Also, the Blogger calendar is way off. It says that I'm just starting the month of September even though it had already been tallying September and it's all just a clusterfuck like the rest of my life.

9/30/14

Today was awful. I don't have the time nor energy to go into it all, but let's just say that there were lots of tears on my part and lots of work that needs done in general.

Welp, I finished only one of my homework assignments. This is rad. Really rad.

I have no motivation to tackle my mountain of work whatsoever and I ain't even mad

School is hard, screw it

I'm so tired right now. I give up on everything.

Good morning!

Today I'm gonna be very busy doing my homework. I have a ridiculous number of essays to complete/revise for English class, tests to study for, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I was supposed to go to Food Club tonight, but I just don't know if it will be possible. I hope I can, though! Today I also want to exercise in some way. While dress shopping yesterday, it really hit me how much weight I've gained since I got back from New York in July. I keep telling myself that I'll start once my schedule frees up, but if I don't start now it'll be so much harder for me to make any progress. Just starting with something small every day will help a lot to at least balance out my metabolism.

9/27/14

Yesterday was the giant game against our rival. It's where LeBron James went to high school. Usually he makes it out to the game, but not this year. For the first time in 8 years, we almost won. We started off excellently, leading well into the third quarter. Eventually, we went into triple overtime, which, after being humiliated year after year after year, is a big freaking deal. I don't even care about football that much, but it was just so insane!

Today I did door-to-door campaigning for my dad, which was hot and tiring and miserable. After that, my sister and I went homecoming dress shopping, which was stressful. In the end I found a dress that I liked and fit in, so thank goodness!

Mum Day

Every year before my school's football game with our rival, we are silent for the entire day. This has been going on for over 50 years, it's kind of a big deal. Last night, my class decorated the entire school and slept over. It was hard work, but it was a ton of fun and it was amazing to see it all come together. Also, a friend of mine asked me to homecoming and now I feel a lot better about all of that.

LORDE WAS PHENOMENAL OH MY GOODNESS I WISH THE CONCERT COULD'VE LASTED FOREVER!!!

Goodnight!!

Goodnight! I'll try to check in after the concert tomorrow night. It's gonna be really busy for me Thursday Friday and Saturday as well because Thursday night is the Senior Lock-In and Friday is Mum Day and the  game against our rival school.
I'll fill y'all in on what all of that means, probably with pictures, when I post next.

9/23/14

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile! It's been a very eventful past few days. I'll give you the long and short of it.

Saturday: I went up to Playhouse Square in Cleveland and did my acting classes with CPH College. It was a ton of fun. After that, I went and met up with Andy at Cleveland State. I was pleasantly surprised with the school, the campus was really nice! We watched the worst movie ever, Standing Ovation, on Netflix with his roommate/longtime BFF/my friend Matt and caught up. On the way out, I ran into a girl who I did community theater with in 8th grade! Ironically, she's dating one of his other roommates.

Sunday: I went to the first Food Club meeting at this adorable little Mexican restaurant called La Loma in Akron. It was very delicious, authentic, and cheap Mexican food.

Monday: It was an ehhh day. On the bright side, I had a really good French Vanilla Coolatta from Dunkin' Donuts in the morning, and I found a teacher willing to moderate Film Club!!!

Tuesday, today: The biggest part of the day is where I got asked to go to the Lorde concert tomorrow night, and needless to say I didn't pass that up!!!! I can't wait to go!!!!

I finished my government and some of my English homework!!!! Now I'm trying to read some of "The Knight's Tale" from The Canterbury Tales. The love interest's name is Emily, so every time I see that I always think "Awww geez, Geoffrey Chaucer.... Who knew that the most popular girl's name of the mid to late 1990's was just as popular in the mid to late 1390's?"

I just applied for a bunch of scholarships, go me!

9/19/14

Today was a lot better than yesterday. It went kinda slow and it had a lot of meh moments (a bazillion errors in the paper that EVERYBODY catches and makes fun of us for, more stupid stupid Homecoming proposals, getting gypped by Starbucks, and more), but as a whole it was fine. I'm pretty sure I did well on my AP Bio test, and that was the most difficult thing I've had to do today. Plus, I get to do fun theater shtuff and see Andy tomorrow, so yay!

I somehow survived this week, and if I keep my chin up I can survive next week. And the next week, and the next week, and the next week...

Goodnight

I'm calling it quits. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday and I get to see Andy on Saturday. I just need the week to end, I'm so so tired of everything.

On top of all that, I'm worried about getting film club back on its feet. Even though I don't have to go through the approval process again, the teacher who was the moderator doesn't have the time to moderate the club this year since he's doing other stuff and moderating a new club, so I have to try to find somebody interested in doing that. Plus, I haven't even brought this idea up to my parents yet. I'm sure they'll say yes since I quit the play, but I can never be positive. I really want to do this, because I desperately miss film club and I don't want it to die. It's the last piece of Andy I have at school, and I want to preserve it as best I can.

I have my first AP Bio test tomorrow and I'm pretty terrified. I may as well just kiss my GPA Goodbye for the rest of the semester. School is just getting to be too much.

Uggggggggggh I HATE DANCE PROPOSALS UNLESS THEY ARE HAPPENING TO ME MAKE THEM STOOOOPPPP

9/18/14

Or, why I hate School Dances

Today wasn't the best day for me. About ten gazillion people were asking each other to Homecoming, and it kept hitting me that that wouldn't be happening for me. Prom last year was already one dance too many for Andy, so I wouldn't want to put him through any more. We talked it through awhile ago, and he said that he'd be okay with me going with guy friends as dates to dances, so I was thinking that maybe something like that would happen this year. But nope! I want to go to Homecoming, but I don't want to go alone. It's a Catch-22 because my boyfriend doesn't want to go and would be happy if somebody asked me to go, but nobody is going to ask me to go because I have a boyfriend.

I just hate walking around and seeing all these cute and sweet things happening to my girlfriends and other girls at my school, and knowing that nothing like that is going to happen for me. The only reason that my boyfriend asked me to Prom in a cute way (He wrote me a series of notes and then made a playlist that spelled out PROM, I saw it coming from the first note but I let him go crazy with it!) was because everybody was bugging him about how he was going to ask me. When he told me that at the time, it really hurt my feelings because his heart really wasn't in the whole prom thing at all. Basically, that half-hearted asking is about as close as I'll get to the cute little things so many guys do.

It seems really trivial and stupid, I know, but I can't help but feel that way about all of the school dance business. I'm a hopeless romantic, and I love the little things like that, even if they "won't matter in the long run." It's the thought that counts, and it hurts a lot that nobody's thinking of me,

School dances for me have been disasters for me as a whole. No matter what dance I've been to, there's always been something wrong. Freshman year, my boyfriend was a dick and I didn't really like to dance during anything but slow songs so it was painfully awkward. Sophomore year was easily the worst. For Homecoming, I had been freshly dumped and my ex had brought a date from another school, and on top of that nobody asked me, AND the group of "friends" that I was planning on going with kicked me out because I didn't have a date. Needless to say, we aren't friends anymore. The winter formal was supposed to be better, but it was also awful. The weekend before the dance, after I bought my dress and the tickets and everything, the guy that I was dating dumped me over the phone and I was dateless. Being alone there was just too much for me, I was miserable at the dance and I spent most of it crying in the bathroom.  Junior year I didn't go to any of the dances besides Prom. It was ok, I didn't miss out on anything missing those dances. Prom was just a hassle with getting dressed and all the other fancy shtuff and we hardly did anything but eat and sit around at our table. Literally we sat the entire time and made fun of the music.

This year, I feel obligated to go to all the dances since it'll be the last time that I'll ever have to deal with dances ever, plus all my girlfriends are pressuring me to go. And I do want to; I love getting all dolled up and everything. I just don't want to go through it alone, because dances alone make me miserable.

I pretty much gave up on my Beowulf essay! I'll be at school so early tomorrow that I can finish it easily enough before school.

Even though I got a lot of rest today, I still feel really tired and bleh and sick. I just need to finish and tighten up this essay, then I'll be in good shape to get to bed. Hopefully early; my sister needs to get to school early so it's not really a late-start Thursday for this girl. I just want the week to end.

9/17/14

Today was easily the best day of the entire school year for me. My mom let me sleep in and go to school around lunchtime, I got Chipotle, did my nails, and finally finished the first issue of the newspaper and sent it to print. Newspaper was the only class I went to today, thanks to round 2 of the Revolutionary War Day. I wish every day was like today!

Goodnight!

I officially give up for the night! I got pretty far on my essay. I just have to finish one body paragraph and the conclusion, and then read through it and fix my errors and clumsier language. I'm pleased, but also beyond tired. Sleep tight!

Tomorrow is going to be a ratchet day for me- glasses, no shower, hair up, no jewelry, minimal makeup, sleeping in a lot. I NEED IT!!!!! I have to get better by Saturday when I go up to Cleveland and visit Andy and do my workshops. If I get as much done as possible now, I can get to bed super early tomorrow night. I'm talking like, 9:00ish. That's be a miracle.

It's kinda sad that I've reached a point in my life where getting to bed early is a dream come true, literally. This must be what getting old feels like.

The math wasn't too painful. Now back to the essay...

I have to step away from my English essay to work on my math and other homework. I really should have done what I could last night, but I was just too lazy... I have to get better about that.

Also, I just changed my domain name because I was beginning to think that the "foodandstuff" was pretty inaccurate since I hardly get to posting recipes. Oops!

9/16/14

Today was a very interesting day. I spent most of the day outside with the majority of the senior class for the "Revolutionary War Living History Day." Basically, all the Honors Government students and anybody who had the Honors Gov. teacher last year gets together and sets up a bunch of stations to teach area fourth and fifth graders about Ohio's only Revolutionary War fort (Fort Laurens). The program is really elaborate and fantastic. This year the teacher got a $50,000 dollar grant from the state of Ohio, and believe me, he put it to use. The program has authentic costumes, equipment, guns, EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN. They have a printing press, a trebuchet, a working cannon, muskets galore, all kinds of authentic tents and furniture, and surveying equipment. They even brought in a horse this year! One cool thing that they're doing with the program, starting this year, is taking it on the road. They'll get to go to Marietta, Ohio, Cincinnati, Columbus (performing in the lawn of the Statehouse, no less!), and possibly Mount Vernon.

My station was "writing letters home to Ma and Pa," which was the easiest station to work because you didn't have to interact with anyone and you pretty much just stand around all day. It was still so interesting seeing everything going on at once.

I'm ridiculously tired right now and I have a terrible headache. I'm gonna try to get to bed early.

9/15/14

Today was pretty slow. Not a lot happened except I found out that I'll get to visit Andy this Saturday! I'm pretty excited about that. Also, I'm thinking about restarting the school's film club since I don't have to worry about play rehearsals and stuff. It'll be nice, if I can do it.

I'm kicking Homework's ass!!!!!!!

My sister left her driver's license in my dad's car, so it looks like I'll be driving her to work and can get myself some ice cream! One craving down, one to go!

I'm really really really craving ice cream and Biscoff cookie butter. That's all I need right now. Just that...

9/13/14

I feel much better after having left the show. I'll miss my theater friends and the thrill of performing, but I know I'll be okay and better off in the long run. Yesterday I did a fair deal of homework, but I still have a long way to go.

Last night was also my dad's big 50th Birthday Bash, and it was pretty fun excluding the fact that we were outside and it was cold and it made my sickness worse. We rented the Swenson's (a local drive-in burger place that is fantastic) food truck and it was glorious! There was a little mix up with the fry cooks where they gave my grandma jalapeno poppers instead of chicken nuggets, but it was wonderful to get all that food!

I've done it

I quit the play. I can't believe I did it.

9/12/14

This is one of the worst days of my life. The cast list came out, and I was completely blindsided. The director didn't double cast the show and I got a really shitty part. I felt really really awful, and I think I might quit the show. I want to talk it through with the director, but I just don't know. I'm already overstretched as it is, and my health is turning to shambles and I don't think I can handle the time and the effort for something I don't care about.

Goodnight

I'm done, I'm defeated, I give up. Goodnight. Hopefully tomorrow will be ok. Just not terrible, that's all I want. Just a day where I don't want to cry my eyes out and I can actually concentrate on something. I wish I had the power to give up everything, but with the classes I'm taking that is not an option. My only hope is to make it through this semester. Then I know that I'll survive this year.

I finally finished the lab report for AP Biology, but I still have a bunch of work to do tonight alone.What's even worse is that I don't even get to enjoy sleeping in tomorrow because my mom scheduled a dermatoligist appointment at 7:45... That and then getting bagels with my sister was the only thought getting me through the week, and now it's gone.

I did another homework! It was a big one, this time!!!! Now onto the next one...

I did ONE homework... that's gotta count for something...

9/10/14

Today was a pretty boring day as far as school goes. Just a lot of bleh. On the bright side, tomorrow is a late start Thursday, so at least I'll get to sleep in!

I had callbacks after school. I'm feeling fairly confident about the play in general, so yay!

After callbacks, I went to my sister's golf match. There was a tornado warning so I was trapped there for quite some time with her and her team. I'm glad to be home now, I just have zero motivation for working on my homework!

Goodnight, y'all!

Don't let the bedbugs bite!

Goodnight, y'all!

Don't let the bedbugs bite!

Awww the showmance in my improv group ended and they're both really sad and it's bleh. Breakups are the worst, whether it's your own or friends breaking up.

bleh.

9/9/14

No surprise: I have a callback audition tomorrow. I have such a horrible headache that I'm not even going to bother studying for my Economics test tomorrow or doing my math homework. Getting as far as I did making a lab report for AP Bio is a miracle in itself, so I'm calling it a night as far as homework goes.

TODAY WAS AWFUL AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.

Goodnight!

I'm calling it quits. Goodnight all!

aaaaaaand it didn't. Ok. Cool.

Also, blogger has been posting all of my posts twice for some reason, and I can't quite delete a post for some reason! So sorry for all of that! I'm sure this post will repeat anyways, just because.

Another Surprise!

I actually finished all of my homework on time and before midnight!!!!!!!!!! This is cause for celebration, but instead I'm just gonna keep working on stuff for newspaper!

Another Surprise!

I actually finished all of my homework on time and before midnight!!!!!!!!!! This is cause for celebration, but instead I'm just gonna keep working on stuff for newspaper!

Surprise surprise, I'm actually doing well on my mountain of homework...

Surprise surprise, I'm actually doing well on my mountain of homework...

Oh, and it's also my dad's 50th birthday today!

9/8/14

Auditions today went pretty well! There were a ton of kids who had never done theater ever before, so it sucks for them since there are only 10 speaking parts and our director is more likely to pick people he trusts and has worked with before...

I'm feeling pretty confident.

Other things from today:
My co-editor-in-chief had a hissy fit today because nobody had their stories completely ready and she was mad at the world for not bending to her will. She started snapping and yelling at everyone, even our adviser. Being around her gives me headaches. I appreciate her skills, but I do not appreciate the way she treats other people: as if all they are are means to an end for her. Preferably an end where she gets all the praise for her contributions.
It's really annoying, because while I'm busting my ass helping people out any way I can, writing my three stories in three days, and editing stories for the paper she won't even take the time to write one! I understand that she does design work, but if she's going to enforce a standard, she sure as hell shouldn't be exempt from it. That's my philosophy. I just feel bad about the situation overall.

Goodnight

I'm too tired to carry on right now. I did a ton of work this weekend, and I know that only more is coming my way. It's super reassuring! Goodnight, don't let the massive amounts of work bite!

Goodnight

I'm too tired to carry on right now. I did a ton of work this weekend, and I know that only more is coming my way. It's super reassuring! Goodnight, don't let the massive amounts of work bite!

AND I'M INCREDIBLY TIRED OUT FROM ALL OF IT LIKE CAN THE UNIVERSE NOT? K THANKS!

I'm back...

I just spent 6 HOURS EDITING STORIES LIKE THAT IS RIDICULOUSLY LONG!!!! AND I STILL HAVE TO MEMORIZE MY MONOLOGUE AND THEN THERE'S ALSO THE STATS HOMEWORK THAT I HAVEN'T STARTED YET IT'S JUST REALLY REALLY REALLY GRAND DONTCHA KNOW!

9/7/14

It's been a relatively lazy Sunday for me. I've just been working on homework and working on my monologue for auditions tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous. I'm sure I'll get a good part, but it's still a nerve-wracking experience. Just uggggggggggggggh nerves!!!!!

Goodnight, Everybody!

Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.

WOOT WOOT

I finished another! I'm on a roll!!!!!!!!!

WOOT WOOT

I finished another! I'm on a roll!!!!!!!!!

WOO I GOT ANOTHER HOMEWORK DONE YAAAAAAAAS EM YASSS

9/6/14

Today was my last day as an LTE for Famous Footwear. I'll hopefully pick up work again sometime in November, I'm not quite sure exactly when yet. It was a slow day, but I made my sales goal and I think I met my numbers as a whole. Fingers crossed that the district manager hires me back! Now my focus is shifting  to school and especially the Fall play this year, which is Neil Simon's Fools. It's a comedy and a good show, so yay, but there's also only ten speaking roles. I'm sure I'll get one, but I can't help but get nervous.

WOOT WOOT ONE OF MY HOMEWORK'S IS DONE WOOT WOOT

9/"4"/14 (AKA Why School Sucks)

Last night my sister had a golf match that ended at 9:00 and I had a ridiculous amount of homework, so I didn't have time to post anything yesterday.  On the bright side, it was the first of the "late start Thursdays" where school doesn't start until 9:20. It was fantastic. School still was rough because of the ridiculous amount of homework I have to do and all the damage the stress of keeping up has caused me. I've already gained weight even though I'm eating less from the lack of time to exercise, I have constant headaches from tension, I've been having a lot of stomachaches from worrying, and being sleep deprived has been killing me.
     This is the first year that school has had such obvious and negative effects on me physically, mentally, and emotionally, and I'm only two weeks in. I thought last year was bad, with my breakdown in October, but right now I'm in much much worse than I ever was last year.

Thank goodness we're starting "late-start Thursdays" tomorrow....

Oops my 9/2/14 post accidentally got deleted!

Also, in response to the issue of the summer reading essay's and my English teacher- I actually did surprisingly well on the essay! I got a C-, whereas most kids got an F or a D-.

9/3/2014

So today was pretty ehhh, but I had the pleasure of CALLING THE FREAKING WHITE HOUSE during my Honors Government class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I quit. Goodnight!

Welcome to Struggletown, Population: ME

I DON'T WANNA

I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW AND I DON'T WANNA DO MY HOMEWORK TONIGHT AND ALL I WANNA DO IS CUDDLE ANDY AND EAT MAC AND CHEESE LIKE IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR I DUNNO

Ok, I've done some homework! I did my Economics and wrote interview questions for Newspaper, which is an ehh start. I still have to finish Beowulf and write a thesis statement and study dates for English, then I have a ton of Stats homework, and a worksheet for Honors Government. It's still gross.

Labor Day

I had to work today, and currently I'm procrastinating from both cleaning my room AND doing my mountain of homework. What fun!!!!!

Last night Andy stopped by to visit me and it was the best part of my week. We watched The Spoils of Babylon, which basically makes fun of the soap opera Dallas, and it was extremely funny.

Adventures in Babysitting: 8-29-14

Megan and I babysat for the guests at my mother's friend's daughter's wedding. I had done it before; there was only one little girl there and she fell asleep withing 5 minutes. It was easy money, and that was how I expected it to be the other night. Oh my goodness were we wrong.

We were told ahead of time that the mothers of the kids would head back to the hotel with them to get them in their pajamas and put them to bed. This did not happen. We were also not given any estimate of how many kids there would be. THERE WERE 10 CHILDREN. TEN HYPER UNCONTROLLABLE CHILDREN. Eight of them were relatively docile, but there were two girls who were little jerks. One was 11 and was absolutely determined to stir the pot in any way. She tried to swim in the hotel's fountain, she repeatedly tried to sneak out, and she kept trying to steal money from my wallet, just to name a few things. The other girl was 3, and it was obvious that her parents have never said no to her ever. All she did was scream and beg for sugary things. It was hell.

And you know how much we were paid for this arduous task? $50. That's $10 per child, split between my sister and I. Nowhere close to enough for the ordeal we went through that night.