Relaxing tonight

I'm about to have a very relaxing evening. My birthday celebration has been postponed again, so I'll have all day tomorrow to do my math and work on AP Bio! I may have even more time since a snow day has been predicted for Monday, as well.

My sister is bringing me home pancakes and I can't wait; I just want to eat that warm fluffy goodness and then take a nice long nap. I'm running on two and a half hours of sleep, and that is something I would never wish upon anybody!

Area Conference

First things first, this conference was incredibly lame. Only six schools showed up, so it was pretty mediocre to begin with. Then, pretty much everything else was incredibly meh. All the shows that screened outside of our one-acts- one about the dangers of heroin and one that was basically a metaphor about the Israel-Palestine conflict- were pretty dull and melancholy. We were honestly the only comedic aspect of the entire conference! The workshops weren't very helpful/interesting and I didn't really care for the instructors at all. They had brought in Chipotle for lunch, but since everything was premade you couldn't really get what you wanted (like I had to deal with salsa and black beans! I mean I'm cool with the beans but black beans aren't my first choice) and all of the burritos were cold, which was highly unpleasant. Basically, the best thing about the conference was seeing some of my friends from other high school theater programs and from my school. Now I'm just ridiculously tired!

Goodnight!

My Dream Interview with Bill O'Reily

Bill: Thank you for coming here toni-
Me: So what's it like being a grumpy old man?
Bill: Whaaaa-
Me: Did you get a chance to tell some young whippersnappers to get off your lawn? I hear that's always great recreation as your body slowly and painfully fades into oblivion and your mind and senses begin to fail you as your days quickly become numbered.
Bill: EXCUSE
Me: NO! BAD BILL! Sit. Stay. Shut the fuck up and let me finish talking for once in your life. Do you invite people here just to talk over them?! That's not much of an interview or a discussion or whatever the fuck you want to call it! AND HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THE IRONY IN CALLING A NEWS OUTLET "PROPAGANDA" WHEN YOU WORK FOR FUCKING FOX NEWS?!"

*mic drop* and walk away...

I HATE BILL O'REILY

Good lord Bill O'Reily needs to die already and save the world a lot of trouble. A woman on FunnyOrDie.com is challenging him to a fistfight for tearing apart her sister on his show. Her sister is a journalist who wrote an article criticizing American Sniper. He called her a "propagandist" a "dictator" and a "terrorist sympathizer" and all these other ridiculous things. He always invites people onto his show and never lets them say their piece. He literally told a guy that he was a "nut" within the first thirty seconds of their "discussion." The discussions on that show are really one-sided, it's just Bill O'Reily not letting people finish their fucking sentences while spewing his half-crazed rantings.

My new goal in life is to troll Bill O'Reily on his show before he can troll me. I will interrupt him at every turn, ask him degrading questions just as he does, and under no circumstance allow him to finish his sentence.

I finally finished reading, oh my goodness! The book itself is very intriguing and significant, it's just easy to get lost in thought and take forever on a section.

I'm trying to get through the section of Gulliver's Travels that I had for homework over the weekend, but I just don't have the motivation right now!!!!

Tomorrow I'm heading to the Northeast Ohio Area Theater Conference. It's not necessarily the best conference, but each one is what you make of it! My one-act show is performing, and I'm definitely looking forward to that. I never got to perform at any conference before, so I'm pretty pumped, even if it's only Area. Like my freshman year, they took the murder mystery (that I had a lead role in!) to the State Conference and it was incredibly popular. The thing was that we had two casts and only one could perform at States, so I opted not to attend the conference that year. I wish I had, because I always hear such wonderful things about it. My sophomore year was a dud year for theater because we switched directors. None of our shows were invited to Area or States. My junior year we switched back to our former director, and the shows themselves improved immensely. Our fall play's set was far too elaborate to take to States, so even though we were adjudicated by a NEOdTA representative and had excellent reviews from them, we would not have been able to perform at the conference anyways. Our murder mystery that year was also asked to perform at States, but since we would arrive back at the beginning of the Musical's tech week and half of the murder mystery cast was in the musical, we did not perform the show to States, even though everyone in it attended the conference. Of course, the one play that I don't do this year gets taken to States! I'll still be needed to help out backstage and with tech and stuff, but that's never the same as performing. 

So even though tomorrow's conference is tiny and fairly insignificant, I'm just happy to be performing.

On the bright side, I hardly have any homework so I can get a fair amount done tonight!

I just had a three-hour long nap and it was GLORIOUS! I have to wake up ridiculously early tomorrow so I'm going to be incredibly tired.

So you know how I was super nervous for Newspaper today?

It turned out that I didn't need to be. We were only doing individual self-evaluation work with our adviser, so there was no drama whatsoever. However, my co-editor is very very very very angry nonetheless and set up a meeting with the school principal and I! I don't really feel so much that it's necessary; she's being somewhat emotional about all of this stuff, but if she goes there alone it'll turn into this big mess. I have to be there to try to put things in perspective. I try to stay out of drama, but with my position I'm always sucked right into the middle of it!

Goodnight!!!!!

So about that whole "getting to bed by 10:30" thing? Yeaaaaahhhhh I'm all hyper now so that isn't about to happen! 

So I'm kinda nervous about tomorrow...

In class today during Newspaper, we had a guy from the company that is developing our app talking to us about how to use some of the features. It was interesting, and I'm looking forward to seeing how things turn out! After that, however, the staff adviser revealed that even though I thought another girl I worked with this morning and I were able to send the issue to our printer properly, there were several pages that had some sort of "error" and we can't print until next week. She said things about "feelings flying around" and other things of that ilk and that tomorrow, some people would be working on playing with the app software and then others are going to have a lovely private chat with her about all the things that went wrong. There's no way that I am not at this meeting, with my position. I just know something terrible is going to happen and somebody is going to be incredibly upset and tears are probably going to happen somewhere along the line. I've dealt with enough tears in that class this year, whether they're mine or someone else's, and I'm not in the mood to handle even more.

900th Post!!!!

I JUST HAVE TO FILM ONE SCENE AND THEN I AM DONE PRAISE BE!!!!

Also, HOLY CRAP 900 POSTS!!!!!!!!!!

My math homework was actually INCREDIBLY easy, so all I have left to do tonight is read some more of Gulliver's Travels for English and film one short scene for Video Production and I'm done!!! It's glorious! I think I can be in bed by 10:00 and that makes me want to cry tears of joy!!!!!!!

I have a terrible headache right now and I just want to sleeeeeeeeeep

Ugggggghhhh I don't want to do my homework or anything right now; I just want to lie in bed and wait for the week to be over already! Tomorrow needs to go as fast as humanly possible...

1/29/15

Today was atrocious. Well, this morning was really atrocious, the rest of the day was a blur. 

So I get up early as can be so I can get to stupid school to read the stupid paper before the stupid printer's stupid deadline. Even still, I'm running late due to traffic. I nearly got killed by an idiotic woman who wouldn't wait for me to pass her before she switched lanes who nearly drove into the passenger's side engine of my car. Thankfully, I'm quick to get on my horn and gave her an earful. I actually rode her tail for a while, blaring my horn. I always do that to people who try to kill me. After that, I may have been caught by a traffic camera in Akron on my way to school. I was accelerating after a stop sign and saw a bright flash of light from a large Plexiglas box and knew I was done for. 

None of this would have happened if I hadn't been manipulated by this girl. None of it! I was rushing to get up the hill to school because I knew that if I was late she'd be so so angry and would not hesitate to publicly berate me. I get to the room, holding back tears from my frustrating drive in, my guilt from having to lie to the one girl, and the shitty feeling of being manipulated. SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE!!!!!!  The nerve of her, to manipulate me and hurt me like that and send me through this pile of shit to not even show up!!!!!! I didn't even end up having to do anything for the paper anyways. I was just a warm body in the room. I could have been a warm body in bed, and for that I am incredibly angry. 

Goodnight.

I hate everything.

Kinda funny how the scholarship essay I'm working on right now is all about optimism when I'm incredibly pessimistic and nihilistic! It's kinda strange how I'll always try to convince myself that I'm an optimist. Maybe a part of me believes that if I say it enough, it'll happen! I guess that's optimism in and of itself...

I hate everything. God is dead. There is no meaning to life. You go through shitty experience after shitty experience and then you die. A++ JOB, UNIVERSE!

Things just got infinitely worse...

Guess what?! MORE NEWSPAPER BULLSHIT!

That's correct- the whole situation just keeps getting worse and worse and worse! So you remember how I wasn't supposed to let the girl whose editorial got pulled know that it happened or else World War IV would happen? Well she asked me if things were finished and if she could come in early to help finish putting the issue together. Ordinarily, this would have been just fine! Except if she came in early, she'd learn all about what happened with her editorial... 

So, my staff adviser and the girl who gave me the instructions in the first place instructed me to lie my way out of it. I did, and I feel atrocious for it. This girl who wrote the article was so passionate about it and worked incredibly hard revising it to fit the standards that we thought our school's administration could stomach, but no. I feel bad, I don't want her to become discouraged. 

And after that, I get guilted into giving up the one good thing that was going to happen to me this week- Late start Thursday. I now have to be at school by 7:30 to read over the paper since "I haven't been doing my job as an editor and making the time sacrifices for this paper." 

I never felt so low in so long.

I actually managed to finish all of my homework, for once! It's actually the first night in weeks where I have tackled a seemingly daunting workload and finished before 10:30!  Now I can attempt to work on scholarship essays for a little while!

UGGGGGGGH

I am attempting to get an ad to work on this blog, but the thing is I don't know anything about HTML, which is the only way to get anywhere with placing ads. I'm really annoyed because I'm DESPERATELY trying to understand how it works, but I'm just not getting anywhere and I'm frustrated as all get out!

Now, I have about ten thousand other fish to fry.... Hurray.

Uggggggggggh I did it, and it's done....... Uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh newspaper is getting to be a bit too much right now.....

1/28/15

Today has been a pretty rough day. All day I've been super-stressed out with newspaper stuff, and I'm really annoyed with everyone there. They ask me for help in things that are not my expertise and don't use me for any other purposes, then since I can't help them on the stuff that they're always scrambling to do, they bitch about me behind my back and I'm sick of it. I just want to leave that class. And the rest of the staff simply doesn't work and goofs off all the time, which is incredibly annoying. Like today we asked a girl to come up with a caption to accompany the picture that was with her story, and when there were five minutes left in class and we asked her if she could tell us the caption, she had forgotten about it entirely! It's even the littlest things that drive me crazy there. 

The rest of the school day was ehhhhh. Nothing really exciting or wonderful happened. I honestly felt like I was dragging around an empty shell of myself from class to class. I'm probably just tired, but I just feel pretty down today. 

I had a fair amount of homework to do, but then on my ride home one of the girls on the paper called me and said that our editorial page was pulled by our school administration, so now I have to write a few short news stories on top of all the other things I had to do. It's wonderful, REALLY!

AND ON THAT NOTE, GOODNIGHT!

HULK SMASH!!!!!!!!......... THE PATRIARCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIKE FOR REAL I TURN INTO THE INCREDIBLE FEMINIST HULK WHEN SOMEBODY TRIES TO ATTACK MY FRIENDS OR EVEN MY ACQUAINTANCES WHO ARE EXPRESSING WHAT THEY (AND I) BELIEVE!!!!!!

I AM IN A FIGHTING MOOD RIGHT NOW OH MY GOODNESS

GAHHHHHH SO ONE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS IS GETTING ATTACKED BY A BUNCH OF REPUBLICAN WOMEN'S ACCOUNTS ON TWITTER FOR SIMPLY TWEETING A SCREENSHOT OF THE DEFINITION OF FUCKING FEMINISM LIKE I COULD SMASH MY HEAD AGAINST A WALL!!!!!! AND THEN SOME GIRL FROM HER SCHOOL HAS THE NERVE TO SEND SOME OF THESE ACCOUNTS THE EMAIL ADDRESSES OF THE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL AND THE SENIOR CLASS PRINCIPAL (BECAUSE THEIR SCHOOL IS HUGE) TO SEEK PUNISHMENT FOR THIS GIRL WHO DID ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING WRONG BUT TRY TO DEFEND HERSELF FROM THESE IMBECILE WOMEN. I COULD PUNCH A BEAR RIGHT NOW. TRY ME!!!!!!

Ugggggggh I don't really feel like doing any more scholarship stuff.... but the one I'm working on now is due in nine days, so I should really haul some ass on it tonight and tomorrow....

So my sister has been bugging me all night to try to assemble a giant heavy treadmill in our basement, but it just hasn't worked out at all.

1/27/15

I'm not in a very good mood today. Nothing truly terrible happened, I'm just grumpy and hungry and annoyed by practically everything.

Goodnight!

My brain is essentially fried right now. Yay, scholarships!

I've been spending the night applying for scholarships all over the internet. If I work hard at it, I'm bound to get SOMETHING!

1/26/15

Today was an interesting day, sort of. Our local school district had a two-hour delay because of snow, and contrary to her typical character, my mom actually let my sister and I go in to school later. We were able to get there with more than enough time to spare, so we got donuts. The only reason we even bothered to go in at all was because I had an in-class essay for AP English. After that, I basically did nothing in school all day. I even managed to finish all of my homework in my study hall!

After school, we had strike for the one-acts show. For those of you who are unfamiliar with theater things, strike is the event where the set is deconstructed, costumes and props are put away, the space is cleaned up and returned to its original condition, and so forth. It's usually not that difficult at all, and sometimes even fun! However, today's was especially rough.

The fall play is going to be performed at the Ohio State Theater Conference, and because of that all of the set pieces needed to be moved to this garage about a mile and a half away from the theater to be stored until the conference. This wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't 21 degrees Fahrenheit and snowing outside and if over half the cast and crew didn't show up/ditched halfway through. It was rough, and the only people that stuck it out were me (and I am not supposed to be lifting heavy objects so I was pretty useless), our director, a gaggle of small freshmen who did the best they could to help, one strong-ish boy, and a few girls who, like the freshmen, did the best they could. It was rough. Once I got home, I went straight to bed.

Goodnight!!!!!!

For real though, I have been collecting a ton of things for my future dorm. I got this great magnetic chain that you attach photos to and a Clueless calendar for Christmas, I just got a fantastic collapsible jewelry organizer/coat hanging hook/you can hang stuff on it and it's pretty sick thing from World Market the other day, and yesterday I bought a small, blue, fair-trade Buddha statue that was made in Nepal. I already have a nice box of things that I have collected with magnets and then the aforementioned items, and I'm still going to sort out things that I plan to bring with me. Like I'll be bringing all of my pictures that are framed (and the ones that aren't are going on that sick chain), my jewelry stands and their contents, and so on. I'm really looking forward to that aspect of college!

I'm about to Pinterest dorm decorations so hard right now!!!!!!

OH MY GOODNESS

I did a Neti Pot and now I feel infinitely better! I'm going to do them again every morning and then before bed until I feel better, and after that I'm going to do them once a week for some preventative care. I definitely need to be back to normal by Saturday morning, that's what matters most at this point!

Hopefully I'll feel better soon. I hate sinusitis with a passion that consumes my soul! It closely follows Bob Evans Restaurants.

After looking up sinus infection surgery stuff, I don't really know if it's right for me. The surgery part I can handle, but the post-surgery business may not work out very well. One of the major recovery procedures is avoiding allergens, and having a cat and dog (both of which, I'm allergic to) and aspiring to get a cat in the future would make that impossible! I can easily handle some of the other things, like using a humidifier and regularly using a saline rinse like the Neti-Pot and avoiding dust and using an air conditioner when the pollen count is high, but I don't think I could ever give up pets!

I've finished my homework early, so I'm going to either nap now and exercise (well, attempt to exercise) after dinner or do what I can now to exercise and get to bed earlier. I just feel so so gross; I can hardly breath out of my nose, and I am beyond sick of being sick! Before I do anything else though, I'm going to look into sinus removal surgeries. Since they're essentially always infected, what's the point of having them?!

So I'll barely have enough service hours by the due date in order to graduate, but I'll make it!!!!!!! I was incredibly nervous about that earlier this week, because I talked to our campus ministry director and he says that he absolutely, under no circumstance, gives extensions for service hours. It'd be the stupidest thing in the world to be prevented from graduating high school over that!

I HATE MY SINUSES, OKAY?!

Ugggggggggggh I feel disgusting like I was having a nice three week streak with no sicknesses (well, there is my ankle still) and now THIS!!!!! I'm half tempted to just get my sinuses removed.

If I hold my charger adapter a certain way, it will work, so I'm gonna try to get this laptop fully charged!

The Past Two Days

The past two days have been incredibly busy, but incredibly wonderful nonetheless! The shows went perfectly and we had a full house both nights! I feel under the weather, though.

Goodnight!!!!!!!!!!

Wish me luck....

The show starts now....

Upcoming Blog Changes

Since I'm now 18 and meet every requirement for getting AdSense, you can bet your bottom dollar that I will! Don't judge, I'm pretty broke and I have expensive tastes and an impulsive buying habit!!!! I'd greatly appreciate any clicking on the Ads, as it will help me stay out of debt this year and the next. 

So when you start seeing ads, please, think of the starving Emily! 

Goodnight!!!!!!

I'm done.

I give up. I've done as much as I possibly could on my paper, so now I'm just going to go other my other homework and call it a night.

My Birthday, Continued

I'm sore, I'm tired, and I just want to go to bed. Only a handful of people actually knew it was my birthday today. I know I shouldn't feel sad about that, but I can't really help it. Plus, my mom is mad at me for a bunch of little things and stupid mistakes I've made throughout the day, and then my sister hasn't exactly been very nice to me. Plus, I still have that stupid research paper to finish! On the bright side, Andy sent me a box of chocolate covered strawberries and a super-sweet note, and it was wonderful to come home to that surprise!

Ugggggggggh school....

My Birthday so Far

It's been a pretty good day for me so far, but I'm working on one of the stupidest research papers ever and it's giving me a migraine.

My final show...

I can't believe that tomorrow night marks the end of my theater career. I wish it could have lasted forever. Theater gives me the most sensational rush, but I just don't think I'm good enough to ever make a career out of acting and the like. Even if I diversified my skill-set, it'd sill be a struggle for me. That's kinda a reason why I'm pursuing film. Nonetheless, I will relish every last second I have onstage: no matter how small the audience, how many people are there to support me, how I do with my lines, no matter what I will be taking it all in.

One thing that has been bothering me has been the amount of people in the theater program who say things like "Ugh, I'm just so done with this" or "I can't wait for this to be over." That's not the spirit to have!!!!!! You never know which show will truly be your last. I know this is going to be my final scripted role, and that makes me deeply sad. When I think back on quitting Fools this year, I really regret it. If I had known last fall that that would have been my final Fall Play, I would have been so much more appreciative of every second on that crappy, gymatorium stage.

I know some of these people have a few years before they take their last bows, and other seniors have the school musical as their last show, but that pisspoor attitude needs to stop, because what we have is something wonderful and they are completely taking it for granted. And what's more- those underclassmen who are "so done" with a show can leave. Nobody is forcing them to be a part of the theater program. It's not a civic duty. It's a choice, and if you make the choice but regret it, please don't ruin the fun for the people that do.

I'm in my study hall now. I should really be working on my research paper, but at this point I'm too tired to care. 

Apparently nobody is seeing any of my scheduled posts that have come up so far.... Okay, Blogger.....

At least I'm spending the big one-eight with people who mean a lot to me (despite how absolutely annoying several of them are)! And this weekend will be great, Andy's coming down to see me, Abby, Dylan, and POSSIBLY Tony (if he can ever get his schedule to work out) and I are going out to get lunch. On top of that, I'll get to get my filming finished on Saturday, and it'll turn out pretty nicely in the end! My family is coming over to celebrate my birthday in two weeks, so I'm pretty excited for that. By then, my ankle should be just fine as well! It's going to be fantastic, I just know it!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

It's my first birthday while I've owned this blog!!!!! And now I'm a legal adult!!!! But let's be honest, that doesn't mean anything for another three years when I turn 21. *deep sigh*

Guess what time it is....................

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR EMILY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!

I AM OFFICIALLY AN ADULT EXCEPT NOT REALLY BUT FUCK IT I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!

Goodnight!!!!!!

I'm not quite at 10% yet, so I'm just going to give up now and get to bed. Hopefully my charger cords arrive sooner rather than later. I did queue some posts for tomorrow and even into the next day, since I'll have limited access to a computer. Keep your thoughts with me tomorrow and Friday, even if it's only for a few seconds! Whether for my birthday, ankle, stress levels, diet, or show, please think of me!

Speaking of Milestones.....

I've passed 850 posts!!!!!!!! I mean, most of them are incredibly short, but for a person as apt to change and apt to give up as I am, this is a pretty huge deal as well as a wonderful sign of commitment. I'm proud of me, to be honest!

I still have 20%..... I guess that means 20% more posts for tomorrow?

Right now my cat is asleep on the foot that I'm not icing and it's super precious!!!!!

28% Battery... Let's do this.....

I'm going to try to queue up a few posts for tomorrow, that way there's SOMETHING here if I don't have access to a computer in the evening. 

Tomorrow

Oh my goodness I'm going to be 18 tomorrow.... I'm sure a bazillion people are going to forget all about my birthday, but the people who matter will remember and that's what counts! Even though it's my birthday, I'm still going to be having an interesting time trying to balance my ankle, my shows, and my homework. There won't really be much time for celebrating, unfortunately. 

Speaking of my ankle, I really need to take it easier tomorrow. It's super sore, and when I have the ice pack on it it almost stings! I just want it to be better and to go back to normal. Tomorrow, I at least won't have to climb any ladders or lift heavy loads. I don't want to return to the boot at any cost, so I'll take what I can get! I'll go easy on the stairs as well and try to take the elevator from time to time. 

I also wish really badly that I could exercise again. I really miss seeing the visible results, and I'm worried that I'll gain back the weight that I lost from not being able to do too much. I am basically limited to crunches, arm circles, and anything upper-body, which I don't have to many options for.

So I just want to heal as fast as humanly possible, because I just want to be okay and to get back on track!

I did get pretty far. With my study hall tomorrow and on Friday before class, I should be able to finish the paper just fine, laptop or not! I'm just going to devote my final moments with battery to blogging, and just winding down for the night. I found the power-saver mode on this thing FINALLY so things are looking up a little bit! 

I have only 45% of my battery left, so I may as well give up in a few minutes. At least I'll have a power cord by the time the week ends!

I placed an order for not one, but two new chargers on Amazon.com and it should arrive by Friday! It's nice that I only had to pay $12.80 for two chargers, plus it'll be nice to have a backup/spare for when the next one breaks. I have the worst luck with chargers, really. I constantly need new ones or need to replace chargers.It's a pain in the ass, especially since phone chargers and the like are about $25-$30! That's a quarter to half of my average paycheck!!!!!

At least this forces me to work harder on my research paper since my ability to work on it tomorrow night is extremely limited.

At this point, I just want a new laptop. I'm going to need one for school anyways, so why not get it for my birthday?!

Screw chargers, honestly.

It couldn't have come at a worse time, either! I have to do a research paper; like COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like I've only had this charger for about three months, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!

Ugggggggggggh my laptop charger isn't working ugggggggggggh.

uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhh

Welp, my parents weren't too keen on the spreadable items idea for a present because they want to give me something "more permanent" than that. They offered up the idea of a watch, but I never wear anything on my wrists save for a hair tie! It's really a stupid first world problem, but it's far more entertaining to try to think of a gift than to work on my research paper.

So my parents want me to try to think of something I want for my birthday that isn't on the list I made ages ago because fuck guidelines, amirite?! All I can think of is Biscoff Butter and Marmite, so I hope they lower their expectations.

I have -100000000 motivations right now. 

1/21/15

School today was fairly ordinary; nothing special happened. I'll definitely get to perform my show at the Area Theater Conference, so I'm pretty excited!!!! It's coming along so well! Also, somebody st my school apparently killed a 10-year-old boy when the kid ran in front of his car. It's pretty sad; I can't imagine the pain that boy's family is going through nor the pain that that student is going to have to live with for the rest of his or her life. 

I'm pretty excited for my birthday tomorrow. It'll be nice to get to sleep in on my birthday!

Goodnight!

Uggggggggggh I don't want to move...

Still not finished...

So I haven't finished my AP Bio take home test, but I have study hall tomorrow to do that in! I *think* we'll be working on our papers for Bio in class, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed there!

HAHAHAHAHA OOPS I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED THE STUFF THAT'S DUE TOMORROW OOPS HAHAHAHA

I've been having really intense bouts of hiccups all night and I'm getting reeeeeeeally annoyed with them. Like when I hiccup, they're super violent hiccups that shake my whole body and they are RIDICULOUS! I just want them to be over!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oops I still have to start my homework, which means doing a take-home test and a research paper for AP Bio... Oops...

1/20/15

Today was my first day at school with my ankle injury. It was interesting, to say the least. I didn't need to use my crutches at all, thank goodness, but the boot itself was very very difficult to get used to. Tomorrow I'll be okay to move into a smaller brace, which will be much easier to walk around with. The boots are so clumsy! I almost fell down the stairs twice today, so after that I started using the elevators. Those are technically for people with crutches, but since I'm a "fall risk" I am an exception. It's not like anybody really guards the elevators anyways. You don't even need a key to use them! I may have broken the new elevator in the school's chapel; and it's the first time it was used! I'm looking forward to downsizing casts tomorrow.

Rehearsal went a lot better than I had expected! The people in my show knew their parts pretty well and were able to seem natural onstage, and those were my two biggest worries. With practices being daily now, that helps everything out SO much more, since the only place we can go now is up.

Goodnight!

I MIGHT BE ABLE TO WALK TOMORROW I'M SUPER PUMPED ABOUT THAT BECAUSE THEN I CAN MOST DEFINITELY WALK ON FRIDAY FOR MY SHOWS AND PERFORM AS I NORMALLY WOULD THIS IS A HUGE RELIEF HENCE THE HUGE TEXT WOOHOO!!!!!!

I'm about to take a super relaxing bubble bath. I feel disgusting; I haven't showered since Saturday morning with this injury thing getting in my way. I really need it. 

I really wish I didn't go to church Saturday; then none of this would have happened.

Oops I haven't done any of my homework yet....


Oh well...

Right now I'm relaxing and watching SNL, and ohhhh I miss watching it regularly!

Ugggggggggggggh

I really really really don't want to go to school tomorrow...

I mean in just a few days I'll be eligible for AdSense which, although I probably wouldn't get too much, would help somewhat. 

I've got to go through my money today and see where I'm at financially. I've lucked out since my birthday is coming up soon so I'm bound to get money from that, but I need to know if I'll have a reasonable amount to get me through until I can get a second job.

I'm not in the mood to head back to school tomorrow. I think I'm going to be on crutches for the next two days. I really don't want to be, but I don't think I have much of a choice. I should at least be in a walking boot by the time I have to perform, but I'm still pretty worried about that.

Uggggggggggggggh my sister refuses to help me with anything at all today and I'm so pissed off. I can't put weight on my foot yet, and it hurts so much more than it did yesterday, but she won't even bring me a freaking granola bar for breakfast! How am I supposed to put away my laundry when I can hardly keep my balance on crutches?! How does that freaking work?!

Goodnight!

So.... The job hunt begins again...

Since I am getting taken off the schedule until at least Easter time, I'm going to have a very thin wallet for the next several months. This isn't so good, especially since I need to hold onto some money for when I get to college and also for building up wealth in general since I'll basically be spending my life as a poor SOB with my career choice. So.... I'm going to look for a second job. I need something that I can do mainly on the weekends and then during the week once I'm done with school. I just finished an online application for the Gap Outlet in my outlet mall, so fingers crossed there. I really enjoy retail, so I want something along those lines. I'm not going to even CONSIDER anything involving food in my search. Some other stores that I'll look into are American Eagle, Aeropostale (ehhhh I don't know about them), or something of a similar nature. I only need 10-15 hours per week during the school year with my schedule; summertime is fair game. I may venture out into some Medina or Wadsworth stores later on.

Since I'll be 18 in 4 days, it'll probably be a lot easier to get jobs as well as to get jobs that pay slightly better than what I'd get before being an adult. 

Fingers crossed through all of this!

Ohhhhh I love online shopping.... But my wallet doesn't...

It's going to be even harder now that I won't be working until around Easter.... Woohoo being broke-ish....

Welp, I had no luck with that search! I'll keep my fingers crossed for this DePaul one, though.

YAY I'M DONE WITH THAT SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!!!!! 



Now my mom is making me find as many others to apply for as I can.... 










woohoo.....

I am soooooooo close to being finished with my scholarship application for DePaul!!!! Just two more short essays to go and then I'm done!!!!

The Tables Have Turned!

My mom is  making my sister do the chores that she was going to make me do muahahahahahahaha!!!!! That's what she gets for being mean to a cripple!

I'm done.

Literally my sister is giving me no sympathy here, and I am ready to smack her upside the head with my crutches! She expects me to put a bunch of laundry away and all this other crap that I physically can't do and it is so annoying! 

Right now I'm trying to get down to business with scholarship applications and I just want to slam my head against a wall a few times. I'm really tired and sore and in no mood to deal with any of this stuff!

Make it work?

I was SO pumped that I almost made it to adulthood without getting seriously injured or ever being in the emergency room. Literally, I was thinking it last week! I said nothing out loud because I didn't want to jinx myself, but I guess it went without saying!!!!!!! This year, this week especially, I have been trying to keep my head up and roll with the punches. I kept in mind the words of Tim Gunn: "Designers, make it work!" and I have been trying to live by that mantra.

This is just another obstacle. I'm going to have to make this work out somehow! With my diet, my schoolwork, my show, EVERYTHING! 

On the bright side, my pain levels have gone down substantially so it might be possible for me to perform with an ankle brace or with an Aircast boot. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, though. I really don't want to do crutches....

Uggggggggggggggh everything hurts and my family is super annoying about all of this and I just want to lock myself in my room and be left alone.

Sprained (?) Ankle Day 1

I hate this. My dad won't stop worrying about me and babying me which is getting really annoying. It still hurts pretty badly, but it's nowhere near as painful as it was last night. My mom gave me some Vicodin leftover from my dad's hernia surgery to help me sleep and to help kill the pain, and I slept like a baby. 

On the bright side, I get to stay in bed today without judgement or anything, so I guess every cloud has its silver lining.

(not so) Goodnight!

I sprained my ankle and all I got was this stupid bracelet...

But hey, it's still pretty accurate...

Bad Luck Emily Strikes Back

Guess who was having a perfectly wonderful day until something awful happened around the 5-6:00 hour?! THIS GIRL.

So this morning I went up to school and then rode up to West Side Market without a hitch, then had a marvelous time shopping around and eating my way through Cleveland. It was wonderful! We all had a blast. After that, I retrieved my keys without losing anything, then went home for a nice little nap. After that, I took pastries I bought over to my neighbors' house to celebrate my godmother's birthday! It was wonderful, I hung out there for awhile and then was forced to go to Mass with my parents. That's when everything went downhill.

I'm itching to get out of there, and as I walk out to my car, I miss a stair and fall, rolling my ankle. There was definitely a cracking noise. I had never been in so much pain in my life. It was MISERABLE. I screamed, a crowd gathered around me, and my parents had already driven away on their way to a restaurant in Cleveland. I flipped out and just sat there crying. I couldn't move anyways, everything hurt so badly. I kinda shooed the people around me away because they were freaking me out. I don't do well with strangers gathering around me and touching me and asking me questions and stuff. I felt bad for doing it, but I don't know what else I could have done! After that, I called my parents and they came and picked me up and took me to the Emergency Room.

The ER was a ghost town. Nonetheless, it still took forever to get anything done there. I had X Rays taken and all sorts of pain tests, yet they could not find anything conclusive. It's likely that I sprained it, which I really don't want to have happened. I just want the pain to stop so that I can go on with my life. I'm worried about my show now. This completely changes the blocking and the energy and dynamics of the show; I'm really really scared. 

From 4:30 to 7, I should just avoid any and all activity.

Goodnight!!!!!!!

My head's sort of spinning, to be completely honest. I should probably try to get to bed soon since I have to be up early tomorrow to head up to West Side Market. I'm excited about that! I love going up there. It's such a fun, multicultural place! Plus, you can't beat fresh food from the market.

"Family Secrets" Round 2

So, after nearly 18 years of believing that my dad had no cousins, I find out he has two! The reason I never hear of them is because one is dead and the other never got along with my dad. He would try to bully my dad when they were younger, but since my dad was larger than his cousin it never really had much of an effect on him. They also apparently always had different interests so they never really wanted to play together or anything as kids. 

It kinda explains a lot, but it makes me wonder what my dad's living cousin is up to now.

"Family Secrets"

Tonight, my sister and I visited with my grandparents to celebrate my Grandma's birthday. The night started off with some butter pecan ice cream and the expectation to stay for only 25 minutes or so. We ended up staying there for about two hours talking!

The whole thing started when my sister made a joke about not hearing about my dad's side of the family ever. We only know his sister, our grandparents, and kinda know my great aunt on that side of the family; everybody else that we've heard about comes from stories from my grandparents. From those stories, I have a pretty big family. All our life, it's bothered us that we only keep in touch with one side of the family and know nothing about the other. There had to be SOME reason why this happened! I knew that my grandpa was an only child so my dad didn't have any close cousins there, and I was under the impression that my great aunt and uncle didn't have any kids. I also assumed that there was some feud or reason why my dad never talked about them at all. Boy, was I right.

After my sister made her joke, my Grandma became very serious and said, "Well, I guess that's my fault, in a way," and began her story.

Her paternal grandfather was an abusive alcoholic, so her father cut her family off from his side and she grew up surrounded by members of her mom's side of the family. Her mom was one of six children who were all VERY close. The whole clan lived within 4 blocks of each other in a small town in Ohio. They got together all the time for "family functions." Well, my great-grandmother's favorite brother, Harold's, wife started "helping around the house" for their older brother Alfred. Alfred's wife was dying of cancer, so it seemed perfectly reasonable why she would want to help. After Alfred's first wife died, she left and divorced Harold and married Alfred.

My great-grandmother took terrible offense to this (who wouldn't?!) and cut the couple out of family life. She would not let her family attend any of the "family functions" because she did not want to see Alfred and Harold's former wife. It turns out that they were never even invited to any of these events; my great-grandmother still could not be convinced that they would not show up and put the family into isolation.


It's a lot more than I had expected, and it's kinda similar to Hamlet, in a way.

1/16/15

I was having a pretty great day up until about half an hour ago! School went fine, except for the fact that one of the three people on my team for Video Production dropped the class and he was the only one in the group with a camera so we're left behind scrambling to do what we can! I had some fun today with Dylan and Abby, which is always wonderful. Megan and I had a fun drive home, AND I don't have a ridiculous amount of homework this weekend!


Then everything changed when I lost my keys.


As I was typing this post, a girl I work with called to inform me that they found my keys and that I can grab them tomorrow afternoon.

Goodnight!!!!

Like I need to reevaluate my life knowing that fact, I feel so behind on literally everything and anything!

Literally a kid from my class put together a social media platform for prospective DePaul students in a little less than a day. What have you done today?

Whoa...

In exactly one week, I am going to be 18. Wow. It kinda blows my mind, in a way. I'm going to be looking forward to it immensely, even though it really doesn't mean anything in terms of things I'm legally able to do now. All I get is legal "consent," smoking, the ability to drive at any hour of the night (which won't happen anyways with my parents), aaaaaaand tattoos and additional which I won't be able to get anyways. I can legally vote, but the next election isn't for some time. It doesn't really mean much, which kinda sucks, yet there's so so much attached to turning 18. Funny how that works.

Ugggggggh I don't wanna do my homework.....

1/15/15

Today was a pretty solid day! I got out of half of it, which was amazing! In video production, we storyboarded our project which is always interesting. I never took beginning art, so my drawing skills are incredibly limited and that was fun! English was alright, for what I was there for. After that, I went with a few kids from newspaper to a round table luncheon! It was alright; the food was pretty good which made up for the speaker being ehhhh, but the real joy of it came from missing half my day in school! 

Rehearsal went a lot better than I had expected it to! I knew my lines a LOT better than I thought I did, and that really helped things along. I'm not nervous about that show. I'm nervous about the one I'm directing since there's a lot more at stake for me there. 

When I got home, I got my first of probably several birthday cards as well as a package from Sephora that I ordered (which included my birthday gift from them). I love online shopping; it's like getting presents from yourself in the past!

Goodnight!

My painting wasn't very good tonight. At this point, I'm going to wait until I'm free next so I can try to redo what I had done/improve. I did work some on my megalithic collage that I started back in middle school. I want to finish it before I leave for college, just for the sense of accomplishment!

1/14/15

Tpday was a pretty great day! My classes were, for the most part, incredibly uneventful. But hey, that's life!  Video Production was a ton of fun. I have a pretty good group for my projects this quarter so I'm happy about that. I'm pretty excited to actually start shooting footage off-campus, compared to the projects I did last year. 

Rehearsal for the show I'm directing was ehhh, but we're doing better in comparison to other shows. 

After rehearsal, I went on an adventure to try to fill my tires with air. I was successful, and rewarded myself by getting art supplies at JoAnn Fabrics! Tonight, since I have literally nothing to do, I'm going to paint.

Goodnight!

IT IS FINISHED!

I also managed to pack my lunch, breakfast, and after school snack so I think I'm in solid shape! I need to fill out one more permission form before I go to bed. I can do my math in study hall tomorrow, so I'm just going to pick out my clothes for tomorrow and call it a night!

Oooookay so I posted the stuff on the DePaul Facebook page, PLUS I finished one body paragraph for my essay so I only have one left. Now, I'm going to get my drink of water, talk a quick walk around the house, and finish this essay crap by 10:00! Then I'll set up my math problems and call it a night!

My head is starting to feel better, but I still have -50 motivations to finish my essay. I kinda want to take a break and get some water, walk around the house a little, do some math or something, so I think I'll do that so I can get back into the Heart of Darkness spirit. I don't want to get out of bed, though.

I'm also going to try to post a revamped introduction on the DePaul page with my CROPPED art attached that way I can maybe get some attention back on the art and the possibility of somebody buying my artwork. Plus, it's been AGES since I posted my introduction and it's now buried under two and a half months worth of posts from new DePaul people and people who have been on the page for some time and post constantly.

I'm so so close to being done with my essay, it's killing me!

uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh

Everything hurts and owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I wanna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie

Ugggggggggggh

I don't feel any better, despite the nap, the aspirin, and putting food in my stomach. I'm going to try to hammer out one to two paragraphs for my English essay before I even CONSIDER napping again or going to bed earlier. I'm terrible about waking up early in the mornings, so I'm not about to be attempting to wake up at 5 AM so I can finish this essay.

Right now my head is killing me, so I'm going to nap before I even try to work!

Second Semester of Senior Year

Holy crap this year has flown by! It's hard to believe that I have only one semester left of high school. I'm okay with it, though!

Today my schedule changed completely, and it was really strange. The day seemed to go by much more slowly, and the majority of my day is a complete joke. I have a split study hall, newspaper, lunch, and stats all in one giant chunk between my two hard classes, and my morning is incredibly easy as well. It'll all be over in a few short months, and I find that really hard to believe. 

Video Production is looking to be the highlight of my days this semester! I'm one of two girls in the class and was declared "prettiest by default" and the "go-to romantic interest" for class projects. It's still a ton of fun, and quite the ego boost!

Goodnight!

I drank some chai tea and that's helping somewhat with the headache. I just want to crawl in bed at this point!

My head is killing me and I haven't even done half the things I said I would today. Go me. Wooooo.

Ugggggggh I just want to troll around Pinterest and not work on anything but also make art but nobody seems to want my art like ugggggggggggggggggggggggggh 

Sooooo I don't really want to work on my essays and stuff, so I'm taking a break to work on scholarship applications for DePaul!

Ugggggggggggggggggggggh I don't want to work..............

I can't concentrate at all, so I'm going to take a nap. It just dawned on me that I ought to go over my lines some more. I haven't looked at my script since Christmas break...

For now, sleep is just fine.

I'm currently struggling to find the motivation to at least outline the paper I have due Wednesday for English. If I can finish the outline by the time I go to bed, I'll be in excellent shape! Honestly all I want to do right now is make some art, but I'm out of canvases and low on paint and I'm too disgusting to go to JoAnn Fabrics right now. Maybe if I shower I would, but I'm super sore and not even remotely in the mood to move.

10 days until I'm 18..... Wow....

Welp, I've already goofed up on both of my diet goals for today. I've only done 44 minutes of Wii Fit exercise, and I had a TON of sugar during lunch thanks to an insatiable chocolate craving. I'm going to have to exercise some more later on today so that I can get back on track. I'm also going to cut back a bit on dinner that way I don't use up as many calories. Maybe I'll do some pilates or get back into Wii Fit again. I may just do my own thing; it all depends on how much time I have left in the end!

It's really snowy and gross out today, so I don't know if I'll actually be able to go to pick up art supplies. I guess that's all the better for my wallet for the time being! I also have gotten a few more likes on my dorm art picture, but that isn't exactly "conclusive" so I shouldn't really be going crazy buying stuff anyways. 

Diet Update

Today I weighed in at 161.1 pounds!!!! I'm so close to having lost 5 pounds, it's driving me crazy! Just to help myself lose it more quickly, I'm going to avoid sweets for the day and exercise for at least one hour on Wii Fit, in addition to doing my daily plank, squats, and whatnot. I'm excited!!!!!!

Goodnight!

I have a bit of a headache right now, so I'm going to head to bed. Hopefully something comes of the art business. I'd really love that! So far I've gotten a few likes on the photo, so we'll see how things are going tomorrow. If I don't have anything by 3:00 tomorrow, I won't get a TON of supplies, just a few canvases and some stencils for myself and for making some "sample work" to put online. I'll still have to do some work exercising and then working on my essay for English. No matter what, I'm going to make sure that I have a productive day tomorrow. 

TA DA

Les Grosses Bises

Welp, that's the Art I made! I wish I had a stencil for the letters, then they'd look SO much better. They kinda ruin the work, otherwise. I'm kinda interested in possibly creating a lot of simple yet cool dorm artwork for myself and other potential DePaul students, so I posted this picture on the DePaul Facebook page, and hopefully something will come out of it! I really miss painting and everything, even though I wasn't really good at it. However, if I can get my hands on some stencils and other tools, I could make a nice little business making simple and relatively cheap artwork. I'll have to calculate the price of a custom painting based off of the cost of supplies, shipping, and profit. I really hope a few people would be interested, because I'd really like to develop more!

Today has been reeeeally dull... I just want to relax for a bit, but I also feel a creative surge coming on. It's kinda weird. I had a really good idea for some artwork, but right now my dad is in my art space which is kinda annoying. I may try to grab a canvas or something and take it back to my room. I also want to work on my collage that I've been putting together since middle school. I just want to be left alone to do some art shtuff. Blargh.

Everything's better with David Tennant

1/11/15

Today has been pretty uneventful. All I've done is work out, watch Hamlet, and get roped into running errands with my dad. I'm pretty tired out. I'm just glad I don't have school tomorrow!

I've been trying to get through Hamlet, but reading it alone isn't doing much good for me. Sooooo I'm watching the BBC version with David Tennant on YouTube instead!

Last Night

Last night was a ton of fun! Andy and I went into Medina and went out to dinner at the restaurant that I went to with my family about two weeks ago. It was pretty lovely. We had about 5 different waiters/waitresses, which was kinda funny but also kinda annoying. After that, we walked around downtown Medina for a little bit (it was freezing cold so this was not the best decision), then went back to his house and had a Parks and Recreation marathon. It was really wonderful. 

He's actually heading back to school on Sunday now, but I'm happy that I was able to spend some time with him before he had to leave. I don't really know when I'll get to see him again. Next Saturday I'm going to be heading up to West Side Market in Cleveland with the Food Club, and if he wanted to he would be welcome to join us. I don't know if he would want to, though. He may be coming down to visit me for my birthday weekend, but that's not quite certain yet. I really hope he does. My birthday wouldn't be as special without him. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, though. Other than that, I don't know the next time I'll get to see him. Hopefully in February I'll finally be able to go up to CPH College and then see him afterwards, but I don't know; my mom always seems to have things scheduled the days that I would head up to Cleveland. Coincidence? Yeah, probably.

Regardless of when I get to see Andy next, I had a really wonderful time with him last night and that's what matters.

1/9/15

Today was the last day of the semester (FINALLY)!!!!!! It was alright, we didn't really do too much in school. Mostly, we just watched movies or talked throughout the entire period. If every day was like that, school would be a lot more bearable.

After school, Dylan asked me to come to "Philosophy Club." I didn't even know we had a philosophy club, but it was a really fun meeting! It didn't really feel like we were talking about philosophy so much as we were chatting about movies and personal experiences and the like. I'm definitely going to go back. I'm leaving now to head to Andy's, and I'm pretty excited!

Goodnight!

Tonight was pretty relaxing. I'm not really looking forward to the whole "going back to school" bit again. I'll have to make do with it, I guess. On the bright side, I get to see Andy tomorrow night before he heads back to school on Saturday! I'm looking forward to that. 

I managed to hammer out two and a half essays, and my teacher pushed back the deadline so I can quit working on that! Woo!

I really don't want to work on these essays right now, but if I don't I'll be struggling to finish them Saturday Morning and that won't be good. If I can do two and a half essays tonight, I'll be in great shape. If I completely finish, even better! Ugggggggggggggggggh I just don't wanna work at all...

I was able to breeze through my column like it was nothing! Now I'm going to do some chores for my mom before I work on any of the other essays or get back into reading Hamlet. I really ought to exercise some today, so I'll take a break to do some Wii Fit or some Pilates after I finish one essay. I want to do at least two today. If I can completely finish the work, I'll be overjoyed!

Snow Day #1

Ahhhh thank goodness for snow days! I loved being able to sleep in, and I've had a fairly laid back day. I had to take my car in to get some service. Turns out there was a dead chipmunk inside of my heating system! That was quite the surprise. After that, I came home, made myself a grilled cheese, and did some of my homework. I finished my AP Bio homework and I worked some on my next reading assignment for English. We're supposed to have finished reading Hamlet by Monday. I still have to work on my religion essays and my column for newspaper, but I think with the extra time I have I'll be okay. This definitely helped with the whole "waiting until next semester starts" thing. I'd love a snow day tomorrow, but I still have a project to present in Economics which I won't be able to do after Friday. 

Welp I've been Netflixing to my heart's content, and my sister brought me all kinds of chocolatey ice cream goodness! The night has definitely turned today around!

I GOT A SNOW DAY TOMORROW PRAISE BE TO THOR

1/7/15

Today was ehhhhh and I'm currently avoiding my homework by checking over and over again to see if I'll get a snow day tomorrow. Fingers crossed. If I do, I'm just not going to do anything tonight! 

I did pack myself a solid lunch and made a bitchin breakfast for tomorrow, though. I made an egg white omelette! 

I FINISHED THE SECOND ESSAY HOLY CRAP I'M DOING AMAZING!!!!!!

GO ME!!! MAKING PROGRESS LIKE IT'S MY JOB!

I finished one of my essays and I'm about a third of the way done with the second! I'm doing fantastic!

So I'm actually being pretty productive tonight!!!! I packed my lunch and made a breakfast for myself for tomorrow when I got home today, and I have one of my five religion essays almost finished! I still have to do math, and I plan on doing at least one more religion essay tonight and then working on a column for newspaper so I can get ahead. I really want to kick my assignments out of the way so I can manage to work in some exercise! I've failed pretty miserably at that the past three days. Here goes nothing!

1/6/15

Today was not the greatest day. It snowed a ton overnight and throughout the morning, so it was really really awful driving to school. It took me an hour and ten minutes!!!!! A bunch of schools had two-hour delays, and it really perplexes me as to why my school didn't do that! We're supposed to get a bunch of lake effect snow tonight (pleeeeeease snow pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease) and people are keeping their hopes for a snow day high. I'd adore a snow day, but even a two-hour delay would be spectacular! We've never had a two hour delay when I've been in high school, only snow days. I've only spent two days back at school, and so far it's been two days too many!

The rest of the day I pretty much just dragged myself to my classes and tried to stay awake. I did deliver the burn of a lifetime, though. I'm pretty proud of it:

Dickish guy at lunch table: Guys, when you're gonna get a blowjob, drink pineapple juice. I know from experience.
Me: Congrats on becoming flexible enough to blow yourself.

*mic drop*
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

Yeah, it was the prime moment of my day. I've basically come to the point where I do what I feel like doing and not caring about what others think of me. It's a weird kind of senior slide. I'm not sure how to feel about it.

Goodnight!

Sooooo I have no clue what I'm doing with my math homework since it's been about three weeks since I learned the stuff that's on it! Sooooooooooooooooo I'm giving up on that dream and exercising for a few minutes before starting up one of those religion essays.

1/5/15

The first day back from break wasn't too atrocious. I didn't do much in my classes; in fact, I'm watching movies in two of them! Senior slide is hitting hard and fast. I'm gonna do my math homework, exercise for about half an hour, then maybe work ahead on some assignments. My religion teacher is gone for the next two weeks, so our final assignment is to type up FIVE one-page essays on the movie/miniseries Nuremberg due Saturday, but I may want to work ahead on those assignments that way I can maybe spend some time with Andy Friday night before he heads back to school on Saturday. 

Overall, today was pretty ehh, and I just hope that I can see Andy at the end of the week. That'd make the whole "going back to school" thing a lot less horrible.

Oops I haven't exercised yet... Typical of me on a school night, I guess! I'll try to do some small things in my room while I can, that may be my best option at this point. 

I managed to get a lot of work done on the English homework, and Dylan has started putting his answers in so I'm not nearly as worried anymore! In about half an hour I'm going to take a break to exercise. I need to get some work done there! 

I really want this next week to fly by fast. After that, the semester is over and I can sort of rest easy. It's nice to be halfway done with Senior year! I'm looking forward to college, but I still want to make the most of the time I'll have left with the people who matter to me. 

1/4/15

Today has been pretty uneventful. I went to Famous to pick up my paychecks and check the schedule for next week. I don't work at all, which I don't mind, but I also wouldn't mind a few hours here or there. Money is definitely something I need. After that, I deposited my checks and now I'm just trying to get through what's left of my Heart of Darkness homework. I have basically no motivation to do any of it, but I've gotta get as much done as possible. Dylan was working with me, but he hasn't done anything yet because he's been working on essays for medical school applications. I'll probably do about 60-65% of the project, but that's okay. I actually haven't even finished reading the book yet! Ohhhh I love the smell of procrastination...

Goodnight!

I finally got around to working out. Since I was kinda tuckered out and sore, I only did 30 minutes instead of an hour. If I have time for a full hour tomorrow, I'm going to do that. As long as I'm going something, that's all that matters! Now, I'm just going to settle in with some Netflix and call it a night!

Ohhhh god I'm tired and don't want to exercise but I really really should...

Oh god, I just remembered how back early in the summer I would write down every single thing that I wanted to do that day, planning it out to a tee... It's not that that habit was bad, because when the summer started I was much more productive, I just tended to not do a lot of the things I had planned out since I am rarely motivated. I should really try to do that more often. I already use a planner for my assignments at school, so maybe I could start writing a few extra things in each day to do around the house or for workouts, etc. I do love crossing things out!

Welp, cleaning took next to no time at all, but at least I can cross it off that list!

Only 3 questions left for me to answer tonight, so I may as well take my break to clean some now! I think I'll also get rid of some of the old scarves that I bought but never wore and other things of that nature to give myself more closet space.

Only 5 more questions to answer until I've reached my goal for the day!!!! YESSSSS!!!!!! Once I've answered 2 more, I'll take a break and go through my closet some. 

Goals for Today

Since I have so much to get done today, I'm making myself a checklist.

• Answer 14 of the 19 questions I need to answer for my Heart of Darkness work. I've already answered 5, so I have 9 to go.
• Exercise, of course! I want to work out for at least 30 minutes. Hopefully I'll have time to do a little more than that, though!
• Clean my room some. It's always in need of some work. My closet especially could use some extra space, so cleaning it is definitely a must. I have a TON of purses and bags and stuff that I don't use, and some of the Vera Bradley stuff I could try to sell on eBay so I can have extra money for college. The rest of the stuff I would donate to Goodwill. If I don't get a lot of this done today, that's okay, I just want to do a little bit of work in there. 

Speaking of school...

I HAVE ONLY TWO DAYS TO FINISH HEART OF DARKNESS AND ANSWER A BAJILLION QUESTIONS I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!!!! 

I am kinda worried that my progress will slow down a bit once I get back to school, since it'll be harder for me to make time to exercise. I'm not too worried about tracking my food, since that's pretty easy. I will be surrounded by worse foods and the temptation to get a lot of fast/unhealthy foods, though... I'm just going to have to take things one day at a time and make the best of the time I have. 

Since the new semester is starting soon, I'll at least have a much less demanding school schedule! No more Honors Government or Economics, and I'll have a study hall and "advanced" Video Production (which can act as a study hall when I'm done with my work in that class)! So hopefully that'll make it easier for me to find time to exercise after school.

So I weighed myself this morning, and I was right! I did make a lot of progress! I lost 3 pounds since I first started documenting my food and exercising regularly! I can't wait to see how much total I lose. My goal is to get down to 145 pounds by spring break, but at this rate I think I can get to 140. I was at 165 once I started. Even though my body carries that weight relatively well, if I didn't start taking care of myself I would only go downhill as I aged. I'm feeling pretty good about things so far!

Goodnight!

Diet Update

Well I'm beat! I managed to get in that workout (yay!) and a post-workout snack in order to stay "healthily" under my calorie limit for today. I'm really sore and I'll probably pass out once my head hits the pillow! Side note, I need to make sure my mom gets some chocolate almond milk. That stuff is delicious, and chocolate milk on its own is apparently a great post-workout snack. It's even better if it's almond milk! So far, I think things are going well. I'm only on my fourth day, but I feel like I'm making progress. I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow morning and see what I've done so far. Fingers crossed I'm a little lighter?!

Lunch today with my family was pretty great! I had a 3-Cheese Grilled Cheese with smoked tomato bisque and french fries. It was delicious! The cheeses on the sandwich were smoked Gouda, cheddar, and frontega cheese. The fries were probably the best that I've ever had; at the very least, they were the best fries I've had in ages. The restaurant itself was pretty nice as well. Now, I just have to make sure I exercise a lot today in order to work off some of what I had and to help my metabolism.

Today I'm going out to lunch with my family, then once I get home I'm going to be hauling ass on my homework and exercising again. I also forgot that I need to be off book by my next rehearsal for one-acts... oops...

Point is, I have a ton of work to do today!

Her tore out my heart and beat it with a sledgehammer, but ohhhhh my goodness it was fantastic!!! On that note, goodnight!

I'm going to watch Her now! I'm really excited!

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that I'm kinda on a diet now?

I said something about not going past the calorie limits in my diet, and yep! I'm on a diet. Well, it's not so much a diet as much as it is an effort to eat better and exercise more (with the goal of significant weight loss, but overall health is important here too!). I'm using the MyFitnessPal app and it's been very great for tracking what I'm eating and monitoring what I need to eat/avoid. Strangely enough, I haven't had to change that much. i'm just making an effort to be conscious about what I put into my body. I'm also trying to exercise regularly as well. Even if it's something small like 15 minutes of Pilates/calisthenics, it helps a lot to get me into better shape. Today I did a Wii Fit workout for slightly over an hour. It was pretty great, so I think I'm going to do the same workout again and maybe do a few other exercises that weren't a part of that workout. 

When it comes to my weight, I never really have much trouble caused by eating. The major issue for me is exercise. I spent so much of my childhood despising and avoiding anything active that it was incredibly difficult for me to even start exercising around 7th grade. And then with my schedule being so so full, I find it very difficult to fit in exercise, or I'll be too tired/stressed from everything going on that I'll be too worn out to even try. If I can maintain a routine, I'll be in great shape in no time!

As far as why I'm even bothering with all of this, I have a ton of reasons. Yeah, a lot of them are superficial, but that doesn't mean that they aren't valid. Firstly, my sister, mother, and aunt are going to Aruba over Spring Break. Secondly, my family is full of diabetics so I am genetically dispositioned to become one if I don't shape up and clean up my eating habits. Thirdly, I'm going to college in slightly over six months. I want to be in my best form possible for that new leg of life, and I want to create habits that I can maintain while I'm there. Fourth, I want to be healthy and fit for a long life with Andy. Not too long after we started dating, he told me about how he was going to do everything he could so that he could live longer and better for me. He started eating better (like actually eating salads!) and exercising regularly, whatever it would take for him. And I have completely failed at doing the same for him. I want to turn that around while I still can. When I'm 35, it's going to be a lot more difficult to change my habits than it is when I'm almost 18. Finally, I want to do this so that I can be pleased with the girl I see in the mirror. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes for preaching self-love and denouncing media portrayals/photoshopping of women (see my multi-genre research project [aka my pride and joy] from junior year), but I do not like the way that I look, I do not like my body, and I know that there's a way for me to be healthier and more fit and hell yeah I'm going to go for it! 

Yeah, so y'all will probably get to hear all about how I'm doing over the next few weeks. Fingers crossed I actually stick with it this time. 

I managed to finish my Biology, so that gives me about 2 and a half hours worth of time to read/answer questions for English! 

Welp my goal may not quite be reached... Fingers crossed though!