HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM OHIO!!!!!

I have about an hour until everybody comes over, yay!!!!

It's been a pretty lazy day so far, but currently my allergies are destroying me. Ugggggggh I hate sniffles!!!!

New Year's Eve Y'all

Good morning!!! Well, almost noon, but whatever!!! I'm pretty excited for today, because New Year's Eve is one of my favorite celebrations! I love thinking forward and looking towards the future, and what better time to do that than New Year's Eve? It's such a hopeful, pleasant time if you're in the right company. Typically, we ring in the new year at our neighbors' house, but this year we're hosting. A bunch of my parents' friends are coming over, and then Abby, Dylan, and Andy are coming as well! I'm SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!

Contemplating North Korea for some odd Reason

I just watched a really fascinating documentary on North Korea. With the whole hullabaloo (ohhh I love that word) with the Seth Rogen and James Franco stoner-comedy The Interview it's seemed pretty essential as of late to really understand what is happening in that country. Having been the butt of jokes in America for ages, it's easy to believe that the country itself is not a threat. However, I (and I'm sure many other people) had heard and read stories that seemed too cruel to be true: tales of a mass execution in a stadium- the offense being watching American movies (despite the vast film collection of the country's supreme leader), stories from escaped guards of the brutal work camps, and the stories of expatriates who miraculously survived the hardship of escaping the country. It seems surreal to think that in a world where everybody is so so connected and involved with one another, one lone, small nation is telling the rest of the world where they can stick their globalization efforts while simultaneously destroying all of its citizens through boundless cruelty. The worst part is, no nation has truly stepped up to say "Hey, this is wrong." Part of that comes from the nuclear power that small nation possesses, but nonetheless it is still shocking that hardly effort has been taken to help those brainwashed, dying people. With America's tendency to take on wars in order to "preserve and promote democracy," why aren't we putting effort into doing that where it's needed most? 

I guess the blatantly obvious answer to that question is that North Korea has nothing to offer us in return (coughcoughMIDDLEEASTERNOILcough). It's kinda shameful.

Tonight we went to my dad's swearing-in ceremony! It was basically an hour and a half of meeting strangers and getting awkward hugs from creepy old men that I hardly know! 10/10 would not do again. On the bright side, I won't have to go to any more of those events since my dad has six years to go before he needs to run again!

Believe it or not, I actually exercised today! I went on a short walk with my dog and my sister. My sister's been on a health kick, so she's been using all these different apps. She showed me a few. I like the MyFitnessPal app. It's really easy to use and it covers a lot of bases. 

I have a headache right now and I kinda need to take a nap but I lack the motivation to turn off the lights in my room. Ohhh lazy-girl First-World problems...

Hello world! I haven't done much today, but I did make the breakfast of champions! I made a breakfast sandwich with egg whites, cheese, and Canadian bacon and then I made myself a smoothie with strawberries, spinach, a little banana (I detest bananas and will only put a tiny amount in the smoothies I make), and some orange juice! It was all really delicious. I plan on getting some exercise today. I really need to get back on track with my health.

In the words of Ice Cube, today was a good day; I didn't even have to use my A-K.

Tonight

Andy and I had a wonderful time tonight! After exchanging gifts (he got me some movies, I got/constructed a director's chair for him and had a Beatles calendar for him too!) we went out for sushi. He has never had it before. He struggled a little with chopsticks, but it was pretty adorable! He tried the California Roll (the "beginners' roll"/ the roll for people that aren't really that into sushi but still want to eat it in order to look cool), and wasn't a big fan of it because it has more avocado than anything else, which washes out the rest of the flavors. I had a "Spicy Phoenix Roll" which is crab, spicy shrimp, and spicy crayfish (it's not spicy at all) with delicious crispy crunchy bits wrapped up in sesame seeded rice and this sweet rice paper. It's sooooo good. It comes with this dipping sauce which has a little spice to it, but overall it's fairly sweet. He tried that, and decided that the next time we get sushi, he's just going to get what I get since I know what I'm doing! We spent the rest of the night making fun of rom-coms and Adam Sandler movies that were on cable and eating homemade ice cream (his older sister is an AMAZING dessert chef- she made a whole plethora of cookies for Christmas, regularly bakes cakes and cupcakes from scratch, and then had made dark chocolate/cayenne pepper/cinnamon ice cream and vanilla ice cream with cherry cobbler inside of the ice cream!). It was a fantastic night, and I wouldn't have traded anything that happened today, from running errands with my sister this morning to typing this post. It couldn't get better!

12/29/14

Today my sister and I went on a bunch off errands for my mom. It was fun at first, but then it got really tiring. On the bright side, I had a really delicious lunch at Skyway (a drive-in burger place) with her, and Andy's roommate/best friend Matt was our waiter. We tipped well! I'm going to see Andy in about an hour. I'm excited! We're going to get sushi, which he's never had before. I've been craving a particular sushi roll, so I'm pumped!

Goodnight!!!!

Despite the fact that I had to go to 3/4ths of a mass today, it was pretty great overall. I'm excited for tomorrow because I'm FINALLY going to see Andy! He's been back from school for three weeks now, but I haven't been able to see him at all between finals, being sick, and then both of our work schedules. And it kinda sucks cuz I'll only get to see him once over break since he's heading up to Canada with his family for the remainder of break. I don't know exactly when I'm going to get to see him next. He may be coming back home for my birthday next month, but that's not set in stone yet so I'm not certain that it'll happen. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed, though.

This is a very good day ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I OFFICIALLY HAVE A ROOMMATE HOLY CRAP

OH MY GOODNESS THE GIRL FROM COLUMBUS WHO I WANT TO ROOM WITH SAID SHE'D LOVE TO ROOM WITH ME TOO SO WE MADE IT OFFICIAL THIS IS SO EXCITING YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!!

DePaul Playlist

Someone in the DePaul Facebook group made a Spotify playlist of everybody's favorite songs, and it's pretty rad! I tried to link it, but it wouldn't work. You can look it up though. It's under the title "DePual 2019" (he made it at 2AM, so spelling kinda went out the window...).

I haven't started any of my homework for over break oops oops oops I don't care oops oops oops

Roommate Situation Update!!!

So after the whole smoker/non-smoker debacle, a girl from Columbus ,essaged me over the housing site, and we may room together! She seems really cool; we do a lot of the same activities in school, and we're both planning on majoring in digital cinema at DePaul. I hope that I end up rooming with her, she's very nice! Plus it'll be easier to cancel all of the other requests I sent if we decide to request each other.

I had to go to mass this morning (uggggghhhhh) but I managed to sneak out early and went to Dunkin Donuts to kill time. I tried the Sugar Cookie Iced Coffee that they have, and oh my goodness was it delicious!!!!! I'm not a big fan of coffee in general (not a surprise, coming from a former Starbucks employee), but Dunkin has some fantastic coffee drinks. 10/10 would drink again. Five stars!!!

Goodnight!

12/27/14

Work today was okay. It was incredibly slow during the last three hours. Only ten people came into the store over that period of time. It got to the point where my manager let me take a nap in the back room! It was kinda boring, but I at least got extra hours to make up for the time I lost when I was sick. I don't work at all next week, and I'm cool with that! Now, I'm just kinda tired.

Work Yesterday

Okay, so yesterday was pretty eventful! First, I had to take our new LTE on a field trip to the food court at the mall because he had no idea that there was one! Secondly, an Evangelical Christian lady gave me a pamphlet on "How to Know You're Going to Heaven" since I helped her find shoes for her grandmother. She wanted to make sure I would be able to join her there, since she knew she would be going to heaven. She also gave one to my friend Courtney, who was ringing her up! Then, an old white lady told the new LTE, Brad, that he looked like Tiger Woods. He doesn't. Not even remotely! After he was done talking to her, he went on the radio and said "The only thing Tiger Woods and I have in common is that we're both lightskinned black guys!" and then every few minutes our manager would come over the radio and chant "Tiger Woods y'all Tiger Tiger Woods y'all" and everyone would just start randomly laughing! Then, I dropped part of a desk on my foot which was ehhhhh.

I love the people I work with, but right now I don't wanna go to work today...

Boxing Day 2014

It was a looooong day at work today and I'm beat. I have some solid stories, but I'm too tired to type anything! I'll update on that tomorrow, Goodnight!

I done goofed...

So I accidentally put on my housing profile for DePaul that I'm a smoker, so it turns out that about half the girls who got in touch with me are smokers... I don't know how to break it to them that I don't want to room with someone that smokes... My best option right now is to say that somebody requested me back as a roommate and I'm going to room with said person. I would include something about how I can't wait to meet them in person, though! I just feel bad doing that to anybody. But I don't see any other option that would spare their feelings...

Goodnight!

I have to work tomorrow, and I can already imagine the slew of people coming in to return things they got for Christmas and didn't want at all. Malls are typically super busy the day after Christmas because of returns, but also because there are typically a ton of sales with stores trying to clear out the stuff they didn't sell during Christmas. People are pretty much ALWAYS grumpy, so I'm not particularly looking forward to dealing with customers. I'm just kinda thankful that I survived Christmas Eve! There was a surprising number of people out shopping, even when the mall was closing at 6:00. I understand that not everybody has the ability to spend time with their families on Christmas Eve, but why on earth would anybody want to spend the holidays at an outlet mall?! It beats me. Nonetheless, they still came in droves. On the bright side, I'll get to meet our new Limited Term Employee (like myself) Brad. My friend Hunter quit a few weeks ago because he couldn't balance work with his basketball schedule. He had a great sense of humor, so I'll miss him. On the bright side, I get a few more hours, which makes my paychecks somewhat fatter. 

I just ate half my weight in leftovers, and I'm not even mad!

MERRY CHRISTMAHANNAKWANZA!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAHANNAKWANZA EVERYBODY!!!!!! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and that all your wishes came true! I had a pretty solid holiday, I got a lot of necklaces and sweaters and pajamas and stuff! We also had all of our family over at our house for Christmas. Today was also exciting because I got messages from not one, but TWO potential roommates at DePaul!

I just watched all of Childrens Hospital and I'm not even mad!

Oh dear god I caved and wrote a really stupid-sounding post on DePaul's official Class of 2019 Facebook page... I feel really really stupid because there's been absolutely no reaction to it yet, whereas the majority of these posts has a bazillion likes and comments. WHAT DID I DO WRONG TELL ME LORDS OF FACEBOOK GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

12/23/14

Today was pretty uneventful. i just did chores and then went to Target to pick up some stuff for my sister's stocking. My mom is mad at me because I spent $22 instead of $15... oops.... Sorry I love my sister, I guess! Later, I'm going to FaceTime one of my roommates from the Envision Program, Meagan. She lives in Connecticut and AHHHH I miss her!!!!!! 

I also got accepted to Cleveland State University, which is funny because I never actually applied there...

Yesterday was a lot more exciting. I went to a salon and got my hair died to match my roots. It's SO dark. I've been getting blonde highlights since I was in sixth grade, so seeing my hair nearly black was definitely a shock. After that, I went to my friend Christina's house for a Christmas party. It was a ton of fun! We had a gingerbread house-decorating competition, a solid home-cooked Italian meal, a hilarious white elephant gift exchange that included the likes of a life-sized Barbie doll, a box of condoms, a stocking that contained both boxers and a thong (both from WalMart, of course), homemade yoga pants, and adult men's diapers! After that, we all played Cards Against Humanity for about an hour and a half. The only really strange thing that happened was that my ex boyfriend- I dated this guy for about nine months during my freshman year- after me going through two more boyfriends and being consistently friendly and kind to him, asked for clarity if we "were cool." I said "Yes, of course! It's been three years after all!" and after that he was a lot friendlier to me, so in the end it was positive despite its initial awkwardness. It's kinda nice to not have a sense of dread about him, because for a pretty long time I felt like he would never want to be friends with me again since he would always kinda roll his eyes whenever I'd say something, but I'm glad that that's changing!

12/20/14

This morning I went into a clinic and found out that I don't have a cold, but a severe sinus infection. On the bright side, I have some antibiotics in my system now and I don't have to go into work tomorrow either! 

My dad got me some breakfast, then I went home and slept all day long. Now I'm back on the Netflix grind.

The Past Few Days

So for the first time in ages, I'm sick with something that isn't a sinus infection! I'm pretty positive that I have the common cold, but I won't find out for sure until I see a doctor tomorrow. On the bright side, I won't have to work tomorrow since I'm ill. 

I had finals for the past three days, and they went OKAY. I don't wanna jinx myself. I'm just glad that it's finally winter break and that I survived this semester with minimal trauma.Now I'm just going to veg out with some Netflix until I'm ready to fall asleep.

Finals Today

Today I felt really sick and bleh and tired and I was in no mood whatsoever to take any of my finals. On the bright side, I didn't do as bad as I expected on Stats or Lit, but religion was harder than I expected. In the end I think I'll be ok.

Goodnight

My brain hurts and I'm dead inside.

ugh

Ugggghhh I have a ridiculous headache and ugggggggggggggh I don't wanna study/do work and ugggggggggh I'm sleep deprived and uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

12/16/14

Today consisted of "reviewing" for our exams in school, which was essentially meaningless. The only class where it somewhat counted was my AP Bio class, but even then the reviewing wasn't going so hot for me. Of the exams I'm worried about, I'm most concerned with Bio since it's my worst class (yet somehow still my favorite). After that, it goes AP Stats, AP Literature, Honors Gov, Economics, then Religion. Tomorrow, I have my Stats, Lit, and Religion exams. Just thinking about all of the writing I'm going to have to do makes my hand cramp up. I've done a ridiculous amount of writing this week already with my two in-class essays in Lit and rewriting my AP Bio test essays to study from. My right arm is significantly stronger than my left just because of the writing I have to do!

Today for Lit we completed the poetry analysis portion of our exam.I felt like I had lucked out since I was familiar with one of the two poems on the prompt, as it's one of my favorite poems. Last year Andy sent it to me because he had read it in English and it made him think of me. The poems were fairly simple in and of themselves, but as soon as I tried to put my thoughts into words it came out as something along the lines of "hurr durr dur derp herp derp derp herp herp derp herp derp hurrrrrrr durrr duuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

Here is that first poem, the Keats poem:

WHEN I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
Before high pil`d books, in charact'ry,
Hold like rich garners the full-ripen'd grain;
When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,	5
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And feel that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!
That I shall never look upon thee more,	10
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think,
Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

Goodnight!!!!

Hells yeah I finished my homework before midnight can I get a whoop whoop?!

I'm back from my Gov review (which was surprisingly fun- I think the fact that it was at a Panera helped a lot), and I'm currently driving the struggle bus with my homework. Just shoot me please!!!!!!!!

12/15/14

Today was an okay day! I hardly did anything in any of my classes. My Othello exam for English wasn't too terrible, and then in all my other classes we basically putzed around and called it "review." The Newspaper Christmas party/Secret Santa gift exchange was pretty great! I got a Lena Dunham book from one of the girls on the staff. Instead of hauling ass on my homework like I should've been, I started reading it. I really like it a lot so far! Now I have ten minutes until the people O'm driving to the review session arrive... wish me luck tonight...

On the bright side, I'll at least get some Panera!

Goodnight!

I made progress on my Honors Gov homework and some progress on my outline for my Economics research/argumentative essay, but I still have a lot of work to do. I have to make a works cited page sometime tomorrow night. Basically, this outline will be the only thing I work on tomorrow night! 

Tomorrow there's a review for Gov in a Panera 20 minutes away from my house and I don't really know how long it's going to last,so I have to do as much homework as I can between school and the review! And before school, as well. Basically, I'm toast.

Apparently that last post was my 666th post! Yessssssssssssssssss

12/14/14

Today was a solid day. I had to work, but not for nearly as long as I had to yesterday or over Black Friday. It was a really sloooow day today at Famous, so I spent a lot of the day trying on shoes that I've had my eyes on. Seriously, the store was completely empty for a few 15-20 minute stretches. In the end, I bought a pair of black, open-toed leather wedges that look really badass and then a pair of adorable black oxford-style heels. I've been looking for a similar shoe for AGES so it was great to find something like that.

After work, I went to the Starbucks where I used to work and bought some stuff for my newspaper class's Secret Santa. I bought a cute mug and a small gift card. For buying the mug, I got a free soy chai latte which was definitely a perk because I didn't get a chance to eat all day. 

I basically procrastinated the entire night by researching all-women's colleges instead of the foreign policy of post-WWII presidents (excluding Gerald Ford for some reason?) that I was supposed to be for Honors Gov. I just want that class to be over. I couldn't care less about it. Ironically, it's my highest grade.

Yesterday and 12/13/14

Yesterday was pretty uneventful. I did okay on my AP Bio quiz despite not studying, and I had a pretty solid time in Newspaper. I basically slept the entire time I was home while my sister was at a basketball game, having a social life and stuff. My dad had hernia surgery, so I slept in one recliner in our basement while he slept in the other. Overall, it was pretty dull. I just needed the day to end as quickly as possible; I was absolutely dead from everything over the week on the inside and the outside. 

Today I worked from 11-6. It was long and painful. I'm all kinds of sore, and I'm completely beat. I'm not ready to work on homework at all! It's even a struggle to type this post, I've made so many typos and stuff it's taken me double the time to type it. I dealt with the meanest, rudest, nastiest old white man at work today. He had a return that needed done, and was yelling at me for not being a manager so I could return his item for him, filling my cash register, being female, etc. It gave me a headache. 

Essentially, I'm done for the day, week, month, year, decade, century, etc. and need the nap of a lifetime before I can even think about doing ANY homework/studying/exercise/anything remotely productive.

Goodnight.

Screw  everything.

Dying

I've been pounding out stupid freaking homework all night long and I just want to hurl myself off a cliff. Five minutes ago I remembered another assignment that I needed to do and ughgggggghghghghghghghghghghghhhhhhh SHOOT ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12/11/14

Today was significantly better than yesterday. All in all, I'm just going to try to take care of myself the best way that I can.

goodnight

It's not like anyone's reading. No one cares. 

I'm not okay

Okay, I'm kinda getting some things done tonight as far as homework and projects and other bleh-ness goes, so I hate myself and almost everything else around me a little smidgen bit less. I still am thoroughly disgusted with my appearance, body, grades, allergies, habits, laziness, and all-around ehhhh-ness to make up for that small degree of positivity adequately.

Back when I was in my sophomore year, I started to believe that I may be manic-depressive. Lately I've been thinking that that's highly possible, but maybe I'm just a mental-illness hypochondriac. After all, in order to be manic-depressive, I'd have to go through manic stages, not just depressive states that get progressively worse, show some improvement, then tank again. I hate my pessimism that I've had the past several weeks. I can't really explain it. I try really damn hard to be optimistic, but frankly, I'm disgusted with myself. I look at myself in the mirror and I hate everything about me. What's worse is that I don't even have the willpower to change it. I'm too weak-willed to consider stopping eating or throwing up or cutting or anything dangerous like that, but I'm also too weak-willed to go about changing myself in a healthy way. I never have the time to exercise, I have terrible portion control, and by the end of the night it's miraculous that I can even wash my face and brush my teeth, let alone anything else. 

I'm incredibly nervous. I want nothing more than to get better so I can stop hating myself and feeling disgusted, but for the next week or so I just don't see that happening. And I've grown incredibly nervous about how others perceive me. I see my face looking chubbier in the mirror, I see my stomach bulging out when I sit or stand or do freaking anything, I see my muffin top and my acne and oil on my face and the slow yellowing of my teeth throughout the day and I just want to hurl myself off a cliff. I hardly took selfies in the first place, but at this point I don't even take selfies on Snapchat that would disappear in seconds. 

I think the last time I felt pretty was during homecoming, but even when I look back at the pictures, I absolutely hate the way I look. I know I don't have nearly as much room to talk about it as others since I'm not necessarily big, but I can't help the way I feel. Anyone can feel terrible about themselves, no matter what size they are. I'm just terrible at taking action to change myself so I can stop hating the person in the mirror. 

And of course, there's the whole business with my parents and stuff eating me from the inside out. The whole self-esteem thing is just the cherry on top! Essentially, EVERYTHING that's been going on over the past two to three weeks has been eating me alive, wearing me down, destroying me, and breaking me down. I try really hard to stay positive, but I just want to cry. I don't really feel like there are people in my life that I can completely talk to about this comfortably.I tried to talk to my sister about the whole business with my parents last night, but she just kinda dismissed it and brought up (equally valid) worries of her own. I wouldn't dare talk to her about how worried I was about my appearance and weight because I know she's had significantly harder struggles with it than I ever have, and if I did she would chastise me for feeling the way I do. I can tell Andy about a lot of this, but it doesn't really do very much because, seeing through rose-colored glasses as he does, he can only say things like "You don't deserve that," or "You're beautiful just the way you are." As sweet and well-meaning as those are, they don't really make things any better. I still feel trapped in the self-loathing pit. I wouldn't take this to my parents for all the tea in China because they would probably hate me too for it. I don't really know if I could tell anyone at school about it. I know my friend Maddi knows that not everything has been okay with me, but I haven't really been ready to talk about it. I might be able to talk to Abby, Dylan, or Tony about it, most likely Abby, but I never really know when I'll get a chance to see them together again.

I just don't see any other way to face this other than to go it alone. 

Everything has decided to simultaneously kick me in the urethra over and over and over and over again. I love life! It's the best! Also, I'm the world's worst optimist. I'm terrible at that whole thing. As well as the whole "time management" thing and a whole plethora of other things. I was just starting to get my grades back where I wanted them, but it looks like I'm going to be walking on the edge of a knife until the semester ends. Maybe even until I'm out of school. Maybe when I die? Maybe it just never ends! Nonetheless, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want to get out. 

Blargh

Yesterday and 12/10

Yesterday was a hectic, bleh day that I don't want to relive anytime soon! On the bright side, I now have several things off of my plate and that helps me somewhat. But, of course, there's always always more getting added to the pile! Yesterday was also marked my 18th month with Andy! I know in the long run, a year and a half isn't that long, but when you're young it feels like forever!

Today was uneventfu, just homework and the usual shuffling from class to class. I still have no motivation, I'm still pretty bleh and joyless, and I just want to sleep all the time. Christmas Break can't come fast enough, oh my goodness!

STAR STUDENT RIGHT HERE

I have absolutely no motivation when it comes to my homework for tonight. I'm just kinda putzing along with my math. I'm about halfway done, but in my defense I'm doing three assignments at once since I procrastinated a lot last week and over the weekend. I also forgot a textbook that I needed for religion so I may be screwed there tomorrow... I also still have to finish reading Othello for English while paying particular attention to Act 5. AND I'm supposed to be studying for my exams, which are next week. I haven't done any of that! 

Now I just need to tackle my mountain of math homework....

12/8/14

Today was a pretty solid day! My sister and I went in to school early to decorate lockers for Christmas, which was a little hectic but a lot of fun. They turned out really nicely. I also filled out my housing application for DePaul, and I'm really excited about that!

It. Is. FINISHED.

I think I'm officially done with my research paper... this is too good to be true....

Ugggggggh I'm so close yet so far away from being done for the night... It's killing me.

I hate EVERYTHING

I hate EVERYTHING right now and I feel like I'm trapped in a pit of despair. It's freaking glorious, I'll tell you that. 

Yesterday and Today

Yesterday was a pretty busy day for me! I worked for four hours (and there were a lot of rude customers) then I went down to Columbus for a close family friend's Bat Mitzvah. It was a ton of fun. My sister and I hung out with the family's older cousins and had a blast. This morning, the family had a breakfast for all of the close family friends and family members who came from out of town. These sorts of events are incredibly extravagant! A lot of money and effort goes into them; it's almost like planning a large wedding. I'm not always a party person, but I love a Bar/Bat Mitzvah when they come around.

Last night I got around 2 hours of sleep because my dad never stops snoring and it's ridiculous. It was probably the worst night of sleep of my life. I've been kinda grumpy all day because of it. On the bright side, I'm no longer grounded, so huzzah!

Now I just have a ton of homework to do since I had no time yesterday and was too tired to work on Friday. Kill me.

I hate myself.

I'm just trying to sort out a lot of bleh feelings within myself. Most of it involves my family. I love them, but I'm the black sheep of the bunch and we all know it. And I know that my mother loves my sister more than me (and I don't blame her, my sister tells her everything and is easily her best friend). Not being the favorite doesn't really bother me much, just the differences in punishments that happen between us. Like if this whole grounding thing happened to my sister, it never would have gotten to this level and my mom would never have chewed her out and yelled at her and berated and insulted her as much as she did with me. It's just a lot of emotional trash on my plate and I don't know what to do with it exactly. I've never really been comfortable talking to my parents about feelings and stuff. I've been pretty self-sufficient ever since I've been driving, and even before then I've never been one to talk. At my core I'm pretty introverted; I just learned that people tended to like me more if I acted extroverted in social settings, and that's never been something that made it easy for me to let people, especially the people closest to me, in. I can't do much, so I feel really powerless and lost.

12/4 and 12/5/14

Both days were pretty awful and I'm starting to get really sick and kinda depressive and just uggggggggh I can't do anything right and I have no words for anything right now. I just kinda hate everything but most of all myself.

Goodnight

I quit.

I FORGOT I HAD TO FINISH AN AP BIO LAB FOR TOMORROW AND I STILL HAVEN'T DONE ANY OF MY OTHER HOMEWORK I RETRACT EVERYTHING I SAID EARLIER ABOUT PROGRESS I AM BEHIND I AM SO SO SOOOOO BEHIND!!!! I HATE EVERYTHING.

I've made a ton of headway on my research paper tonight, yay!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately for me, I haven't done ANY of my other work!

Welp, it turns out my mom remembered that I was all grounded and stuff, so once again I'm phoneless. The fact that I don't have my phone to play games or surf the internet with is not what bothers me, it's the fact that I have absolutely NO connection to any people. That's what's driving me insane. Even then, I wouldn't say I'm going insane so much as feeling down and depressed more. I have absolutely no motivation as a side effect of that. I at least get to see a lot of my friends at school, but that means nothing when I can't talk to my closest friend and confidante at all. I'm incredibly lonely when I don't have Andy to talk to. If I can at least talk to him every day, I don't have to miss him as much. Even when I'm hundreds of miles away from him for college or even just vacations, being in near-constant contact with him makes things infinitely less unbearable and miserable; when I have had a terrible, rotten, no-good, bad day I can't turn to him to vent/seek advice from or to cheer up. I have to sit there and dwell on my thoughts and dwell on my loneliness. I can't bear that much longer. I miss Andy and I just want to be able to talk to him again. 

Ugggggggggghhhhh

I don't feel like doing anything tonight blehhhhhhhh shoot me please and thank you in advance...

I have sooooo much work to get done it's driving me insane. I'm also starting to feel a little bit under the weather. And of course, there's the whole "I'm really really lonely since I can't talk to anybody" thing... 

I also hope this "grounding" which is essentially pointless, comes to an end soon and very soon. I miss Andy and my friends.

12/3/14

Today wasn't nearly as bleh as yesterday was. I'm just a little worried about the whole Bat Mitzvah/Work on Saturday situation. I know my mom was calling in, and it was not exactly pretty... When she wants something, she can be incredibly intimidating for a 5'2" woman. I admire it in her, but I really hope that it doesn't cost me my job this time around...

Goodnight!

I think my mom may have forgotten that I've been "grounded." By the end of the day tomorrow, I'm betting that she'll completely forget about everything. Until then, I'm calling it a night!

On the bright side, my parents brought me birthday cake ice cream which was pretty glorious! And I got a lot of work done on  my Stats project and my homework for religion. I'm still nowhere close to where I had planned to be for my research paper though, oops...

12/2/14

Today. Was. AWFUL. Absolutely horrible in almost every possible way. Everything overall was just incredibly difficult, and Honors Government has officially put me over the edge. This boy in my class wrote a particularly awful bill for the Congress project and was absolutely butthurt by the response he got to it. Another girl and primarily myself tore it to shreds, so since his pride has been hurt, he has a vendetta against her and I, but mostly me since I made him look like an idiot for his weak arguments. Anywho, I had to re-present my bill for the "Senate" and I knew that he most certainly would try to do something to try to trip me up, and sure enough, he bombarded me with rude questions that I gave witty and sassy responses to, then tried to filibuster me by reading from Mein Kampf. Yup. Mein Kampf. He continues to harass me outside of class, and if he keeps this behavior up, I'm going to have to confront him. If it came to that, I would simply apologize for hurting his pride, but tell him that he's taking things too far and that he needs to grow up. 

I'm just so so so so sick of that class and the majority of the people in it.

Goodnight

I'm calling it a night. I'm gonna truck through this week as fast as I can, and that's what I'm going to concentrate on. Goodnight.

12/1/14

I'm currently knee-deep in research papers now, but it's a huge relief to no longer have to worry about my stock market project for Economics. I'm just counting down to the end of the semester, it's all I can do at this point. 

School today wasn't overly terrible, it just wasn't my idea of joyful. Everything has just been "projects, projects, papers, projects, articles, exams, tests, projects, homework, projects, debates, papers, exams, exams, projects...." On the bright side, my grades have been going up and my GPA is at the highest it's been since school started this year! I mean I'll never have a 4.553 like I did at the end of the second week of school ever again, but a girl can dream! I'm having less and less B's, and if I did as well on my AP Bio test last week as I've been hoping I did, I'm going to be in fantastic shape at the end of this quarter!

I managed to go with my sister to take our dog on a 2-mile long walk. It was a nice distraction, but it wasn't really enough to get me through the day. I just want to curl up in a ball because I'm sore and lonely.

I can't wait one bit until next semester when I have a study hall and Advanced Video Production and no more Honors Government or Economics, get my scholarship applications and housing business done for college, and so on. I just can't wait to be finished with all of that stuff. 

I can hardly wait until the end of the week, for that matter. Not getting to talk to Andy every day has been driving me crazy, and it's only been about 24 hours since the whole debacle started. It makes me miss him. I miss being able to talk to my friends and play games and stuff too. I don't enjoy being grounded in this way at all. It's too lonely, and I hate being away from Andy and my friends like this. How am I going to make it through the week, let alone to Wednesday?!

If you wanna help put me through college, maybe...

Please help me win some money. Register with @CollegeXpress for free



Sorry for all the advertising, it just means a lot for me to get any scholarships I can!!!!

THE DEAL TO END ALL DEALS

SO I WAS CHECKING MY EMAIL AND IN MY PROMOTIONS MAILBOX I SAW AN AD FROM QUIRKY, WHICH MAKES A BUNCH OF RAD AND HELPFUL INVENTIONS AND IN THEIR CYBER MONDAY SALE THEY HAD A BUNCH OF STUFF FOR ONLY $1 WHICH IS REALLY EPIC AND SO I WAS ABLE TO GET SOME ADDITIONAL CHRISTMAS STUFF FOR MY SISTER AND MY PARENTS AND I ONLY HAD TO PAY $12.99 EVEN THOUGH I GOT 6 THINGS LIKE THAT IS SUPER RAD!!!! I MEAN I DID HAVE A COUPON FOR 20% OFF, BUT THAT ONLY APPLIED TO ONE OF THE ITEMS. ALL MY STUFF WAS TAX FREE AND SO WAS MY SHIPPING AND AHHHHHH I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

HERE IS THE LINK TO THAT GOOD STUFF LIKE FOR REAL CHECK IT OUT AND YOU'LL GET ME $15, WHICH ON THIS SITE BUYS A LOT!!!!


I'M SORRY FOR THE ALL-CAPS, I'M JUST REALLY EXCITED HERE!!!!!!!!

WOOP WOOP I'M DONE WITH MY STOCK PROJECT

NOW I CAN JUST WORK ON MY RESEARCH ESSAY UNTIL IT'S TIME TO GET TO BED!

Overall I'm just really stressed out, and it's not fun at all. 

GROUNDED

Last night, my mom discovered my texts to my sister that contained profanity, which lead to her digging up every little thing of mine (except for this blog), going through it, bemoaning my language, and grounding me from the use of my phone. I'm not sure if this will affect my work on this blog much, but I can never be too sure. I also have a lot on my plate this week with one-act rehearsals starting up, orthodontist appointments, and trying to find a replacement for work on Saturday so I can go to a close friend's Bat Mitzvah. I'm keeping my fingers crossed with that last one. My mom will kill me if I don't go. I also have to finish a research paper this week because I won't have the time to do it over the weekend. 

Well, I've been kinda productive but not really for the past few hours, so go me!

I'VE ACTUALLY MADE PROGRESS WHAT IS THIS?!

That's right, I've done things!!!!! I got things done!!!!! THIS IS REAL LIFE!!!!!!!

I DON'T WANNA DO ANYTHING

As much as I despise the song, "Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars basically sums up my day. I have no motivation. I want to nap. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I wanna jump off a cliff when I get to Honors Government... I wanna jump off a cliff just because I can.... 

Welp, my biology homework passed by surprisingly quickly! Now I just have to work on my Stock Market project for Economics and my domestic violence research paper for Morality! Aaaaaaand all the chores my mom has lined up for me...

I also want to try to get some exercise today. It just occurred to me that I'm going to be in Aruba over spring break, which means swimsuits and beaches and stuff... 

I wonder if I can match the pageviews I had last month.... I need about 100 more by the end of the day to get there, but I think I can handle that! Maybe. I really don't know. I guess it doesn't make much of a difference in the end, all that matters is that someone, somewhere is reading my blog and knows that I exist, and that's pretty freaking cool.

Oops...

Ohhh yikes I feel really bad because I've basically ignored my other two blogs all through the past week. I've gotta try to be better about posting on those blogs, but I've just been so so so so busy over break. I mean even my personal blog (this one) hasn't had nearly as many posts on it as per usual! Holidays always kinda mess me up when it comes to my motivation and stuff.

Also, I completely forgot that December is tomorrow and I still need to get some presents for people... oops.....

That shows how much attention I've been paying to the time all-around. 

I really need to kick my ass into gear with my homework- I haven't done a single thing that I had planned to do over break as far as the essays and projects go...

Yesterday

Yesterday I spent the day with Andy which is why I didn't blog at all. It was a fantastic day all around, and I already can't wait to see him again over Christmas break!

Black Friday

Today marked my first Black Friday working, and ohhhh boy was it something. I'm sure it's nothing compared to what workers at larger retailers like Walmart and Target or electronics/toy sellers deal with, but overall there was just a huge amount of people that I dealt with today. Nobody was really rude though, as I had expected them to be. I think a lot of people realized that "Hey, maybe these people have been here since some ungodly hour working and dealing with shitty people so I'm not going to be one of them!" It was pretty sweet. 

I got sent home early THANKFULLY. I'm not remotely in the mood to do any work, I'm beyond tired out. However, I need to do SOMETHING since I haven't done a damn thing all Thanksgiving Break.

Thanksgiving

Yesterday was long, but filled with food and overall very enjoyable. After eating Thanksgiving Lunch/Dinner with my family and celebrating my cousins' birthdays, I napped for awhile and then my dad and I drove home. My sister and mother went Black Friday shopping last night and then this morning. It snowed a ton overnight. 

When my dad and I got home, I went and filled my car with gas. Craving a Starbucks chai, I caved into my protest of the Starbucks where I used to work and went in and got one. It was delicious. I also tried it with soy milk and that was also really good! The craziest thing for me was the realization that a year ago that day I had been working the evening shift on Thanksgiving. It was kinda surreal; I've wiped a lot of my experience with Starbucks from my memory. They had a completely new staff working there, so now I don't really need to avoid going there since nobody there knows me anymore. 

When I was officially home I took a long nap/played Kim Kardashian Hollywood because I am an addict with no shame, washed some dishes, then made myself mac and cheese with bacon bits. Overall, it was a solid night.

Goodnight!

I really don't feel like going upstairs right now, or even moving for that matter.

What I'm Thankful for this Thanksgiving

Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I'm in a procrastinating mood right now, I want to go over all the things I'm ever so thankful for. I know I complain a ton, but I'm still very happy with my life. Here is the list, at least off the top of my head.

• I'm thankful for my family, especially my sister, for always being there for me. I'm really gonna miss my sister next year. Even though she annoys me a lot sometimes, she still is my closest friend no matter what.
• I'm thankful for Andy. No matter what happens, he's always there for me and always takes out time in his day for me. He cares about me more than almost anyone else on the planet, and he still is always trying to do more and more for me.
• I'm thankful for "fam," Abby, Dylan, and Tony. They keep me sane and for the first time in my life make me feel like I have constant and consistent friends. Not to mention they're all fantastic people!
• I'm thankful for all my activities and clubs at school. Even when they're stressful, just being a part of Film Club, Theater, Art Club, Food Club, and Newspaper is such a gift and an amazing opportunity.
• I'm thankful for Jasmine, the girl I tutor. She's the absolute sweetest girl on the planet and she makes tutoring so so so so worth it.
• I'm thankful for *most* of my teachers like my AP Bio teacher, my AP English teacher, my Newspaper adviser, and then the teachers who I no longer have in class but still check up with me whenever they see me in the hallways or before and after school, like my AP Euro/APUSH teacher. They make all the sucky things about school suck infinitely less. 
• I'm thankful for my roommates from Envision. Even though we don't talk as much as we used to, they're still always there for me whenever I'm having a really difficult time in my life.
• I'm thankful for Netflix and mac & cheese because duh!!!!!
• I'm thankful for my pets, Molly and Oreo. They're hella cute and their cuteness makes even the worst days infinitely better. 

Once again, I had a brilliant game plan for getting a ton of my work done, but I haven't even remotely started it. I kinda hate that about myself.

This afternoon/evening

This afternoon was pretty ehh, but I learned a lot of new things. I walked my dog with my sister and got my Achilles' Tendon cut so right now it hurts to wear anything on my feet/around my ankles. I went to a laundromat for the first time and  successfully washed a giant quilted yard blanket thingy. Then, I spent two and a half hours at the local Country Club's restaurant waiting for what ended up being the worst grilled cheese sandwich I've ever had. Now I'm home for the night, and I think I'm just gonna keep on looking for stuff for my Christmas/Birthday list.

I'M DONE WITH MY LOYOLA APPLICATION WOOP WOOP

Shopping Shopping Shopping

I basically threw the to-do list I made for myself today out the window, and I've decided to work some more on my Christmas list/stuff for college list. I should probably finish my Loyola Application, but I'm not even remotely in the mood to do that. I also have a scholarship application to do, as well as a few additional outside scholarships that I can work on. Aaaaand there's always the two projects, homework, and research paper that's worth over half of my grade for the semester that I can do....

Or I can put that all off.

Yesterday

All I can say about yesterday was that it was terrible and I hated every single second of it. On the bright side, I DON'T HAVE SCHOOL TODAY THANK THE POWERS THAT BE! I also don't think I failed my AP Bio test yesterday. That whole thing could've gone infinitely worse.

Everybody in general yesterday was so so mean to each other regarding the whole Ferguson situation. It really upsets me that absolutely nobody can treat people like human beings with dreams, aspirations, hope, and dignity. People talk about the protesters and rioters like they're animals, people talk about Mike Brown as if he's an animal, people talk to other people with differing opinions like they're animals. It's like the whole world forgot that the people around them have value, and that's just wrong.

I'm not even remotely in the mood to do anything; I don't know how on earth I expect to study honestly. It'll be a miracle if I can keep my grades up. 

Apart from that amazing news, today was rough. I had an in-class essay, a test that I forgot I had, and uggggggh Honors Government is the worst. Also, I'm incredibly upset with the fact that there is no such thing as justice since Officer Darren Unarmed-Black-Teenager-Killer Wilson got off scot free. It's just fucked up on so many levels and I can't do justice to discuss it.

GUESS WHAT?!

I GOT INTO DEPAUL AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My parents are still making me apply to freaking Loyola though, grrrrrrr....

GRRRRRR

My bio assignment is both easy and incredibly difficult!!!!!!!!!!!!

11/23/14

Today has been more ehhhhhhh than yesterday; there's no fun online shopping and seeing my friends and stuff and a lot more work/running around. I've been doing AP Bio work all  day. Tonight My family is having a little thank you reception for all of my dad's campaign volunteers, so I don't know if I'll be able to blog later or not. 

Fam Night

Last night was fam night with Abby and Dylan! Tony wasn't able to make it, unfortunately, but we still had a fun night. The three of us drove to Panera in my car and had dinner. Abby had mac and cheese in a bread bowl with lemonade, Dylan had broccoli cheese soup in a bread bowl with tea, and I had a pick 2 with mac and cheese and the Asian sesame chicken salad with a strawberry smoothie and a chocolate pastry. It was a solid meal. 

Through the rest of the night, the three of us watched Bob's Burgers, The IT Crowd, and Skyfall while googling attractive European soccer stars. Overall, it was a wonderful night!

Online shopping is kinda the best when you don't have to pay for a single thing! That's the best part about the whole Christmas/Birthday list making thing. I'm not really being that productive, but.... oh well.

Good Morning!

Right now I'm desperately searching for things to put on my Christmas list- I never know what I want! It's even more difficult because my birthday is a little less than a month after Christmas too, so I may as well just work on both now!

Goodnight!!!

Hopefully I'll be just as productive tomorrow!!!

Productive Night

I've made a ton of progress tonight and I'm really proud of myself! I did a ton of research for my essay, updated the spreadsheets for my stock project, found an article of mine that hadn't been published that I could submit as my third newspaper article, cleaned, worked on my Loyola application, and finished writing my AP Bio practice essay for the test on Tuesday! If it wasn't almost midnight, I'd probably study some. I may just look over some of the digital note cards I made for the last quiz since that information will surely be on the test in some way shape or form. I may make real note cards for myself sometime this weekend, and I definitely need to take a practice test online and do any other extra things I can. My grade in that class is hanging on a thread. It's the same thing in AP Stats, but I care a lot more about Bio since I feel like I struggle with it more than Stats, it's all a bunch of recall and there are a ton of high-fallutin' concepts involved. My GPA right now is a 3.999.... I mean come ON........

I'm actually kinda blazing through my to-do list right now... I'm pretty pleased with that, it'll make the weekend much less stressful as well as Thanksgiving Break. One of these projects is due the first day back from break, another the week after that, and my Loyola Application is due December 1st. Plus, I know we're about to start a project in Stats, and we're bound to get a book to read over break for English. On the bright side, Newspaper has been a lot less stressful since we've been spending these past few weeks prepping feature articles and columns and stuff for upcoming issues. It's pretty nice, having that out of the way. It'll be really convenient for planning out issues, as well. 

Welp, I've finished most of my Loyola application. It's definitely something special...

This is a great night now okay? Okay.

THE ONE ACTS LIST IS UP AHHHHHH!!!!!!

I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED I NOT ONLY GOT ONE OF THE ROLES I WANTED BUT I ALSO GET TO DIRECT A SHOW AND I'M SO FREAKING PUMPED LIKE AHHHHHHH ESPECIALLY AFTER THE FALL PLAY CAST LIST I WAS BEYOND WORRIED ABOUT GETTING A ROLE PERIOD LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS FANTASTIC AND IT'S FO SHO THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11/21/14

Today was a fairly eventful day! First off, I got a crapton of work to do over the weekend and next week. It's not looking very pleasant right now. I also have about ten gazillion other things to do this weekend and I feel like I'm drowning. I haven't even checked the cast list for the One-Acts yet because I'm so freaking nervous. I hate these feelings. I've got so much work: studying, prepping an AP Bio essay, working on my morality paper, writing a story for newspaper, applying to Loyola, and all my miscellaneous homework... Plus I need to get my schedule for work and that's just gonna be great...

I'm just not feeling today at all; I've been a zombie since I woke up. It's fun. School was definitely something; my friend Tony almost got in a fistfight in morality class because this guy didn't like what he had to say (even though it was absolutely true) and flipped out. If it wasn't for the giant football player holding this guy back, Tony probably would have a black eye right about now. I'm glad he's okay though. Overall, things have just been a cross between stressful and crazy.

GOODNIGHT, THANK GOODNESS I'M GOING TO BED NOW

STILL DEAD FYI

Still Dead

I'm dying. I still have tons left in my economics packet, plus my parents want me to apply to Loyola now and I just don't have the time! It's all killing me right now, my brain is soup.

RIP ME

It's been an hour. I've finished one and a half math assignments and part of a  Bio lab. I still have hella homework left.

UGGGGGGGGGGGGH I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL KILL ME PLEASE AND THANK YOU

11/20/14

Today was also hella hectic. I went straight from school to the last Thursday tutoring session. They too were having a party, but since these kids were older they had some better food. There was still pizza and cookies and pop, but there was also chips and salsa, veggies and hummus, buffalo chicken dip as well as spinach dip, chicken and fettuccine alfredo, pasta marinara, and "Dunkaroo Dip" which was basically an (incredibly delicious) imitation of the frosting that came with beloved 90's treat- Dunkaroos. Then, I drove home, ate a quick dinner, and ran down to work to fill out more paperwork. It was a long, cold process and I'm incredibly tired and I'm in no mood to start my homework. On the bright side, I'll probably be able to work starting on Monday. I'm a little concerned about how the schedule for the One Acts is going to work. I can't help but be nervous, I guess; I don't even know if I have a part in the show yet. I'm beyond nervous about that. 

I'm in absolutely no mood to start my homework now, but currently my GPA says that if I don't get to work NOW I'm going to be screwed.  

Yesterday

Yesterday was an incredibly hectic day; I was running all over the place! First, I rushed through my audition for the One Acts (which went pretty horribly, by the way) then I went to my last Wednesday tutoring session until late January. They were having a little pizza party, it was cute. After that, I drove out to my grandparents' house for dinner and to work on my homework. I was there for about an hour before I had to leave again to go back to school for Art  Club. We got pretty far with the banner, and there was an open house going on at the same time which was interesting. No callback lists were posted for the show. 

During the school day, my class got to go into our school's new chapel for a prayer service. I'm not really religious, but the chapel itself is absolutely gorgeous. It doesn't feel like a real part of the school! In the afternoon we had an ALiCE training drill. For those unfamiliar with ALiCE, it basically is the new procedure for what to do in the event of a school shooting/intruder in the school. It's pretty depressing that we have to actually practice that, but the drill itself is actually kinda fun. 

Overall, it was a pretty jam-packed day.

On that note, Goodnight!

Monologue Practice

I need to type this monologue out so I can remember it better for tomorrow. I don't really feel 100% ready, and after everything that happened with the last show I'm really nervous, so hear me out:

"What I WANT is somebody who not only knows my favorite coffee, but also my soul. Love me? You haven't MET me!

You thought you'd give the girl a thrill for once in her life?! I make my own thrills, darling. Hey, we're having our second fight!

Listen, I have plenty of love. I've got my family! Sure, they drive me crazy, but they love me! And my friends- I have GREAT friends. THEY love me! C'mon, look at what Valerie did for my birthday! I have plenty of love, pal. And I don't need some Don Juan wannabe. Guess what, Harold? We're breaking up. I'll remember the ten minutes we shared together with great fondness. But hey, this isn't half a couple standing here in front of you. I'm a whole couple all by myself! With a great family, incredible friends, and you know what... I even kinda like my job! So if I meet somebody in the end, that's fine! If I don't ALSO FINE! Got it? I don't need you."

THANKS.

IT IS NEARLY 9 PM AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED MY HOMEWORK YET LOLOLOLOLOLOL AT MY LIFE

I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT I GOT REALLY SICK LAST NIGHT AHHHHH SORRY

11/18/14

Oh my goodness it's been an incredibly hectic day!!!! I've been running around all over the place. First, I finished up 2001: A Space Odyssey in Film Club, then, thinking I had a bunch of extra time, went to Art Club for the first time. Art Club was great! All we did was paint a banner and talk and stuff; it was incredibly soothing. I ended up leaving around 4:30ish. Unfortunately, I forgot that I was planning to go in to work to fill out my paperwork at 5:00 so that they could rehire me! I did go in around 7:00, and I just got home from that. It only took about ten or so minutes. I'm very excited to be back to work again! I'm also planning out a night with Abby, Dylan, and Tony this weekend. 

Tomorrow are the auditions for One-Acts. I'm kinda nervous but also kinda excited at the same time. I'm gonna be working hard on that tonight. Possibly harder than I'm going to work on my homework! 

I'm just not feeling anything tonight. I don't even want to look at my homework; it's ridiculous. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to get the motivation to tackle it.

Never mind my homework is currently kicking my ass and I think i'm going to die. Tell my cat that he's a little shit and give my allowance to my sister...

Okay so my homework isn't nearly as bad as I thought, there's just a lot of little things I have to do that are spread out all over the place. It's not bad, but it's not very good either...

11/17/14

Today had its ups and downs, but overall it was very dull. My class lost the canned food drive double-throwdown, but on the bright side it helped a lot of people and gave our class a better lead overall. Unfortunately for our senior picnic purposes, a rich alumni's dad donated 10,000 cans to the freshman class because the girl is dating some kid's older brother. It annoys me, but at least it's going towards the greater good. 

I fell asleep on and off through most of my classes. It's just been a dull day, nothing good or nothing bad has happened. Now all I have to do is work through homework.

Yesterday

Yesterday was absolutely fantastic! Andy and I went out to lunch at Panera and then we went shopping for Christmas presents. I got a bunch of movies for everyone in my family, and I'm going to keep adding to that as it gets closer to Christmas. I think I'll get gourmet popcorn or something like that so there's a cute theme with the presents. Not having to do homework Sunday night was luscious as well. 

Goodnight!

Evil Apples

While I was procrastinating I got myself addicted to the Evil Apples game. It's a raunchy good time, if you've got the right mind for it. 

If you want to add me on it, I'm looking for more friends! My name is eedunnings. 

I FINISHED MUCH EARLIER THAN EXPECTED HELLS YES!!!!!!!!

PROGRESS

I've made a lot of progress on my homework, but I have to knock out the majority of a really really long Honors Government review sheet by 11:00 if I want to spend any meaningful time with Andy tomorrow. Wish me luck...

Oops

Ooops I'm going nowhere with my homework but at least I got addicted to Dutch Chocolate Almond Milk.

Hometwerk Update

I've managed to turn around and get a fair amount of my homework done. I still have a ton left, but at least I've made progress! Now I'm going to take a break to make myself dinner. I don't really want to put too much effort into it though. There's gotta be mac and cheese or something I can make.

Newest Blog

That's right- another new blog! I decided that the easiest thing for me to do with this blog would be to combine all my different media interests into one master blog. It's a bit simpler than the others, but as long as I can get my voice out there I'm happy. Here is the link to my multimedia blog!

I've sorta done stuff

It's been several hours and I still haven't done anything except newspaper stuff... I only just stared doing my other work. Way to go, Emily!

I really have to haul ass on my homework today because AHHHHH I'M SEEING ANDY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Saturday!

It's been a pretty laid-back morning so far. I haven't done very much other than eat toast for breakfast and call a few grocery stores to see if they'll donate cans for my school's canned food drive. My school's canned food drive is one of the biggest events of our school year. We bring in an insane amount of stuff; last year we brought in 47,000 cans! This year the goal is 45,000, and currently we aren't even halfway there yet,it's at something like 13,000 cans. It ends on Monday (although they may have extended it because this year it was shortened), so we're trying to get as many cans as possible for Monday. The grade that brings the most cans in gets a picnic at the end of the year (aka the senior picnic).

In addition to the hopes of reaching that goal, part of the canned food drive is the competition between first period classes to bring in the most cans. It's a general schoolwide competition, but most classes don't really care about that. What's really fun are the individual class throwdowns. My class has already done (and won) one, and currently we are involved with the first ever tag-team throwdown consisting of four senior classes teamed up against each other. No matter who wins this, it could easily cinch the senior class picnic for us. 

Despite all the fun competitive stuff, the best part of the canned food drive is being able to help so many people with all of that food. 

Goodnight!!!!

I hope y'all enjoy the new layout/theme and are interested in checking out some of the new content on my journalism portfolio blog! I'm really stoked about it all but it's getting to be super late and I should really get to bed soon, but I can't help but not sleep, I'm so excited!!!!

Cat Cafes

So apparently "cat cafes" are a thing now in Montreal! Andy was telling me about them and I firmly believe that they need to exist in the United States ASAP. Basically, you go to a cafe that has a gazillion cats inside of it and you just go around and cuddle whichever cats you want to cuddle and play with kitties all day!!!! That (besides the whole "I'm allergic to cats" thing) sounds like my kind of place! 

Blogging schemes

I think I might start operating a few more blogs now. Having just the one is great, but the weird thing about this blog is that it's not exactly cohesive. There's no one, unifying factor that gives it a theme. I started this as a food blog, then it gradually turned into a diary of sorts that people around the world have been reading. There's no structure to this blog, it's kinda all over the place. I don't mind it though, there's nothing wrong with a personal blog. Anyways, I'm going to try to put together a few blogs that better categorize my different hobbies and passions. I'm gonna take my recipes and put them in a "proper" food blog, keep up with my journalism blog, create a theater/film blog of reviews and other things, and perhaps a blog about feminism. Once I get them all created and get some content onto them, I'll post the links to them on here from time to time in case y'all want to check them out. 

TA DA NEW LAYOUT!!!!

BIG NEWS

I almost made a separate page for my newspaper articles, since I'm constantly talking about that class on this  blog, and I've made a separate blog instead! Here is the link to my new portfolio blog. I'll be posting my stories from both last year and this year. I no longer have any digital copies of my stories from my first year on the paper, but I may have a way to recover them. 

I really like the template that I have on my new blog, so I think I'm going to work on applying it to this blog.

I've spent the entire night working on a potential centerspread for newspaper all about feminism. For the next two weeks we're just gonna be working on feature articles, columns, and potential centerspread ideas- things that aren't time sensitive. I don't know if it'll ever see the light of day, but regardless I'm really proud of it. I already have a design idea for it. Regardless of if it gets in or not, I'll post the majority of it here just so somebody sees it! If there was some way for me to post a final design on here, I'll do that once I've got it.

11/14/14

Today my week went out with a fizzle instead of a bang. My throat feels less sore, but more scratchy and obnoxious than it did last night. It was just a rough day trying to get out of bed and get through the week. I survived the day fine, it just dragged on and on and on for ages. 

I'm just really thankful that it's the weekend. I'm sick of school and sick of a lot of the people in it at the moment.

Goodnight

Oh my goodness I'm only feeling sicker and sicker and sicker and I just can't have this happen right now... There's just too much going on right now and I absolutely can't miss tomorrow, and I wanna be healthy this weekend in case I actually get to see Andy and his family (I'm maybe gonna meet his brother from Montreal), get my work done, find time to pop into Famous for paperwork, and prepare for the Winter One-Acts audition! Now is not a good time to get sick!!!!! 

Goodnight!!!

Music from Tonight

I've been in a really weird mood music-wise lately. Here's the playlist I made for tonight that I've been playing through all of my homework.

Honestly I feel a bit sick right now. I've been sniffly and my throat has had the worst pain from drainage and I've had headaches on and off all day. I feel disgusting; I despise sinus infections. On the bright side, all of my college application stuff has been sent in! Now I've got that off my chest, so yay!!!!

Currently I'm just suffering through my Econ stock market project. 

Last night

Last night I had accidentally deleted my blog, but now I've restored it and I'm back up and running!
Visiting Andy and Matt was lovely last night. I described Carmongeddon to Matt, and he told me to tell our staff adviser that she needs to "cut the cord." (Matt was on newspaper with me last year, and he's Andy's best friend/roommate)

At least I get to see Andy!

11/12/14

Welp, the Cuban Missile Crisis (or as my friend Tony renamed it, Carmongeddon [It's her last name]) continues in newspaper. Other than that, it's been a pretty good day. 

GOODNIGHT!!!!!!

I not only finished what I needed to have done for tomorrow, but I also got myself ahead a day in two classes!!!! I haven't had any work in my other classes, but that doesn't make much of a difference. I'm really trying to stay on top of things. Now that my college apps are completely in (save for my transcripts) and I've grown accustomed to the coursework in my classes, things have been going much more smoothly at school. I'm really hoping to start working again soon. I need the money, and I miss the companionship. And I'm also looking forward to the Winter One-Acts. Those are less competitive, and since there are so many one-acts, it's easier to get a bigger part. I've missed theater. By the time the one-acts are performed, I'll be into my second semester and things will be infinitely easier for me!

Also, I GET TO SEE ANDY TOMORROW!!!!! We're heading up to Tower City while my sister is at her concert and my dad kills time at the casino. I'm really excited, but now I have to haul ass on my homework to get it done in a timely manner and be free tomorrow night. I think it's worth the effort though.

11/11/14

Happy Veterans Day!!! In other news, today was pretty tame, excluding dealing with the Cuban Missile Crisis in newspaper today. My co-editor has been incredibly frustrated and testy lately, believing there are a bunch of problems that don't really exist that only she can fix, and she's been lashing out a lot. Also, she and another editor on the staff have a lot of tension and animosity between each other and they've snapped at each other. All these things have made her start to think that she needs to quit the paper. Honestly, I think it would be best for her mental health if she did that. It'll take a lot of stress off of her plate, and it might help her out a lot if she didn't have to be so paranoid of other's responsibility levels. Something needs to be done though, because these problems and this drama has never existed on the staff.

Hopefully I can see Andy soon

After all the on and off days thinking that I'll be able to head up to CSU, I actually might be able to see him on Wednesday since my sister is going to the G-Eazy concert at the House of Blues!!!!!!! I'm pretty excited!

11/10/14

Today was infinitely better than I had expected it to be. My AP English Macbeth exam wasn't nearly as awful as I expected it to be, and so was my AP Bio test. Not gonna lie, I did BS a large portion of my essay and all of my short answer questions, but I still think that it's gonna be my best test of the year. 

In addition to all of that, I was able to sort out all of the business with my college letters of recommendation and turned in my transcript request forms. My standardized test scores were sent, my essays, my application, and 1/2 teacher recommendations. All I need now is the other recommendation, my transcript, and my school profile sheet in, and then I'm officially done with the COLLEGE application process. There's still housing and scholarship applications that I have to work on. It's just crazy to me that this is all happening so easily and it's been so painless so far. When I started high school I didn't expect it to be so short and so transient. I know some of the friends I made are going be transient as well, but others are going to be there for me through it all. 

When I look back on it, it has been a pretty fantastic Senior year for me. It's not perfect, sure, what with all the drama with the newspaper and then not doing the Fall play, as well as not getting to see Andy often or being able to work very much, but that can all change. I had called in to work the other day and soon they'll get back to me; if not this week I'll call at the end of the week or just stop down myself. I can always text my manager Amanda though, and that might even be the easiest way to work things out. And tryouts for the winter one-acts is next Monday. The schedule is supposed to be a lot less demanding, and that's just what I need. I miss theater a lot, and my school's theater group is too spectacular for me to just quit. And this is all before the semester ends!

Next semester I'll be done with two of my least favorite classes for good, I'll have a study hall with my favorite teacher as well as the fantastically fun Video Production class, and I'll be counting down the days until I graduate and move out to DePaul... Plus, I'll finally be able to do improv again!!!! 

Change is coming for me. Good changes. I know that It'll be scary from time to time, but I believe that I can survive this level.

I give up

Goodnight, if you can call it good.

I can't stop feeling sad right now because literally every chance I've had to see Andy, something has gotten in the way. No matter how hard I try it's like the universe just doesn't want to see me be truly happy.

Bleh

I'm still not done with homework. I still feel terrible. Nothing has changed.

Kill me now please

I'm not ready to take on more responsibility, nope nope nope nope what was I thinking?!

11/9/14

Today I had to get dragged along with my sister to a local protestant church for a religion project she had to do. It was alright, but I've been really sore and stiff lately from pulling hella muscles when I attempted to work out so that put a damper on things. 

Today has also been hella stressful because nobody worked on the Honors Gov project except for me, and by the time someone had started doing something she was basically reiterating everything that I had already said in the presentation and she was changing a bunch of stuff with the format and design of our presentation. It's my co-editor-in-chief, the girl who micromanages everything to the point where nobody wants to work with her. In addition to that, the newspaper is supposed to go to print this Wednesday and I have hardly seen any stories, and I only just finished my story about the girls soccer team because the girl who was taking notes didn't send me her notes until I reminded her about three hours ago.

On top of all of that, I still have a huge Honors Gov packet to finish, an AP Bio test to study for, an English exam to prep for, and I have to make time to exercise and do some chores. 

Needless to say, I'm fucking stressed.