Today is the first day of the rest of my life! I love myself, and I refuse to let anybody or anything get me down.
Today has had a lot of ups, and only one down. I took my dog out for a walk in a new park and it was absolutely lovely. She's a very happy dog now! However, I did leave my mom's ATM card in the machine so she's very upset with me.
She's been having a very frustrating day at work already, and she's having difficulties trying to manage some things at home like making doctor's appointments. Nothing seems to be going her way. I feel bad because her day just keeps getting worse and worse. I wanna make it better in any way that I can, but at the moment I'm not really sure how. I did include a small brownie with her lunch to try to help soother her pain with chocolate.
I think I'm gonna do dishes and work on christmas cards to make her day better/less stressful. Any little thing that could make things easier for her and give her less to worry about.
Friday, December 18, 2015
I WROTE MY FIRST REAL SCREENPLAY AND ACHIEVED SELF-ACCEPTANCE
I WROTE A FUCKING SCREENPLAY FOR MY UPCOMING SHORT FILM IN 6 HOURS.
GET ON MY LEVEL.
I ALSO REALIZED THAT I CAN LOVE MYSELF AGAIN.
AND I AM BEATING MY ANDY ADDICTION. HE'S NOT GETTING ANY OF THOSE LETTERS, I'M GONNA BURN THEM. THEY'RE DONE. THOSE FEELINGS ARE GONE. YOU KNOW HOW I GOT THERE?
THIS SCREENPLAY THAT'S HOW.
Andy and I would always share our work with each other to give constructive criticism, talk about what we liked in our work, and overall just to be proud of each others' achievements. I thought about sending him a copy of the rough draft. Thought.
I realized that I don't give a fuck if he's proud of me because I'M PROUD OF ME. All my friends from school are proud of me. My family is (sorta) proud of me. That means more than the attention of a guy who doesn't even want me in his life anymore.
I'm not gonna go out of my way to talk to him anymore. If he wants to be my friend eventually, he's gonna have to want it and better fucking work for it. I am a goddess and I am loved by plenty of people. I don't need him and I don't need anybody else.
Although I do love kissing and being held. Maybe when I'm back to school.
All that matters now is that I have my own back.
I FEEL SO FUCKING GOOD RIGHT NOW AND SO SO STRONG AND I AM GOING TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE THIS FEELING LAST FOREVER.
GET ON MY LEVEL.
I ALSO REALIZED THAT I CAN LOVE MYSELF AGAIN.
AND I AM BEATING MY ANDY ADDICTION. HE'S NOT GETTING ANY OF THOSE LETTERS, I'M GONNA BURN THEM. THEY'RE DONE. THOSE FEELINGS ARE GONE. YOU KNOW HOW I GOT THERE?
THIS SCREENPLAY THAT'S HOW.
Andy and I would always share our work with each other to give constructive criticism, talk about what we liked in our work, and overall just to be proud of each others' achievements. I thought about sending him a copy of the rough draft. Thought.
I realized that I don't give a fuck if he's proud of me because I'M PROUD OF ME. All my friends from school are proud of me. My family is (sorta) proud of me. That means more than the attention of a guy who doesn't even want me in his life anymore.
I'm not gonna go out of my way to talk to him anymore. If he wants to be my friend eventually, he's gonna have to want it and better fucking work for it. I am a goddess and I am loved by plenty of people. I don't need him and I don't need anybody else.
Although I do love kissing and being held. Maybe when I'm back to school.
All that matters now is that I have my own back.
I FEEL SO FUCKING GOOD RIGHT NOW AND SO SO STRONG AND I AM GOING TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE THIS FEELING LAST FOREVER.
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