Dorm "Essentials"? SOS

So one thing I've been working on lately has been finding supplies and decor for my dorm room at DePaul. I'm incredibly excited for college, and I'm unbelievably stoked to move someplace new! However, It's very hard to tell if I will really need everything that's considered an essential.

For instance, one thing my school had on their list was dishes, dish towels, and silverware. Like if you live in an apartment-style housing unit, that makes sense since you'd probably be doing some of your own cooking! In a dorm however, not so much. Especially since we are only allowed to have a microwave, Keurig, and mini-fridge. Like they have community kitchens on every floor for when you just have to bake, or cannot stand meal-plan food any longer, but would I really need to bring all sorts of utensils and plates and the like?

Storage is one thing that I'm not too sure about. I've seen what a dorm in my building looks like, and they're pretty spacious! Being a hoarder of pretty much everything though, I know I'll need to find ways to make the most of that space, though. The thing is, I don't want to have too much storage to the point where it becomes unnecessary. 

I'm worried that I may go overboard with decor, as well. Like I'm dying to get a tapestry from DENY Designs (THEY ARE SO COOL!!!) but they're all $50, just for a 4 foot by 5 foot tapestry. The larger ones cost $70.... I don't know if I wanna spend that much, you know? In addition to that, I have like a bazillion pictures that I have to display SOMEHOW but I don't wanna take up too much space. I definitely need to look into some other options. Like I have this great magnetic chain thing, but that only handles so many of my priceless memories! I may try using a cork board, and using paper clips with tacks. I'm not too sure yet.

Like this is stressful! Moving into my college dorm is my first foray into adulthood, and I'm terribly ill-prepared! 

Trolling Christians for Funsies got me feeling Introspective

I'm changing my major to "fighting strangers on the internet" and I'm going to get a doctorate in reading bitches for filth in 140 characters or less.

I've been dragging people who have made incredibly homophobic tweets under the #JesusWins tag on twitter. It's a response to the #LoveWins tag that came out when gay marriage was legalized nationwide. Some of the responses are kind, like "Love won 2,000 years ago when my savior died for me," but others are like "Leviticus 420:69 homos are an ABOMINATION and need to DIE" like I know my fair share about Christianity from attending Catholic school since I was 7 and attending Vacation Bible School many summers when I was little and I know that no kind, loving god would wish death upon somebody no matter what they did.

It's people like this that make me incredibly glad that I'm leaving organized religion behind. Faith is great, it's beautiful and if you have a faith you deserve every right to practice it! However, sometimes people hold onto their faith so strongly they refuse to let other people believe in their respective faiths.Using religion as an excuse for hate is a real abomination, not worshiping in a different manner, loving someone of the same sex, etc. 

I don't know if I'll ever find faith again, but I don't think I will until I find something loving and accepting of all.

Summertime Sadness

Not only is that one of the catchiest Lana Del Rey songs, but it's how I'm feeling now...

My sister is gone until next week, my boyfriend is in Canada, all my friends are busy/live far away, and I don't have a job (STILL!) so I'm bored as heck, and frankly I'm living a purposeless existence. 

I really doubt that I'll get hired anywhere at this point. Who wants somebody who's leaving in a month? NOBODY. I haven't had any luck whatsoever with Care.com jobs, I keep applying but nobody is getting back to me. Like come ON I spent $9 on a background check for this?!

It's just so frustrating, and it's even harder to put on a brave face and be hopeful about what the next day is bringing.

Oh lord, yesterday was wild...

Yesterday was incredibly eventful for me! In the morning, I found out that I made it onto DePaul's comedy magazine so I'm incredibly happy about that! Then, I went on the tour de grad parties and that was quite the adventure...

I was invited to five grad parties yesterday and I only attended four of them. The first three I went to were very tame, but the last one was not. There was a lot of drinking- the only people completely sober were the hostess's little cousins. I only had one wine cooler- I didn't want to look like a prude. I wasn't really having any fun though. None of my friends were there and I didn't really know anybody who was partying that well. So, around midnight I went to a couch away from the fray and went to sleep with a few other people. 

Around 2 AM, all hell broke loose. The hostesses dad is a very mean, angry drunk, and with all the noise downstairs he was completely enraged. He and the hostess were in a shouting match for about half an hour, then he went on a rampage kicking everybody out. I was scared and didn't want to be there the next morning, so I grabbed my purse and went to my car. The other partiers were pretty drunk, but none of them were about to go on the roads. Some of them walked to a different party in an adjacent neighborhood, others got driven home by the hostess's older brother, and some just pretended they were asleep and decided to wait it out until they were sober and could drive home. 

I really hope that everyone got home safe, and I think I'm gonna be avoiding large, wild parties for quite some time!

GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL IN THE UNITED STATES

REMEMBER JUNE 26TH, 2015 AS THE DAY THAT EVERY MAN AND WOMAN ACROSS THE NATION, WHETHER THEY ARE CIS OR TRANS OR NONBINARY, COULD FINALLY MARRY WHO THEY LOVE!

Words cannot describe how happy I am that this has happened! The majority of my friends are members of the LGBTQA Community, and knowing that they can finally have the marriage rights they deserve and finally get married unhindered fills me with so much joy. 

Check out my Care.com profile... Pleeeeeease?

If you wanna give my Care.com profile a look, here it is!

Care.com Update

So I decided to pay for a backup check on Care.com! It was only a preliminary one, but I don't really need to go the whole nine yards for the $60 one! I have no record, so that would be a waste of money. Hopefully having the background check will give some more incentive for people to hire me. Pet sitting is a job I adore doing, so I really want things to work out here! Just to get one or two calls from these families would be miraculous for me!

I'm also going to ask my neighbor, who I've pet-sat for before, to write a review for my profile and to rate me, and if I can put her down as a reference. Doing that would be greatly beneficial in getting me some jobs lined up, and I'm sure she'd say yes!

Ohhh I really hope this works! I need everything I can get right now.

Best Online Money-Making Methods(so far)

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you're probably very aware of my lack of a job and my broke-ness! I've been doing my best to apply to places but haven't had much luck, so I've had to look into a lot of alternative methods of earning money. Thank goodness for the internet, am I right?! Some of them have been super helpful, others I'm still working out the kinks.

1. InboxDollars

I joined InboxDollars back in February when I found it on a scholarship website. It's been hands-down my best site! I've earned $50, by doing a variety of things. It has numerous ways to earn. You can earn money through reading email, using their search engine, doing surveys, completing offers, playing games, etc. They also have tons of sweepstakes and give prizes for doing surveys! It also has connections to other similar rewards sites. Small disclaimer: there is a $3 processing fee for payments (because they send checks), but they are looking into additional methods of payment like InboxDollar credit/debit cards, PayPal, and so on. You do get a $5 bonus for signing up and can earn around $10 in the first week, so check it out if it seems right for you!   

 2.Survey Spot

I only recently joined Survey Spot, but I like it a lot! It's hardly taken any time to earn, and they have a variety of payment options including PayPal, iTunes, Amazon cards, or airline miles! Their surveys aren't terribly time consuming, and I haven't had a single issue with it!

 3. MySurvey 
I have been on MySurvey for a little while now, and while it isn't the fastest way to rack up rewards points and cash (there never seem to be many surveys for me to take) it still has been useful for me! MySurvey, similar to Survey Spot, has multiple forms of rewards to redeem for their points including PayPal cash and gift cards to all sorts of stores including Amazon.com and Macy's. 

To be honest, that's about it! I haven't had much luck with some sites, but I'm always looking. I'll update this post from time to time when I find a new site that works great!

The Power of Taylor Swift

When I was in 6th grade, Taylor Swift's first single, "Teardrops on my Guitar" was released. I didn't know it then, but she was quickly becoming the most powerful pop singer in the world. Now, fresh off of kicking Apple into submission with this tumblr post, she is more powerful than ever. Never before has an artist had so much ability to make and break corporations, and it's really quite formidable. However, is it really right for one person, no matter who they are, to have that immense power?

One of Swifts claims to fame is the way she treats her fans: with kindness, generosity, and with genuine love. In the past year alone, Swift has had cookie-eating parties with fans, donated to fans in need, written blog posts of support for those going through boy troubles on her blog, and even showed up to a fan's wedding at one of her concerts. All of that is practically unthinkable, and in doing that Taylor has created a devout following for herself. 

Despite her wonderful treatment of fans, she does not treat others the same way. One English freelance photographer, Jason Sheldon, revealed in this post the hypocrisy in her demands from music companies and the image contracts photographers must sign in order to cover her tour. In addition, her legal team has cracked down on Etsy stores that featured fan-made items using her lyrics/likeness. It can be argued that these people are "leeching off her fame" to make some money for themselves, but hey, they have to live too! As someone who is broke as it gets and is constantly looking for a way to raise money so I can get by, I can understand their struggle and the difficulty of having these sorts of opportunities taken from them.

This year, Swift is bigger than ever and she only keeps going up. However, nobody knows what the future holds or if these allegations will cause any issues in the future. 

Ugggggggh I'm going to vomit- my parents made me apply to work at a gas station chain. I actually don't want to be hired if that's my job. There's no place more dangerous for an 18 year old girl to work than at gas stations, especially late at night. God I hope I don't get hired....

Tired of Hunting

I've gotten nothing back from every place that I've tried. I haven't gotten a single reply to my applications on Care.com. I'm not getting anywhere and it's exasperating. I don't know what to do, I don't know where to turn... I keep doing my survey rewards programs like InboxDollars but I haven't cashed in any of it yet. I could right now if I wanted to with InboxDollars, but I wanna wait that out until I get $50 even for a check.

I'm sick of hunting, I'm sick of running errands while waiting patiently for my phone to ring. I'm sick of it all.

AHHHH I GOT A ROOM RESERVATION FOR DEPAUL HOUSING YAY!!!!!

Final Submission piece!!!

Here's my last article!!!

Socially inept man responds “you too” when wished happy birthday

Local bumbling failure Greg Saxton, 31, was once again horrendously mortified by his inadequacy when he said “you too” to the Applebee's waitress wishing him a happy birthday during a celebration with coworkers. This is not the first time Saxton has completely and utterly embarrassed himself in this manner.

“What a fucking idiot,” Saxton imagines the waitress saying to her coworkers.

After the gaffe, Saxton quickly returned to his apartment where he lives completely alone, blasted some Alanis Morisette, stress-ate Rocky Road ice cream, and drank himself senseless until he fell asleep half naked in his bathtub.

When asked about the incident, waitress Brittany Rhoades, 22, said “Who? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Saxton is not expected to return to the public sphere in the next two weeks.

Comedy Magazine Update

I've finished two of my articles!!!! I have one more to go and then I can turn in my submission. Here are the two I've finished!

Woman disappointed after hiring handyman off Craigslist; hoped to “at least be kidnapped or something”

Mary Pollich, 30, of Braddyville, Iowa was left unsatisfied after a Craigslist encounter left her home in the best shape it’s been in for months.

“After reading about the Craigslist Killers in Ohio, I was intrigued,” Pollich wistfully said. “Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to be kidnapped  or maybe murdered by a complete stranger.” According to her closest neighbors in the next town over, Pollich always “lived on the edge.”

Taking her fate into her own hands, Pollich turned to the source herself, posting ad after ad trying to find just the type of person she was looking for, yet time after time the candidate was never “creepy enough” for her tastes.

“I was incredibly hopeful at first when this huge guy knocked on my door, I knew my time had come,” Pollich says of the incident. “Like COME ON he had a ponytail and a lazy eye, that just screams ‘I’m gonna trap you in a pit in my basement!”

Pollich had taken every possible precaution to ensure the results she wanted- she lived alone, moved out to isolated Braddyville from Cedar Rapids, and cut off almost all contact with the outside world. Nevertheless, she was sorely disappointed when Craigslist user pussyslayyyer_69 fixed her leaky faucet and removed a hamster-sized ball of hair from her shower drain, taking off in his windowless white van after receiving payment.

Despite her initial failure, Polich remains hopeful that her Stockholm Syndrome fantasies will be realized. “Next time I’ll just have to try the Personals.”

Rachel Dolezal has inspired my transition into a Native American woman

I’ve always been a staunch admirer of Native American culture. My favorite sports teams are the Cleveland Indians, Chicago Blackhawks, and the Washington Redskins; I collect dreamcatchers, have a Pinterest board devoted to Sitting Bull quotes, have “passed around the peace pipe, ”and dammit if I don’t love a good pair of tribal print leggings! But never before these last few weeks did it occur to me that maybe this admiration was something more until I saw Rachel Dolezal on the news. In her, I saw a woman who took what she wanted and lived as she pleased; she gave me the courage to look inside myself and find out who I truly am. So without any reservations (pun intended), I am proud to announce that I identify as a Native American woman.

I know what you’re thinking, “who are these white chicks who think they can just go around appropriating cultures like it’s a fucking game?!” Let me answer that question with another question: how do you know that I’m really white? Even though I’m 30% Irish, 15% German, 12% Scottish, 4.6 % Czech, and 28% Mayonnaise, I feel like I’m at least 0.2% Cherokee in there somewhere. Or maybe Sioux! WHO CARES!

Also, let the records show that this is not a phase- it’s who I am! In preschool, I would color my self-portraits in with the red crayon instead of the peach crayon (although that’s probably because Jimmy Cluse ate the peach crayon and it was the best substitute I had because I sure as hell wouldn’t use the orange crayon! I’m not about to appropriate Oompa Loompa culture!).

If Dolezal can lead the NAACP of Spokane, who’s to say that I can’t become a tribal princess in my own right?

I hold this culture- my culture- in the highest regard. Why else would I do so much to support it? Like that time on my family’s road trip to Arizona where I bought a bracelet from a woman on the side of the road. Or when I told off people who tried to call my high school’s mascot, Brave the Injun, offensive. Keeping this inside of me has been my own personal trail of tears.

This is me; I am proud of my brave transition. Now, I can walk into Coachella 2016 or Burning Man 2016 with pride as I wear my feather headdress because I know, in my heart of hearts, that I earned every single feather there (although not by scalping anybody or whatever).

The Job Hunt Continues....

Well, I've taken a few steps now to hopefully attain employment! 

I created a profile with Care.com last night and applied for several pet-sitting jobs, so hopefully that'll help a bit! Care.com is basically an Angie's List for people who like to look after and help others. You can use it to find babysitters, nannies, caretakers, pet/house-sitters, or just somebody to run your errands when you aren't able to. I like it a lot so far; it's easy to use and I'm happy with the jobs that I've applied for so far, plus it's something I could continue doing while I'm at DePaul. Hopefully I'll be able to line up an opportunity or two before I move to Chicago to build up my resume! 

Besides that, I had quite the ordeal trying to get a job this morning at a local pie shop. My dad woke me up bright and early, I was sent out to go to this shop and talk to  whoever I could to obtain a job, and that would be it! Well that isn't what happened. After a long, exasperating wait in traffic, I had a long, exasperating wait in the shop only to be told that nobody could talk to me then and to turn an application in later. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR LATER LIKE YOU  HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!

GOOD NEWS!

I ALMOST GOT A JOB AT H&M! GAAHHHHHH THE ONLY REASON THEY COULDN'T HIRE ME FOR SEASONAL EMPLOYMENT IS BECAUSE IT GOES TO OCTOBER AND SINCE I'M MOVING TO CHICAGO IN LIKE, TWO MONTHS, I MISS OUT ON HALF THE TIME I'D BE WORKING. 

This at least gives me some hope that I can maybe get a job despite the odds t=stacked against me right now. Next Spring I definitely need to start applying earlier that way I have a job waiting for me when I get home.

In better news....

Earlier this morning I sent in a submission to DePaul's comedy magazine, Detour, and they've already gotten back to me! I now have to answer some questions and then write up two articles based on the pitches I sent in for my submission. For our submission, we had to create 10 headlines that could be on "The Onion" and some feature ideas. These were my headlines:

1. 8-year-old girl gets "pretty full of herself" after beating leukemia
2. Young man goes vegan for two hours after watching documentary on food industry
3. New Thai-Fusion restaurant just "eh" according to local hipster
4. Socially inept man responds "you too" when wished a happy birthday
5. New dating app includes feature that identifies which matches are most likely serial killers
6. Woman disappointed after hiring handyman from Craigslist, expected to "at least be kidnapped or something"
7. No one surprised when ghost-hunting reality show revealed as a fraud
8. Local man decides he looks cool wearing sunglasses at night
9. 30 things better than your Buzzfeed list
10. Newly orphaned child consoled by that fact that he's only a few billion dollars away from being Batman

My feature ideas weren't as good, but my best one was for a column: "Rachel Dolezal has inspired my transition into a Native American woman"

Hopefully something good comes from this! I'd really love it.

Charleston Massacre

I cannot believe that this has happened. And I can't believe that so many media outlets refuse to portray it as it truly is. 

For those who haven't heard, there was a mass murder in a Baptist church in Charleston, South Carolina. Nine people were killed! One victim was the Church's pastor and a State Senator. The deaths happened a few days ago, but today the suspect was apprehended. The shooter was a 21-year-old white boy.

The fact that this atrocity has happened, especially in such a safe place like a church prayer meeting, is absolutely sickening and mind-boggling. What's even worse is the fact that the media has not recognized this massacre as a hate crime and an act of terrorism. The suspect had, for a long time, had the confederate flag painted on his car and has displayed several instances of racism in his behavior. He shot these people because they were black. There is no other reason.

However, as is typical whenever a white man commits mass murder, the media portrays him as some sort of lost puppy with "mental issues." Literally some of the headlines I've seen have been absolutely disgusting:

• Dylann Storm Roof is described as "quiet and soft-spoken"
• Many of Dylann Storm Roof's Facebook friends, including those from his high school, are Black

LIKE WHY MUST THE MEDIA TRY TO PAINT HIM LIKE SOME LOST LITTLE LAMB?! ALSO, HAVING "FRIENDS" (C'MON FACEBOOK FRIENDS ARE REALLY FUCKING MEANINGLESS) FROM OTHER RACES DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON LESS OF A RACIST JESUS I HAVE A HEADACHE! 

Rachel Dolezal Today Show Interview: "I Identify as Black"

As if this woman couldn't get any worse.

I don't even know where to start with this, other than that reading about this made me retch. 

I cannot believe that this one woman would go so deep to appropriate and steal a culture. She also added on that she "identifies with the black experience." Like NO YOU DON'T YOU STAGED THE HATE CRIMES AGAINST YOU AND BEFORE THAT YOU HAVE NEVER FACED THE SAME LEVEL OF OPPRESSION AS ANY BLACK PERSON EVER.

It jut really infuriates me, I don't even know what to say.

While her work for equality is meritorious, it does not change the fact that she lived a life of deception. She could have identified herself as an ally for equality and still have been as much of a leader as she was prior to her parents' revelation of her true identity, but NOOOOOOOOO she just had to lie to the community that she was so set on helping! 

If Rachel Dolezal "identifies with the black experience," then I identify with somebody that wants to throttle her for her disrespect of other cultures.

Feeling Sick or Something

Uggggggh I don't know what it is but I don't feel too well. All day I've been having awful cramps, and now I have a dreadful stomachache. Basically, I'm going to have to put off my job hunt plans for tonight (the calls, at least) and wait until tomorrow morning. Please send help I'm broke and going to Chicago soon, where everything is really expensive. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease help by clicking an ad or getting on to InboxDollars using the banner on this page, pleeeeeeeeeease every little bit helps. 

Nothing is about to come of that, but at least I tried.

Today So Far/My Job Hunt Struggles

I've been pretty busy today doing chores and running errands and the like! I had my final orthodontist appointment this morning, took myself out for breakfast, picked up my mom's much-belated Mother's Day gift, and then handled a few small tasks like picking up jugs of water and donating clothes to Goodwill. I still need to work out today, but I'm going to do that once I'm done doing all the laundry. Tomorrow I need to get back into my regimen of working out first thing after breakfast. I'm typically much more productive when I do that!

I still haven't heard anything back on the employment front. I'm getting a bit worried. I'm going to apply to a few more places online tonight and wait to see if I get any calls tonight from the places that didn't turn me down immediately. If I don't get any calls tonight, I'm going to call the remaining three places to get a concrete answer tomorrow morning after I've worked out. If I get nos from them, I'm going to dress up a bit then head out for a drive and see if I can pick up applications at any neighboring towns. Once I've gathered up a stack, I'm going to go home and fill all of them out, hopefully to return them later that evening. 

I am NOT ending this week without securing a job.

Shrek, The Musical

The All-City musical was fantastic! Everybody in the cast was incredibly talented, and one of the most amazing things about this show is that it is completely run by high school students. These kids are such professionals, it's so impressive!

The show itself, Shrek, The Musical had a lot of heart and was overall pretty great! It was pretty true to the plot of the original movie, although there were many plot holes. Who knows though, those holes could've been there in the beginning; it's been so long since I've seen the film that I wouldn't know any better anyways! The music was great- a lot of fun, energetic songs, some ballads, a love song- you know, the typical makings of a solid musical theater soundtrack.

The talent behind the show, from the principal actors to the extras, was unparalleled. Each and every person on that stage managed to steal the scene, even if for only a second. In addition to that, it was very clear that every actor there was ecstatic to be there and genuinely loved putting on that show. That's something that cannot be taken for granted in a cast! Like in my school's most recent musical (Hello, Dolly!) nobody in the cast looked like they were happy and enjoying themselves. It didn't help that the show they were putting on was a hard to follow "romp" set in the 1890's that can only be made enjoyable through the presence of Barbara Streisand, but still! 

Several of the actors shone in particular. Obviously, there were the four principal roles- Shrek, Princess Fiona, Donkey, and Lord Farquaad. Each person brought something great to the part. The actor behind Shrek had strong vocals and the perfect comedic and dramatic pacing for delivering his lines. He really brought Shrek's "layers" to life. Lord Farquaad stole all of his scenes- he played up the audience, was incredibly animated, and really managed to create the subtle nuances needed when portraying a character of such magnitude. Donkey not only was a vocal powerhouse, but had excellent comedic skills. He would have made Eddie Murphy proud, to say the least. Finally, the leading lady behind Fiona was perfect. She was an incredible, gifted vocalist, an amazing dancer, and played the character as perfectly as could be- a true triple threat. Those big four were an unstoppable force on the stage.

Some of the supporting cast members who stood out included Pinocchio, a girl who played "the sugar plum fairy" and voiced the Gingerbread Man (a puppet), a girl who played the Dragon (a giant puppet controlled by multiple people, the young lady looked like something straight out of Dreamgirls), a boy who played multiple comedic characters in the Ensemble, and the two girls who played the younger versions of Princess Fiona.

The only parts of the show that weren't so great were really things that couldn't have been controlled. The sound during the show was having many issues, oftentimes cutting off the microphones for the characters who only had one or two lines. If I was one of those actors, I probably would have been slightly annoyed because if those are my only moments to shine, I don't want them being taken away from a faulty sound system! The only other issue was the fact that there was essentially an army of small children at the theater creating disturbances and noise all over the place. That once again reinforced my plans to never have children.

Overall, the All-City Musical was a fantastic experience, well worth the trip and the money paid! Hopefully next year, they will perform yet another fantastic show, because I'd definitely love to see it!

Last Night/Today

Yesterday I went to a whopping four graduation parties all within the span of three and a half hours! I was pretty impressed with myself. It was a lot of fun though, I enjoyed seeing several of my friends again. I went to one girl's party who I had several classes with this year, I went to one of my longtime friends from elementary school's party that she was sharing with her cousin, who I am also friends with, I went to my twin friends' party, and then I ended my party circuit at one of my lacrosse friend's party. (He was the one who asked me to prom literally the day after I sorted things out with Jack regarding prom. I'm still really annoyed with Jack lately, he's been pretty inadvertently rude to me lately.) Overall, the parties were a lot of fun!

After my whirlwind of parties, I went to Andy's house to celebrate his birthday with him. When I was in Paris I saw this great Beatles poster and I bought that for him. We had a lovely time, just relaxing and enjoying each others' company. I can't believe he's twenty now! When I met him, he was just turning 18 (He's a year and a half older than me). While I was in London, we hit our 2nd anniversary. Honestly it's been the best two years of my life. My immediate family still isn't very keen on him, but he makes me incredibly happy and I'm not sure if they realize that. This relationship has been the most emotionally fulfilling experiences! He treats me with so much respect, reveres me as a goddess, and would do anything for me. And that alone is somethings that any parent would wish for in their child's significant other. 

Today I'm once again a social butterfly! I am currently cleaning out my room and my closet, and soon heading out to Akron for the All-City Musical, Shrek, The Musical! I'm going with my friend Amanda, and I'm pretty excited. I'll be sure to give an update about it.

Rachel Dolezal

Yesterday I saw the story of Rachel Dolezal on Facebook. For those of you unfamiliar with it or who live outside the United States, Rachel Dolezal is a graduate of Howard University- an HBCU (Historically Black College/University), an Africana Studies professor at Eastern Washington University, and is the president of the Spokane, Washington branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP). Sounds innocuous, right? Here's the thing- Rachel Dolezal is a white woman who has been disguising herself as a black woman since 2007.

Her parents reached out to every news outlet they could to reveal their daughters true heritage and to bring her lie to the attention of the public. They provided a birth certificate, photos, and family anecdotes. Her parents said that they are of German and Czech descent. Dolezal has several adopted siblings who are black and is married to a black man (she married him while she was white, mind you), and has been using her youngest adopted brother as her "son" and does not allow him to contact the rest of the Dolezal family. According to another one of her adopted siblings, she made her "son" despise white people, even though she herself is a white person.

Dolezal also claims to have been the victim of nine hate crimes over the past few years. However, information provided by the postal service has debunked her most recent assertion that she has received hate mail. Based on all of her other lies, how can anybody believe that she hadn't staged any of her other hate crimes?

I personally am incredibly disgusted by her actions. Cultural appropriation is something that I have very mixed feelings on, because I believe that it is okay to adopt elements of a culture into one's life if it is done respectfully, but Dolezal has taken this too far. She essentially lives her life in blackface! It repulses me to think that she simply chose to adopt this culture and preaches about the struggles of the culture when she personally has never had to face the oppression and has had to suffer in the way that black people have. What she did is a slap in the face to every person of color, as well as a slap in the face to her own heritage. 

Many news outlets are trying to compare her mess of lies to Caitlyn Jenner's transition, but frankly they are completely and utterly wrong. Caitlyn is being true to who she is, Dolezal is lying to everybody around her and disrespecting not one but two rich, developed cultures.

Chores Galore

Today has been pretty uneventful. I spent it doing chores and running errands for my mom. Still no luck on the job front, so hopefully that will turn around soon! I did manage to work out earlier, and I'm going to work out again after dinner. I have this habit of instantly eating back all the calories I've burned and then some every time I work out in the morning during lunch. I'm kinda out of control in that way, and I really need to work on exercising my willpower. If I can start getting into better habits now, I'll be in much better shape later on.

Stressed as it gets right now

I am failing at finding a job. I owe my mom lord only knows how much money from this vacation. I need to save whatever money I can so I have it while I'm at college, but I don't even have that much to begin with. I NEED to work but I don't know if that's going to happen for me. I don't know how the hell I can make any money. Like I can only get so far with InboxDollars (please please please check it out using the banner- I'm affiliated with that link so I earn a little bit whenever anybody joins the community using that link and I will take anything that I can get), and I may have to join some other online rewards/payment communities. 

On top of my money worries, my mom is starting to catch on to the fact that I don't like organized religion, and BOY is she angry with me for it. She keeps saying "seriously, why did I pay all that money for Catholic schools if this is how you repay me?!" and it's really upsetting me. Like she doesn't know that I'm agnostic/a deist (I'm still trying to sort it out, all I know is I certainly am not a Catholic or any other Christian denomination), but she knows that I hate going to church and being in church and doing anything related to church. I'm worried that the truth is just going to slip out at some point during conversation and I just won't be able to keep it from my parents anymore.

I haven't wanted to talk about it with them ever because I'm terrified of their reactions. Like just off my mom's current reactions to my dislike of attending mass I know that a storm is a-brewing. I'm terrified really. I'm scared that they'll reject me and throw me out of their lives and leave me to fend for myself which is something that I'm really ill-equipped to do. My mom's wrath alone is terrifying; she can reduce anybody to tears in a matter of seconds. It's insane. And oh my goodness hearing my parents describe what they'd do to me if I ever became a Democrat makes me tremble in fear of me telling them about how I feel about religion. 

I'm sick of living in the shadows and having to lie to myself every time that I'm dragged to church, forced to say grace before family dinners, and so on. I psychologically cannot take it. Every time that I am dragged to mass, I tear up many times and get choked up. Especially when my mom forces me to sing along with the hymns and to participate in the mass. It physically pains my heart, I get a huge lump in my throat just thinking about it. I know that I'm not being true to who I am and that hurts me so much and so deeply but I can't bear to say anything to my parents about it. I know that it'd hurt them so badly and I really hate disappointing them, but this is who I am and I can't change it. I've tried so so hard to believe, I really have. I just can't. And I hate to disappoint my family and make them think that I don't appreciate Catholic school and the moral lessons I've learned there because I DO I really do, but keeping all of this inside of me is tearing me apart.

Help me, I'm poor...

The only job offers I've been getting are scams from human trafficking rings, it's cool...

Yup, that's right! There's been letters going out to many girls ages 18+ in my region from a company offering $15.25 an hour asking us to set up private interviews with them. My mom, after reviewing the letter, advised me against following through with it. (I probably wouldn't have done it anyways, I didn't really understand what the "company" was about and what I'd have to do- I don't like going into things blindly.) Later, I found out that a police investigation unveiled that this group was actually a front for human trafficking. They make girls believe that they're about to be interviewed, give them a roofied glass of water while they wait for their interview, then BAM they're forced into prostitution. Evidently, they found these girls through their social media, so I REALLY need to adjust all my privacy settings! 

I HATE JOB HUNTING AND I'M TERRIBLE AT IT

Remember how I filled out about 10 job applications about 2 weeks ago? I haven't been contacted by a single place so I've decided to go down my list calling to check on the status of my applications with the hopes of MAYBE securing an interview. I'm over halfway down the list and haven't gotten anywhere yet. In some cases the hiring manager hasn't been in, so I've been deferred for a few days or so. The rest I've been turned away. It's getting to be really late for me to still be hunting for a summer job- the month is halfway over! I only have 2 and a half workable months in me!

I'm Back!!!!!

Europe was fantastic! I loved it a lot, and out of all the family vacations my family has been on, this has been one of our best. We hardly fought at all, and overall we all had a good time!

Paris was absolutely gorgeous! It was pretty rainy while I was there, but that didn't take away from the city's beauty. We saw all kinds of beautiful landmarks, shopped, ate amazing meals, and even visited the Musee d'Orsay! I definitely want to go back there sometime before I'm thirty. 

London took awhile for me to fall in love with. It had gorgeous, old buildings and landmarks juxtaposed against ultra modern (but amazing) buildings and structures and hideous office buildings from the 1970s and 80s. It took awhile to get used to that, because the buiildings in Paris had a uniformity of sorts that made the city blend together well. I thought Paris was easier to get around than London, but the London Underground was much easier to understand than Le Metro. We actually got lost in Le Metro, and thanks to the remnants of knowledge I gained from doing a stupid stupid stupid project in French III I was able to get us back to our hotel.

In England, we visited some landmarks (and spent like 4 hours in St. Paul's Cathedral thanks to a ridiculously long guided tour), caught up with some of my mom's old friends from her time in England, saw a club water polo match, ate terrible terrible meals, shopped a TON, and went to the West End to see Bend it Like Beckham The Musical. The show was fantastic, by the way! I loved it a ton, it was really different from many of the musicals that I've seen in the past.

The most difficult parts of the vacation were the flights. Our overseas flights were great. Lufthansa is now officially the greatest airline EVER in my opinion. Their seats were comfortable and spacious, we had a selection of free, endless entertainment, a fantastic in flight meal, and excellent service! It makes me want to fly to Germany more often! The domestic U.S. flights were ATROCIOUS though. On our first flight, they took off an hour late due to computer issues. On our flight back from the Newark airport, we had a half hour delay, no air conditioning on a packed flight in 90 degree weather, and very uncomfortable seating. But hey, if the worst parts of a vacation are getting there and getting back home, that's a pretty great thing!