My dad told me it was bedtime... Dad I'm fully aware what time it is and YES I'm still gonna work on my homework!

I have no motivation whatsoever. I need to to be held at gunpoint to get anywhere with all of this homework. Honestly I'm saving some of my Honors Government homework to do on my lunch on the first day of school. That's how far this has gotten. Why must school be this stressful?

Welp, I still have a fair deal of writer's block! It was helpful to unwind a little bit, and having written the big things that were stressing me out was kinda therapeutic. Now I just have to persevere with the working...

Writer's Block Blogging

Ugggggh I have insane writer's block right now. It might just be stress getting in my way, cuz I am so so so so stressed, so I'm just gonna blog about all the things that are stressing me out and that might help. If not, I'll just take a bubble bath or something small to distract myself long enough to calm down. So here's the collective list of everything that's stressing me out, not necessarily in order:

• Andy's leaving and I feel like I've wasted so much time this summer that I didn't spend with him. 
• All of my summer homework. I feel bad about this all around because I put it off and kept getting distracted by travelling and then Andy. I feel like no matter what I do I'm not using my time as well as  I could be. I need two extras days each week. 
• Being in charge of the school newspaper. On the bright side, My co-editor said multiple times that she is glad to take on the brunt of the work since she has a very easy schedule, which helps, but I worry that it might be a lot for the both of us. And some kids on the staff aren't very reliable...
• The first week of school, in English alone there's so much work: the first day we have two essays due the next day. That's absolutely insane and I'm not ready for that mentally. The first semester alone is gonna kill me.
• I've been gain a lot of weight as a result of eating worse at work and not having much time to exercise. I feel really crappy about my health, especially since I started the summer off so well, heading to the gym every other day, eating well, doing pilates, walking the dog, and so on. I really screwed up there.
• Being a giant screw-up in general has really been getting to me,

Tomorrow is gonna be so rough. I'm gonna be getting up early to work on my quotation reflections, and then I need to pick up some cookies and chips and veggies for the newspaper staff meeting, then seeing Andy for the last time for at least a month. At first I was way more freaked out about him leaving; I thought I wasn't going to be able to see him until at least Thanksgiving when he comes home, but I'll be heading up to Cleveland for theater classes at least twice before that. I do a program through the Cleveland Playhouse Education group where me and other high schoolers from the area get to take two master theater classes, have a free lunch, then see a show for free every month during the school year. It's right next to Andy's dorm building, so I'll at least get to see him regularly! I'll still cry Thursday night when I leave him, even though I know it won't be that long. Letting go is just really really fucking scary.

269 words down, hella words to go!

8-20-14

Yesterday I made a huge mistake. I didn't work on any of my summer homework. Not even a little bit. I done goofed. And I'm only just starting to work on it now today. I'm so so so so so so so so screwed. I have tonight, early early early Thursday morning, Friday night, and Sunday. I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die...