Last night, I had a little bit of a breakdown. I just cried and cried and cried, and I was feeling really empty inside. I didn't know who to turn to, but my friend from school, Alex, told me that I should try to write down and record the good things that happen to me and the bright spots in every day, that way I can try to fight my pessimism in a more hands-on fashion and have something I can look at on the really bad days. So, today was my first try at getting things right, or at least better.
- First, I had a really nice outfit today and a pretty good hair day. I felt pretty good about my appearance for the first time since I got home. I was wearing some new shoes that I bought on Black Friday when my mom and sister made me join them, and overall I felt really put together. That helped me find some confidence when I went job hunting today.
- The weather was really gorgeous. It was pretty chilly, but the sky was a beautiful shade of blue and it made the browns in the landscape stand out and shine more.
- I went on a nice, long drive with some new music. Nothing beats joyriding. I had to run errands, but I honestly love doing that since I can get out of the house more often. One of my errands was to pick up some books at the library for my mom, so while I was there I decided to peruse the music section. I checked out Arcade Fire's Reflektor, Bon Iver's Bon Iver, Arctic Monkeys' Suck it and See, Carly Rae Jepsen's E.MO.TION, and The Black Keys' Turn Blue.
- E.MO.TION was FUCKING AWESOME! I have never been a Carly Rae Jepsen fan, and Call Me Maybe disgusted me so I was very skeptical about picking up the album. However, my friends Simon and Jimmy, both musicians (Simon also is a music critic and a junior editor for the blog Heavy Blog is Heavy) vetted for it, saying it was some of the best pop they've heard in years. It put me in a really good mood while driving all over the place.
- On my joyride, I visited my former favorite place and in the process discovered a new one (maybe). Whenever I was driving and had time to spare and didn't want to be alone, I would go into this abandoned house in this cornfield not too far away from my neighborhood. It was really peaceful, and nobody was ever around. I went back there during my joyride only to discover that it has, for the most part, completely caved in. I was upset at first, but I still could appreciate its beauty. I took a different road to run errands, and in doing this I stumbled upon what may be my new favorite spot.
