!!!!

Pet Peeve: Elitist Attitudes

Okay, so there aren't many things that make my skin crawl, but I absolutely despise when people walk around believing themselves to be better than everybody else in the room because they're taking an advanced course/received a scholarship/got some fancy award or title/are doing something cool in their spare time. I don't have any problem with people doing those things and getting those achievements and opportunities, however when people nonchalantly brag about it or look down on those who don't meet the same/similar standards that they have managed to set for themselves. 

I see this constantly on the DePaul Facebook page. As excited as I am to meet many of these people and to establish new ties and create lasting friendships, I HATE seeing people bragging about getting a scholarship or an interview or doing the honors program or whatever. I'm envious, obviously, but the fact that they flaunt their successes in the face of hundred's of others' failures disgusts me. Like I just read through a comment thread on a post asking "who all is doing the Honors Program next year LOL?" and uggggggggggggggggggggh people!!!!!

Sample comments included people comparing ACT/SAT test scores, passive-aggressive comments insulting the book choices of their fellow students while presenting him or herself as the paragon of literary taste, commenting on housing and their desire to "stay away from all the rowdiness outside of the Honors floor," etc. 

Like come ON, you shouldn't have to compare your test scores like dick sizes to try to see who's the biggest. 

My dad was incredibly set on me joining the Honors Program at DePaul, but this would in no way be the best choice for me because:

1. None of the classes in the Honors curriculum pertain to my career goals or involved skills that I've already learned/have mastery of.
2. If I did the Honors college, I would not be able to use the credits I've earned from my AP exams to get me out of my GenEd courses, which would slow down my career path.
3. There's no way I'd want to sit in a room with those people and attempt to hold a discussion, since they're so obviously full of themselves.

Thankfully, my mother was the voice of reason in this issue and was able to get my dad to lay off.

Another hazardous thing of this sort of attitude is a heightened ability to not emphasize with others. When you think you're better than everybody else, what's the point in even bothering to help other people when they need it? 

It's hard to put the feeling into words, but overall it annoys/angers me a lot.

My nostrils are going insaaaaaane I hate my allergies!!!!!

Ugggggggggggh my allergies are destroying me....

Oh dear...

So I definitely have an AP Stats quiz tomorrow, and I am not at all ready for it... Literally I am so so sooooo screwed. I don't understand what we're doing at all and that makes me incredibly nervous. I was just starting to do pretty well in that class, too! I just don't know what I'm doing anymore... I think I'll go in early tomorrow morning to try to go over some of the things that perplex me in this chapter, and hopefully that'll help out some. I really don't want my grades to drop again.

Last Night/Today

I've been gone for over 24 hours, oh my goodness! I've been plenty busy though, and overall it's been a ton of fun!

Last night was every bit as fun as I imagined! Dylan and I went and got Italian food for dinner, and overall the meal was fantastic! I had this pasta dish with fettuccine pasta, chicken, spinach, and light Alfredo sauce, and Dylan got this fantastic tilapia dish with roasted vegetables! After that, we drove over to school for the dance.

There weren't nearly as many people at Winter Formal as there typically are at Homecoming, but there were still many more people than usual there. Y'all remember how worried I was about the whole "homecoming queen and my ex-boyfriend going together" thing? Weeeeelll it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought! Not to sound too braggy, but she has nothing on me. She was pretty, but not quite as pretty as me. She was very nice, but she didn't have nearly as much of a personality as I did. She hardly danced, she barely looked at my ex, and overall seemed kinda "stiff" for lack of a better word. I wish them the best, but now it doesn't seem like NEARLY as much of an upgrade as I thought it was.

Overall, I had a fabulous time with my friends and it was pretty wonderful! We had cotton candy and took some fantastic photo booth pictures and danced like crazy even though we can't dance for shit. It's all about having fun though, so what does it matter how adept a dancer anyone is?

After the dance, I went with Dylan and Abby to Steak & Shake. I had my usual Royale steakburger and tried a new milkshake that has quickly become my new favorite- Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Our other "fam" member Tony came in by coincidence and ate with us as well! Tony is hardly ever able to hang out with all of us at once, so it was really wonderful to have the whole gang together. 

After Steak & Shake, I dropped Dylan off and drove to Abby's house to spend the night. I watched Clueless with her and her older sister before we all went to bed. Her mom was somewhere else for the night, and I had no idea! Abby has a ton of adorable animals at her house, which while enjoyable, made my allergies miserable and kinda messed up my sleep schedule. Her two cats insisted upon sleeping with me, and I was frequently woken up by the kitties! At one point, I woke up and one was on my face and the other was on my chest! Ever since, I've been sniffling and sneezing up a storm.

In the morning, Abby made pancakes which were DELICIOUS and she, her sister, and I worked on shoveling their driveway/brushing off the snow on my car so that we could make a run to Target to pick up hair dye. When we returned from Target, we dyed Abby's hair dark brown (kinda like mine) in their kitchen. Then, Abby's mom and her boyfriend brought home Panera for us for brunch, and I had a fantastic Asiago Cheese bagel! After that, I drove home.

I've basically been doing homework/chores since I got home, it's been pretty relaxed. Overall, this weekend has been fantastic and I would relive it again and again if I could!

GAHHHH TIME

It just hit me that tomorrow is March 1st AHHHHHHHHHHHH TIME IS FLYING INCREDIBLY QUICKLY AND I HARDLY HAVE A HANDLE ON IT LET ALONE ON MYSELF AHHHHHHHHHHHHH GROWING UP IS SCARY LIKE I GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL IN MAY LIKE OH MY GOODNESS THEN I'M GOING TO BE IN COLLEGE LIKE WHAT IS THIS OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've spent the last several  hours getting ready and I'm completely okay with that! I can't complain, I love getting prettied up and whatnot.

Winter Formal Today

Tonight is Winter Formal and I'm pretty excited! Dylan and I are getting dinner at this Italian restaurant in Akron, and then after the dance, Dylan, Abby, and I are going to Steak and Shake for glorious munchies food. Then, I'm sleeping over at Abby's house, so I'm definitely looking forward to tonight! I think I might be more excited for everything after the dance than the actual dance itself, but that's okay!

Goodnight!!!!

Oops I just watched two documentaries and four episodes of 30 Rock and it's already "tomorrow" oops!!!!

Thankfully, my package of LUSH bath bombs came in the mail today, so you can bet your ass that I took a luxurious bubble bath after my lengthy nap! It was pretty wonderful!

*sigh* I want to change myself a lot...

Depending on how long you've read my blog, you know that I have all sorts of plans to change my body and improve it drastically. While I struggle with that aspect of myself, there are a lot of other things I want to change/improve about myself. One of which, is becoming more financially independent and splurging less.

I'm a terrible impulse buyer, and since I'm hardly working anymore, this is a very dangerous habit for me to have and one I desperately need to break before I get into college. I'm not too sure how to do that other than to abstain from things I don't normally use/need. Like the whole camera thing from earlier in the week! I don't necessarily need a camera right now as my Video Production teacher got rigs for the iPads with lenses to improve image quality and microphones to help with sound. Because of this, I don't really need a camera until at least next year. I'm now planning on waiting until the Christmas of my sophomore year in college to ask for a nice, DSLR camera from all of my family members pooling together money. I'd prefer it to clothes, as I prefer to pick those sorts of things out myself.

Then, there's the whole job thing... I'm pretty nervous about that. I want to get a part time job doing something with retail while I'm at DePaul, whether this involves working on campus at the bookstore or working in the many shops and boutiques in the surrounding area. For instance, there's a Famous Footwear just a short walk/10-minute bus ride from the Lincoln Park campus! Then there are also other stores nearby that I enjoy or could see myself working at. All I want is a steady paycheck so that I can build up my savings account at home for and have an incredibly solid checking account overall. Like my sister, who's a year younger than me, has had her job steadily since the summer (unlike the on-off stuff that I've been putting up with) and even though she gets pretty small paychecks, she has saved up to the point where there are over $800 in her checking account and even more on the side from allowance and tips! The only steady income I have is a $20 allowance that doesn't even come every week... 

Guess whose father ruined EVERYTHING?!

THIS GIRL'S!!!!!!!!!! You remember how I was worried that he'd call the school and lead to the boycotting of Spring Awakening for everybody (which was a long shot) but doubted that anything would come of it, even if he contacted the school? Well everything that I thought could go wrong did and then some!

He not only emailed the principal last night, he called this morning to ensure that his email was read! I went in to visit my director "K" before school started to warn him of any impending calls from my father, and he told me that not only did my dad contact the school, K was about to meet with the principal to discuss the whole thing!

At the end of the day, we were all emailed a copy of a letter from the principal detailing the fact that we would not be allowed to see Spring Awakening. I'm soooooo glad my dad ruined that experience for everybody, and that my friend won't have anyone in the audience there to cheer him on!!!!! I feel FABULOUS!!!!!! 

And the worst part is is that this entire thing is all his fault. I hope he's really fucking happy with himself!!!! I've had my issues with my dad before, but this is the last straw for me. I don't even want to talk to him. I genuinely mean it when I say that I look forward to the day when I'm completely comfortable and financially independent and can cut him out of my life. That probably won't be until I'm at least thirty, so I've got twelve years to go, now...

Goodnight!

Hopefully things will sort themselves out with the musical thing. Fingers crossed.

I could probably write a series of novels on my relationship with my dad.

I mean if movie-making doesn't work out, I can always write that fantastic tell-all memoir and do some stand-up comedy on the side.

Uggggggggh Rough Seas Ahead

So in late March, my school's theater program is heading down to Columbus for the State Theater Conference. We do this every year, and it's always been a pretty positive experience. Well, until today.

One of the major portions of the State Conference is the presentation of the All-Ohio show. Essentially, All-Ohio takes the best and brightest actors and actresses, stage managers, crew members, and techies from across the state of Ohio and they all put together a show. The show alternates between a musical and a play. This year, it's a musical, and that musical is Spring Awakening. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the musical, it's a very beautiful show that explores the drama and trauma of puberty, bildungsroman (coming of age), and teen angst. It tackles a lot of typically taboo topics like sexuality, masturbation, sex, abortion, suicide, and sexual abuse. I have absolutely no problems with the show, and think that it's fantastic, beautiful, and overall spectacular. In fact, my friend Luke is in it! However, my DAD has a problem.

Part of the deal with Spring Awakening is that our parents had to sign a consent form for us to see the show, regardless of if we are of legal age or not, since it covers such sensitive themes. My mom and I, over a month ago, signed and turned in the consent form, and we thought that that would be the end of it. But alas, my troupe director Mr. K sent out an email to all students and ALL parents, both mothers and fathers of all the kids going, to inform them of the show, and needless to say, my ultra-conservative dad took great offense to it. 

Tonight, my mom, dad, and I had a talk (which really was my dad yelling and blustering through half-sentences-half-slurs and cussing up a storm) about the show. My dad's main point, hidden behind his clumsy, angry words, was that a Catholic high school like mine should have opted to boycott this particular show and should reserve the right for the department that sets up these shows to select shows that do not offend the beliefs of a particular audience, but are shows that every person in the theater can get behind and enjoy. While I stand behind this thought, I don't think censoring a theater conference is going to do very much or go over very well. The biggest problem I had with my dad's tirade was the insults he gave to my theater program, Mr. K, my school's principal, my friend in the show and his parents, and another completely unrelated girl who graduated but played nearly every lead role in the productions at school. (The last girl is a whole other story, my parents hate her because they feel like she kept me from getting good roles but it is what it is, and she's very talented and did a good job with the roles, even if she was never kind to me,)

My dad announced his plans to call my school principal and attempt to shame her for "not having the balls to eiorbewouiafioabfowa!" It's funny because my principal is a woman. Then, he called Mr. K, one of my favorite teachers and an adult I trust considerably more than him, a "namby-pamby who was trying to indoctrinate us theater kids with goddmaned liberal ideas." That's also funny because Mr. K teaches religious studies at me school, and is hands down the best religion teacher there. Then, he insulted my friend for "wanting to go up and do a masturbation and then do some suiciding on the stage" and his parents for allowing him to take part in such a "vile theater-concert." This made me incredibly angry, because my friend Luke is an incredibly talented performer, and performing in an All-Ohio production is something to be extremely proud of regardless of which show it is, AND because his mother was my pediatric dentist and my dad just threw her under the bus. Then, with the other girl, my dad referenced her endless appearances onstage at almost any event at my school, whether singing the National Anthem, performing "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes before football games, dancing with the dance team during the halftime shows, or all of the above and said that "she may has well have been doing a masturbation, too!"

That was all just too damn much. I can hardly stand my father and his endless desire to protect the innocence that I don't have and lost years ago (no thanks to him) as well as his need to impress his extreme conservative views that we see daily in his Bill O'Reilly-adoring, FOX News-consuming, offensive email-readings, and more. I am who I am, and he still hasn't learned that and he probably never will. I do my best to put up with him and appease him, because I know I can never get him to learn so I shouldn't even waste my time with that, but there comes a point where the line needs to be drawn.

If you haven't guessed by now, I don't have a great relationship with my dad, and our ideological differences only split us apart further and further. It makes me sad, really, but I know that I'm helpless against it, because I can't change, and I doubt that he can either.

Also, I'm super pumped that I won't be going with the group that had my ex, the homecoming queen, a guy who annoys the bejeezus out of me, and two girls I've never met before to the dance because they "weren't able to change the reservations at thee last second." Really, I'm excited! I only would have had Dylan, Abby, and then only one friend to talk to while I was there!

Evening Adventure

I took my dog to the vet earlier to get the sutures from her surgeries removed, and we had a grand old time together! She was a brave doge at the vet's office, and on both of our car rides we had a really fun time. We discovered that her favorite songs are "Fergilicious" and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," and we had a really cute singing and dancing party that featured me almost driving into our local bank since she kept trying to stick her head into my armpits. It was really really precious!

Blehhhh I'm so so soooo tired now....

2/26/15

Today was, for the most part, uneventful. The only (incredibly ironic) thing that happened to me was finding out that the group that Dylan arranged for us to get pictures and dinner with before Winter Formal was the group that my ex and the lovely homecoming queen are in! ISN'T THAT SO FREAKING FUN, GUYS?!

Goodnight!!!!!!

I'M SO PUMPED RIGHT NOW I COULD PUNCH A BEAR IN ITS BEAR FACE!!!!

So...

So if that means drinking nothing but lemon water the next three days, so be it! If that means exercising for a solid hour and a half each day, so be it! If that means skipping breakfast, fine! The point is, I'm about to lose some weight, tone my body up, and then have a great time with it!

I mean I need to start really losing weight since spring break (and therefore, ARUBA) is in about a month for me! I was doing pretty great before I hurt my ankle, and now that it's basically back to normal I really need to make sure that I'm getting myself back on track. My goal this weekend is to weigh myself on Sunday, and I want to weigh about the same amount that I did before my ankle was injured, give or take 0.3 lbs.