Goodnight.

Fuck everything I'm going to bed.

Low Moment Y'all

Ugggggggggh now I have to deal with the freaking Carmongeddon bullshit tomorrow on top of this dumbass project, my placement tests, prom dress bullshit, AP Bio test that I'm not prepared for at all crap, and a ton of other bbullshit that isn't coming to my head at the moment. This week is going to suck more than last week did. At least I had a light at the end of the tunnel last week, you  know? This week I have nothing. There's the state theater conference, but to be honest I don't really want to go since I'm the reason my school doesn't get to see Spring Awakening, I'm not performing in an individual event, and I'm stuck rooming with two girls I barely know and another girl I don't even like since all of my "friends" just HAD to room together. It would have been better if I just didn't sign up. They'd get to see their musical and they wouldn't have me weighing them down as a person who needs a room. Good god and I'm trying desperately to lose some weight, but that's looking highly unlikely, especially with my sister stuffing me with fast food in an attempt to "make me feel better." I feel fucking sick and I want to vomit. I'm not going to finish my project, and let it be known that I don't even care anymore. I can't take it right now, I can't take any of it. I just keep feeling worse and worse. 

I give up.

I hate everyone and everything indiscriminately at the moment.

Now I'm just really furious with everyone and everything. Andy's making me feel worse, my sister is trying to make me feel better by making me eat but when you feel fat that is the LAST thing you want to do, my mom isn't making things better, when I looked at the prom pictures from last year I only felt worse seeing how fucking fat I looked, and my dad thinks this is just some fucking hilarious joke. 

I haven't been able to stop crying somebody help me

I HATE MY MOTHER RIGHT NOW

We went back to the shop where I found my two dresses, and it was wonderful! We were about to buy the one that my mom thought was cheaper (because she's a goddamn cheapskate who doesn't care about my personal happiness) when we find out that the dress was actually DOUBLE the price that we though it was (it was almost $500!!!!!!). This made it an automatic "no" from my mom, even when I offered to pay for half or more of it. Now she wants me to wear the dress I wore last year that makes me look SOOOOO fat and pale and unattractive and I'm really really really really fucking upset right now. I feel unattractive and like a fatass and I still have so much fucking schoolwork to do I want to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugggggggggggh

There's absolutely no way that I'm going to finish this project in time. It sucks, but that's life I guess.

I just got back from taking my cat to the vet! It went really well and very smoothly. My allergies have been really messed up by the whole situation, though. I can't stop sneezing and sniffling all over the place, I just want to be able to breathe through my nose again!!!!!

Good Morning!!!!

I'm up bright and early to put in work on my poetry project before we take my cat to the vet and before we go back to the store to determine which dress I'll get for Prom. I only have one analysis written, total... Neddless to say, I need to get on it!!!!!!!!!!!